Do They Want It Or Need It?

Every time a birthday or Christmas come around, I wonder what to buy for the children.  Every grandchild's bedroom looks like Toys R Us.  They've got more than any child could possibly want or need.  It's not just kids with parents of means who have alot of "stuff."  Many middle and lower middle class children have every new toy, gadget, clothing outfit.  Why do we indulge our children so?

We are living in the age of instant gratification.  Bobby sees something he likes, Mommy buys it for Bobby.  The fact of the matter is that most toys are played with a few times, then discarded.  A few toys become favorites and are used all the time.  Many parents that indulge their children do so out of guilt.  They may be working long hours, and to compensate for that, may buy them gifts.  I know that most parents that travel a lot, always come back with gifts for the kids.  Children often make such a scene that parents would rather buy the toy for them than cause a scene.

I had rules for my children, and I think they still apply.  When going shopping, set the rules before hand.  For example.  Each child has $5 to spend at the market on whatever they want.  Or, when going to a toy store, each child can pick out one toy.(for a specified amount).  When going to the arcade, set limits on how many games they can play and how many snacks they can buy before you get there.  It will save you a lot of grief in the long run, and it will also teach the child that rules are set and followed.

I remember two situations when my children were growing up that really bring this home.  David was around 13 years old, and for his community service he worked at a senior home in Westwood called Westwood Horizons.  He would go there on Friday afternoon, play the piano for the residents, and help in the Shabbat service.  We would park at Bullock's and I would walk him over there.  He loved to shop, and we would always walk through the store.  One day we were walking through Bullock's and he saw a belt that he just had to have.  I told him I was not buying him the belt, and he would have to use his own money if he really wanted it.  My suggestion to him was to not buy it right away, but think about over the weekend, and if he really wanted it the following week, he should buy it.  He never bought it, or even mentioned it again.

The other situation was when Philip wanted to buy an expensive keyboard for a band he was playing in.  We already had a piano, and I felt the keyboard at $1200 was extravagant.  I told Phil that if he could save the money and pay for half, I would pay the rest.  It took him months to save the money, but he finally did.  We each paid 50%, and Phil had a beautiful keyboard that he enjoyed for many years.

Do kids want or need that special toy?  Most of the time they want it.  It's the same for adults.  I can't tell you how often I have delayed buying a pair of shoes or a sweater, only to discover that I really didn't want it in the first place.  It was just an impulse.  Most adults have learned control their impulses, and we must teach our children to do so too.

Another Great Saturday in Encinitas: Foodie Fest Encinitas

Fran and I were returning from our Saturday morning walk and were so hungry, so we stopped at Union, for a quick breakfast.  We split a garden omelette with fries and fruit, and devoured an order of beignets with boysenberry sauce.  It was delicious.  We crossed the street to the Lumberyard and discovered we never should have eaten breakfast.  Foodie Fest Encinitas was just underway, and the tastes from various restaurants were enough for a full meal.  Darn.  I was so full from Union I could hardly sample anything, but I will tell you some of the things we saw, and yes, we did taste a few of them.

Many local restaurants, from Cardiff to Oceanside, were there to tempt us.  All the new gastropubs in Oceanside were represented.  LTH, Privateer, Panca, and Barrel Republic were just some of the Oceanside eateries to choose from.  Q'ero, Blue Ribbon Pizzeria, and Moto Deli were also there.  Most food was locally sourced, all of the food was delicious.  Butterscotch pudding from Blue Ribbon Pizzeria, Banh Mi pork sandwich from Moto Deli, fabulous pork stew from Q'ero.  Home made chocolates and caramels were wonderful.  There was music, too, and celebrity chefs.  We spent about an hour there, talking to local restauranteurs, watching food being made, and eating.  Fresh made salami and cheese could also be tasted, and lots of wonderful fresh seafood,  (cervice, salmon and seaweed salad with fresh tuna) just to name a few.

Almost every week Fran and I walk in Encinitas, and almost every week there is something new and interesting going on.  A hooping class, a yoga class, a food show, a car show, or a craft show, there always seems to be something  fun.  If there's nothing much going on one day, at least there's a beautiful walk along Moonlight Beach available, and that's always fun.

Old Friends

For the past 15 years or so, Ron and I have been getting together with his old friends from high school, Phil and Ellen.  Phil and Ellen were high school sweethearts and have been married for close to 50 years.  After losing contact for many years, Ron was contacted by them when they were planning one of their class reunions.  The  reunion reunited Phil, Ellen and Ron, as well as many other old friends.

Ron went to University of Chicago Lab school, a small school consisting of many academic type kids, children of professors, and some local kids that qualified for admission.  Ron was in the latter group, and although he got a great education there and made some great friends, he never felt like he belonged.  He was not much of a student, spending most of his time playing sports and chasing girls.

In February we flew to Phoenix to visit Phil and Ellen, and see a few other friends from his high school class too.  One particular night was a standout for Ron.  It was the night he saw an old friend whom he hadn't seen in almost 60 years.  His friend Ian was a high school athlete, and he and Ron were on several teams together.  After spending 15 minutes together, it was just like old times for them.  Stories Ron had been telling me for years were now validated by Ian.  They remembered  much of the same  stories, and laughed and laughed over the fun and pranks they pulled as teens.  The funniest story was the one where they went to one boys home for the weekend while his parents were out of town.  They were "supervised" by the housekeeper!  They played poker and drank gin one night until they were all quite drunk.  The housekeeper told them that the way to cure a hangover was to put ice cubes in their underpants.  They believed her.  I can only imagine how many times the housekeeper told this story over the next 50 years.

There really is nothing like old friends.  Even if you don't see each other for years, a few minutes together and you're laughing again like old times.  This night was one that Ron won't soon forget, and neither will I.  I haven't seen men laugh like that in years.  What a special night.! 

KPBS Would Be Nothing Without Its Volunteers

I organized a group of Newcomers to visit the studios of KPBS in San Diego.  Their beautiful, state of the art building is due in part to the generosity of the Jacobs Family, the Shileys and the Waltons, and small donors, just like us.They are located right next to the SDSU, which gives students studying communications an opportunity for much hands on experience.  After lunch at DZ Akins, which is just minutes away, we were ready for our tour.

We were met in the lobby by Don, one of hundreds of volunteers at the studio.  Without volunteers KPBS would not operate.  They are used for everything from leading tours, to manning phones during pledge drives, to reading books and news for the radio reading services program.  Don was so enthusiastic about KPBS, that we couldn't help but be excited too.

We saw all aspects of the radio and television operation, from the digital operations center, to programming room, to sound stages and recording rooms.  I found the main room on the third floor very interesting.  There were a few executive offices around the perimeter, then rows of desks and computers in the center of the room.  Mounted above, around the whole room, were monitors with news and programming from all stations being shown.  There was a white board with news items listed, and how many "Likes" they got on Facebook.  Social media is important, and influences what stories make the nightly news and what stories don't.  Most interesting for me  was how quiet the newsroom was.  I expected reporters to be talking on the phone, but it was very QUIET.  Programming is all pre recorded for the week in the form of a playlist, just like you use for music.

We saw an art show in production, saw Ken Kramer (About San Diego) at work, and  talked to one of the behind the scenes voices, who was at work, recording spots for TV.

Perhaps the most important program we learned about was the Radio Reading Services program.  This is an all volunteer program for sight impaired listeners, where volunteers read the newspaper, books and ads.  The listener gets a special radio box that allows him to listen to much of KPBS's programming.  I was impressed with the high level of professionalism, and the friendliness of staff and volunteers toward our group.  They were all so willing to talk, answer questions, and make us feel that this was "our " television station.  If you have an opportunity to tour the station, do so.  It will give you an appreciation for the hard work that goes into every program they put on the air.

Where Do Old Tires Go?

I'm reading a fascinating book called The Coyote's Bicycle.  It's by Kimball Taylor, a journalist, an investigative reporter and surfer who likes to dig deep.  He really gets to the core of the situation.  This particular book is about seven thousand bicycles and the rise of a borderland empire.  It's about immigration and homeland security.  It is fascinating.  The bottom line is this.  Border Patrol has sensors near the border to detect people walking or running, trying to cross the border illegally.  They don't, however, have anything that detects something rolling, like a tire, so many illegals try to cross on bicycles.  The bicycles have been traced (tagged, like an animal) to see where they go.  They go back and forth across the border!  Pretty fascinating.

In the beginning of the book, Taylor talks about car and truck tires that are seen all over the border area, near the Tijuana River.  During flooding, which occurs cyclically about every  17 years, massive amounts of tires end up all over the Tijuana area.  Where do they come from?  A lot of them are old tires that have been sold to Mexico and are waiting to be resold.  When you go into your tire store for new tires, they take your old ones, and may charge you a small fee to "recycle" the tires.  Sometimes they are recycled, but other times they are sold to Mexico, where they are resold to residents there.  They have little life in them, and when they blow, they are usually just discarded.  Thus, there are lots of tires just lying around.

Here in America we have found many uses for old tires, and for the most part they are reused in a responsible way.  I have always wondered, as I drove through rural areas of our country, why there always seemed to be discarded tires around run down properties.  The answer must be that the people living there had no way to discard them.

As I read back what I just wrote, I can see that is a bit disjointed and rambling.  Sorry about that, but I wanted to tell you about Kimball Taylor, as the book is fascinating, and he has written other articles that are equally as compelling.  I also wanted to tell you about where many of our discarded tires go.  Read The Coyote's Bicycle to find out more about illegal immigration along the Tijuana border and rise of the "Coyote's."

A Night Out With The Romeos

I first learned about the Romeos just the other day.  I was walking Pepper, and my neighbor Max had his garage open, so I stopped by to chat with him.  He always has some interesting neighborhood news.  He was telling me about a phone call he got last week when he was out with the Romeos.  I no longer cared about the phone call, but wanted to find out what in the world the Romeos were.

Romeos stands for "Retired old men eating out."  They have no organization, no members, no requirements and no dues.  It's a commitment free club.  They come together for the sole purpose of having fun.  The Romeo clubs use social networks like Facebook to recruit and advertise its many chapters across the country in nearly every state.  The men come together for the comraderie of dining out together.  Through dining out, they build bonds and new friendships.

Men, more than women, have difficulty making new friends as they age.  Many men are single and don't have anyone to go out to dinner with.  The Romeos offer them a night out with other older men.  A chance for a good meal and the opportunity to meet new people. What a great idea.  There's nothing more important than keeping up friendships and socializing as you age.  It keeps you youthful.  Sharing  a meal with friends is what the Romeos do, no strings attached.

Stone Brewery: Much More Than Just Beer

A visit from my mom would not be complete without some fabulous meals.  I picked mom up at the train station on a Thursday at noon, and we drove to Stone Brewery in Escondido.  I had been wanting to dine there for a long time, but something had always come up.  It's a little off the beaten path, but only 20 minutes from my house.  Now with a new location at Liberty Station, Stone Brewery is convenient to everyone in San Diego.

First, the building in which the brewery, gardens, tap room and restaurant are housed, is gorgeous.  Lots of granite, rock, glass and wood are present, and light filters into the restaurant wherever you are.  The gardens are beautiful, with fire pits, beautiful Adirondeck chairs, and benches randomly placed around the garden area.  There are water features too, with fish and turtles.  Sitting in that environment having a wonderful farm to table lunch or dinner will make you forget you're anywhere near a big city.

For those so inclined, brewery tours are available, followed by tasting.  They also have a tap room available for tasting.  I am not a beer drinker, so this is of no interest to me, but I was surprised by the huge bar filled with people at 2pm in the afternoon.  We went for lunch, and enjoyed a few very tasty dishes.  We shared everything.  I am not a fan of brussel sprouts, but I am now.  The brussel sprouts were cooked with honey, vinegar and  pancetta, until they were crispy on the outside.  Absolutely fantastic.  We had a wilted spinach salad with goat cheese which was absolutely delicious.  We also had the pork ribs with a nice spicy sauce, and a side of kim chee.  The kim chee was too spicy for us, so our waitress brought us an other of smashed potatoes and garlic.  Very good.  It was an exceptional lunch, and I can't wait to go to their other location at Liberty Station for lunch or dinner.  They have a little different menu, and have a wonderful happy hour.  Additionally, Stone Brewery is such a huge space that it offers rooms for private parties and weddings.  What a beautiful setting, and wonderful food to boot.  I loved it.

Art Alive: An April Tradition

I'd been telling my mom about the annual Art Alive, the San Diego Art Museum event that combines fine art with floral interpretations, and wanted her to come see it.  She did this year, and she just loved it.  She has a keen appreciation for art, after being a docent at UCLA and the Hammer Museum for many years, in addition to taking a group of like minded women on art adventures around LA for many more years.  I knew she had not seen anything like Art Alive, and knew she would enjoy it.  She did.

The museum was packed, and except for the fact that we had to fight huge crowds, it was a wonderful morning.  The 150 florists that participate in the event pick a painting, and interpret that painting in a floral arrangement.  It's really quite something.  This is the third year I have attended.  The theme this year was Chinese.  In the foyer of the museum stood a huge dragon made from flowers, something you might see on a Rose Parade Float.  It was beautiful, with fish suspended around the dragon it was a real eye catcher.  Many of the floral arrangements really captured the feel of the picture they were interpreting, others did not, but all in all it was excellent.  If you have never seen Art Alive, I urge you to mark your calendar for the end of April next year and visit exhibit.  Because flowers die so quickly, it is only there for three days.

Murals Help Heal The World

A day with Newcomers is always interesting, informative, and fun.  An outing to the new Muramid Museum and Art Center in Oceanside offered all of that and more.  Thank you to Melinda for organizing this event.  Most of our time was spent listening to Joanne Tawfilis, co founder of the museum, talk about her life and how mural art entered her world.  Joanne spent 30 years working for the UN.  After that, she spent time in Bosnia, and this is where things changed for her.  She worked with women who had lost their husbands and sons to a horrific war, and she tried to find ways for the women to heal themselves and carry on.

Joanne discovered that making murals was both cathartic and team building, for both children and adults.  This led her to create The Art Miles Mural Project.  AAMP is more about the process of bringing people together to build consensus and demonstrate how, "Peace begins with me," than it is about the actual mural.  AMMP is a passionate and colorful twenty-year movement combining the efforts of children and adults worldwide to promote global harmony through mural art.

Inside the museum, the first indoor mural art museum, are several murals from Kenya, Somalia, and other areas of the world where people are trying to heal through mural art.  Meeting and hearing Joanne's story was inspiring.  She does more in one day than I can even think about doing.  The result is, through volunteers and lots of hard work, a program of mural art that is done and viewed worldwide.  The museum also hosts music nights, and other special events.  Next time you're in Oceanside, stop by Muramid Museum at 212 No. Coast Highway and see what I'm talking about.

What is Preuss School?

I learned about the Preuss School when I went to an Osher lecture on the history of jazz.  The Socal Jazz Society has programs in place in elementary, middle and high schools in the San Diego area, to bring a love of music, and specifically jazz, to our youth.  Preuss School is one of the schools teaching the jazz unit to students, which motivated me investigate the Preuss School.  Here's what I found out about the school voted "Number 1 transformative high school in America."

The Preuss School began when a group of UCSD professors began planning the best way to increase the number of low income or under-represented groups of students to the university.  Under the leadership of Cecil Lytle, provost of Thurgood Marshall College at the time, the group approached Robert Dynes, then chancellor, and requested they start a charter school for grades 6-12 to be built and run by the university.

The first and most significant $5 million gift toward building the school came from Peter and Peggy Preuss and their family foundation.  Other significant gifts were given by John Moores, the Walton Family Foundation, the Copley Family, Douglas Manchester and the Coors family.  The school opened in 1999 in portable buildings on UCSD's Thurgood Marshall campus with 150 students in grades 6-8.  The current state of the art facility is on the university's East Campus off of Genesee Ave.

The student population at Preuss is mostly children from low income families who strive to become the first in their family to graducate from college.  The environment at Preuss encourages risk taking while offering an array of academic supports.  With a more than 90% rate of graduates accepted to four year universities, the program seems to be working.  More importantly, Preuss provides students with the skills necessary to effect change in society and help transform communities.  The Socal Jazz Society's music program is just one of many innovative programs in place to broaden the horizons of the students.

Cruisin' Grand

My mom came down to visit for a few days.  I picked the time when Art Alive was being presented, and I will tell you more about that beautiful event at another time.  On a Friday evening, my mom, Ron, and I drove to Escondido to have dinner at one of our favorite places, Intertwined.  I had forgotten that Friday night was the night that Escondido is bustling with people and cars, all there to attend Cruisin' Grand.

Every night from April through October, Friday night is a real happening in Escondido.  We got there at 7pm which I would not recommend.  Parking was a nightmare.  We got lucky, having a handicapped placard we were able to park just two blocks away from Intertwined.  For four or five blocks around Grand Avenue, the streets are filled with vintage cars, most restored impeccably.  People bring a portable chair, and pull up a seat on the sidewalk and do some serious people watching.

My suggestion is to try Cruisin' Grand on a warm summer Friday night.  Arrive around 5pm, find a bar or restaurant with an outside patio facing Grand Avenue, order a drink and some Happy Hour appetizers.  That's a great way to enjoy the cars, the food, and the people watching.  It's great fun!  (If you've been to Intertwined in the past, they have made some changes.  They still have the same delicious food, but they now have more small plates and less large entrees).

Is The Art Of Letter Writing Dead?

When was the last time you wrote a letter?  If you're like me, probably a long time ago.  The closest I get to letter writing these days is a Hallmark Card with a personal note inside.  The age of the internet has pretty much obliterated letter writing.  We communicate through e-mail, text and video chat.  We send cards most often by e-mail.  I used to love getting letters.  The postal service says that the average household gets a personal letter delivered once in two months.  I haven't gotten a letter in years!

I remember my mom showing me some letters written to her by her father.  The year was probably around 1940.  She was leaving New York to get married, and he wrote her a lengthy letter about life and love.  I also remember receiving and writing letters to my grandparents in the early 1950's.  I looked forward to these letter so much, and have kept many of them to this day.  My grandmother loved to give me tips about life and love.  I wrote to my parents, too, when I was at summer camp.  I enjoyed writing the letters and I know how much they enjoyed receiving them.  Getting an e-mail from someone is just not the same.  There's a time and place for everything.  In this age of instant gratification we love to dash off an e-mail telling someone something, when years ago we would write it in a letter that they might not receive for a week.  When Ron was at Taft, letter writing was a major way of communicating.  Phone time was limited, so each week we wrote to each other, and cherished these letters.  A letter can be held, read and reread, and enjoyed multiple times.  An e-mail just isn't the same.

My grandchildren range in age from 1-6, and I think it's time for the older ones to start writing letters to grandma and grandpa.  It's great practice, it gives them a chance to organize their thoughts, and it give us a chance to enjoy their letters.  There are people who make letter writing a hobby.  They have pen pals all over the world.  They love using letter writing to communicate.  Let's not forget that sometimes an actual letter is very powerful.  Your friend or loved one will enjoy it much more than an e-mail, of that I am sure.

What Happened to the Patagonian Toothfish:

In the late 1990's, the Patagonian toothfish was designated a threatened species.  A threatened species is one that is likely to become endangered in the foreseeable future.  Before 1990, few people had heard of the Patagonian toothfish,, but around this year it became popular in restaurants.  To make it appealing, it was renamed the Chilean sea bass, even though most are not caught near Chile, and it's not even a bass.  It reached the height of it's popularity in 2001 when Bon Appetit magazine name it "Dish of the Year."

I love Chilean sea bass.  It is a soft, flaky white fish, that takes on the flavor of whatever spices and sauces you add to it.  I used to make it at home, marinating it in a mixture of soy sauce, ginger and garlic, then baking it until flaky.  It was moderately priced and low in calories and so delicious.  Then around 2000, it became scarcer and scarcer on menus.  That's because it was getting harder for fishermen to find any.  Limits were set, but "pirate" ships rushed in to fill the market demand.  According to the U.S. Department of State, this species, while not endangered, was seriously threatened as a result of illegal overfishing.  By 2003, some environmental groups were claiming that if this overfishing wasn't stopped, the Patagonian toothfish would become commercially extinct in about five years.

Suddenly, Chilean sea bass was off the menu at restaurants, and unavailable in markets.  If you found it in a market, it was extremely expensive.  The reason why the fish was at risk of becomming endangered was that the fish is very slow to mature, and they tend to group together while spawning, making them easy prey for fishing trawlers.  In the early 2000's, consumers were asked to consider alternate choices because it is difficult to determine whether or not an individual fish has been legally harvested.  By reducing overall demand, activists hope to reduce the appeal of poaching, which would reduce pressure on these fish and allow them to recover.  That is what has happened.  10-15 years of light fishing has allowed them to replenish themselves.

U.S. consumers who want to make more informed choices about their fish might want to look up the website of the Marine Stewardship Council.  This group certifies fish that are harvested in a sustainable and healthy way.  Seafood Watch is another organization worth looking into.  Consumers acted responsibly and reduced their consumption of Chilean sea bass, giving the species time to increase its numbers.  It's back on the menu, and in the market again because of consumers interest in protecting the species.