What's Best For Single Seniors?

Where should a single senior in her 80's or 90's live?  Independent living in a senior community, assisted living in a senior community or in his/her own home?  I've been thinking a lot about this lately, as my mother, now in her high 90's is trying to decide where to live for the rest of her life.

Assuming money is not an issue, most seniors have several choices.  If money is an issue, it is often best to find independent or assisted living in a moderate community.  After all, independent living can range from $3-4 thousand dollars at the low end, to over $15,000 at the high end.  That's the rate per month.  I know because I just went and looked at an independent community that was $14,500 per month, and that doesn't include everything.

One of the big problems for seniors as they age, especially if they don't have family nearby, is who will care for them if they get sick?  In assisted living there will be nursing care provided.  In independent living there may also be nursing care, and if the situation calls for it, a person may be forced to move from independent to assisted living.  The problem is continuity.  You will most likely have a different nurse every time, maybe three different people in one day.  If a senior is living at home he can have the same person all the time.  Having the same nurse or caregiver all the time gives the senior a real sense of security.  I know this is true for my mom.  One of the reasons she likes living on her own is that she has the same person with her all the time. That works for her.

The most positive aspect of living in a senior community is the social life.  There are so many activities, and meals with others are certainly more fun than meals alone.

After looking at several facilities with my mom we have decided that staying in her own home is best for her.  She would love the community of a senior living facility but there are too many negatives that come with it. 

I wanted her to make the decision on where to live while she is in good health and choose her own path.  Too many people wait until they are in a situation where they live is chosen for them.  I didn't want that to happen to my mom.  I'm glad we looked at all the options.  For her, staying where she has lived for almost 70 years is best. 

The Importance of Moral Courage

“Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their peers, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change.”

I heard Adam Schiff  use this quote in his closing statement during the first stage of the Trump impeachment trial.  I thought about it for a minute, and realized that moral courage is far rarer than bravery on the battlefield.  It has never been more important than right now, for those in congress to have the moral courage to do what is right.

I fear the trial will be over without a single witness being called, a single document entered into evidence, a single Republican voting for these things to be allowed.  How will they explain to their constituents, their children, their grandchildren, that they voted NOT to allow witnesses or documents?  Have you ever heard of a trial without witnesses?  

Senators are all worried about the wrath of Trump.  Well, if they don't show a little courage, we could end up with something far worse than what we have seen so far.  With no checks on a president, we could end up a monarchy.  Please, someone show some courage and place country above party and at the very least, allow documents and witnesses.  Otherwise, this trial is just a sham.

Loss of Focus and Concentration in Older Adults

I was discussing with my mom recently the fact she and I both find it hard to focus and to concentrate as easily as we used to.  (Mom is 97, I'm 74).  I mentioned to her that when I read a book I often have to close my bedroom door, as I find the noise from the TV in another room very distracting.  There was a time when I could read and listen to music with no problem.  She mentioned that she no longer drives with the radio on, as she finds it very distracting.  I have noticed the same thing.  If I am carrying on a conversation while driving, my driving suffers.  It's alarming when you first notice it, but it is normal.

Older adults appear more easily distracted by irrelevant information than younger people when they experience stress or powerful emotions -- and a specific network in the brain recently identified as the epicenter for Alzheimer's and dementia may be to blame.

A USC-led study finds that seniors' attention shortfall is associated with the locus coeruleus, a tiny region of the brainstem that connects to many other parts of the brain. The locus coeruleus helps focus brain activity during periods of stress or excitement.

Increased distractibility is a sign of cognitive aging, said senior author Mara Mather, an expert on memory and professor at the USC Leonard Davis School of Gerontology. The study found that older adults are even more susceptible to distraction under stress, or emotional arousal, indicating that the nucleus's ability to intensify focus weakens over time.

Can we do anything to slow down the process or get back the focus we had when we were younger?  Yes, we can do some things, but we will probably never have the focus we had when we were young.  Accepting the fact that you are older and this happens to everyone is not the answer.  It happens quickly to some people, more slowly to others.  The key is to continue to do things that are hard for you, that cause you to challenge your brain and focus.  Do not give tasks to others that you are capable of doing.  For example, balancing your check book may be more difficult for you now, but don't give up doing it.  Keep at it.  It's good for your brain, good to challenge your brain.  Often when with a group of people, there may be more than one conversation taking place.  You may find it hard to concentrate on your conversation with the distraction of another.  Work at it, focus on the people you are talking to.  It's good for you!

In another blog I will give you some actual exercises that can be done to help focus and concentration.  The old saying, "Use it or lose it" applies to our ability to focus.  The more you work at it, the less likely you are to lose it.  

Panini Kebob and Grill Bressi Ranch

For months I've been hearing about Panini Kebob and Grill in Del Mar from my friends who live in the area, but until they opened in Bressi Ranch last month, I never had occasion to try them.  I went there for lunch with Audrey in November, and it was so good I went back a few days later for dinner with a few friends.  The Bressi Ranch location has a lovely covered outdoor area, plus plenty of indoor dining.  The waitstaff is friendly and helpful.

On my first visit to Panini Kebob I had a vegan meal.  Well, Audrey did anyway.  I had a little tzadiki, which is not vegan.  We ordered the falafel platter.  Hummus, six falafel, tzadiki, lots of pita, and lots of sliced cucumbers.  Everything was fresh and delicious, and there was plenty to eat.  We split the platter and were very satisfied.

My next visit a few days later was for dinner.  There were three of us.  This gave me a chance to sample several other menu items.  I order the date salad.  It was delicious and very satisfying.  Dates, currents, nuts, cheese and lettuce in a  raspberry vinagrette  was a perfect combination.  It was served with a big portion of pita.  Wendy ordered a chicken and brie panini.  It was served with a side salad, and was so big she took half home.  Phyllis ordered the salmon wrap, again big enough to share.  It was a combination of lots of veggies, like lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, parsley plus the salmon, on a large pita and rolled into two large servings.  She raved about it.

The only thing lacking from Panini Kebob and Grill is a few of my favorite Mediterranean salads, like babaganouch and tabouli.  There is no dolmas or spanikopita either, but the good fresh kebobs, fluffy rice, fresh vegetables, and tangy tzadiki will keep me coming back for more.

The Alternative To Big Farms

We hear so much about big farms today, driving out small farmers, being interested in profits at the expense of growing good, healthy food, without pesticides.  Well, it doesn't have to be this way.  After watching the award winning documentary, The Biggest Little Farm, small farms can succeed and thrive.

In 2009, John and Molly Chester adopted a dog named Todd.  They rescued him from inhumane living conditions, and it was because of Todd that they started their organic farm.  They lived in a small apartment near Los Angeles, and because of his incessant barking, the family was eventually evicted.  This was an opportunity for Molly, the  food blogger and gourmet chef, and John, her aspiring filmmaker husband, to make a move.  They bought 200 acres of parched land in Moorpark, California, and eight years later, had turned it into what a traditional farm should be.

The Chesters knew nothing about farming, but through reading, trial and error, and with the help of agricultural savant Alan York, created a magnificent biodiverse farm.  No pesticides were used, but instead they brought in owls to kill the gophers, ducks to take care of snail infestations, and two herding dogs to guard the henhouse from coyotes.

Today, they have 60 employees working the farm, 85 animals, and produce and sell over 500,000 pounds of produce every year.  In addition to this, they have a thriving egg business that sells out each week at the local farmers market.  Apricot Lane Farms is not only a thriving biodiverse farm with dozens of varieties of stone fruits, but it is a model for what a small farm can be.

The animals became so much a part of the movie, it almost reminded me of an adult Charlotte's Web.  Emma the pig, nursing her 13 babies and leaving room in her home for a lone rooster who became her constant companion, warmed my heart.  The movie also emphasized how difficult farming is.  A farmer must be a businessman, scientist, hunter(some coyotes were killed), and problem solver.  A farmer must also have some good luck, as Apricot Lane Farms did when a fire a few years ago came close to them, but then a shift in the wind saved everything.  If you get a chance, watch this delightful and informative movie.  I found it on Amazon.

Why Parents Are Reluctant To Leave Kids With The Babysitter

When I first started babysitting, I made 50cents per hour.  My first job was with an Orthodox Jewish family in Los Angeles.  I was in charge of their two little girls, age 6 months and 3years.  I knew nothing at this point about keeping Kosher, but the mother of the house instructed me on all the do's and don'ts.  I had never changed a diaper in my life, but I soon became and expert, and my time with the children was limited, as they went to bed early.  I spent the rest of the night either studying or talking on the phone.  I did not always follow the Kosher rules, mostly because I forgot.  This family was very frugal and saved plastic bags, waxed paper and aluminum foil.  The kitchen was filled with drawers neatly arranged with plastic and paper that had been used and reused many times.  I found this odd at the time, but now 60 later I still remember her frugality.  She was just an early recycler.

I was told by a friend that when she first started babysitting, she made 25cents per hour, and her parents required her to give half the money to them, and she kept the other half.  What's with that?

Another friend claimed that her friend was babysitting a little three year old girl, and tattooed her butt with a heart.  Another friend came home and found the children tearing up the house, while the babysitter was asleep on the couch.  Finally, another woman told me that one of her friends gave the child a half bottle of sweet wine, and the child was drunk when the parents came home.

I have only one negative babysitting incident to report.  It happened to me when my kids were around seven and three.  We had a live in housekeeper who had only been with us a few weeks, and I could clearly tell she didn't like our dog.  What I came to find out weeks later from my seven year old was that she had been putting pepper on a cloth and rubbing it on the dog's mouth.  I was horrified when I finally found this out.  My son David, who talked a blue streak, was afraid to tell me about it for several weeks.  When I could see that the dog was afraid of the housekeeper, I knew something was up.  He told me, and the housekeeper was gone within the hour.

It's no wonder that parents today are super careful of who cares for their children.  Children don't always want to tell the parents what the babysitter is doing, for a variety of reasons. There are a lot of nuts out there, so many parents would rather stay home than risk a bad experience.

Many American Cities Will Soon Be Under Water

I recently read The Uninhabitable Earth, which scared the crap out of me.  If half the predictions they make come true, this planet is toast.  I can't figure out why so many still don't get it.  Perhaps the predictions of the Union of Concerned Scientists will get your attention.

The steady rise in global surface temperatures is attributed largely to  human-caused green house gas emissions.  The world's ice has been melting and sea level have been rising.  Even with conscientious efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, sooner or later thousands of coastal communities around the world will become uninhabitable.  In theory, with the melting of ice in Antarctica, global sea levels could rise 200 feet.  This kind of catastrophic sea level rise is just one of many potential disaster scenarios that could take place.

The UCS (Union of Concerned Scientists) released a report identifying U.S. coastal communities expected to face chronic and disruptive flooding before the end of the century.  The following communities are just some of the those that will experience at least 10% of habitable land under water:  Secaucus, New Jersey, Hampton, Virginia, St. Simons, Georgia, Margate City, New Jersey, St. Helena Island, South Carolina, Long Beach, New York, Revere, Massachusetts, Little Ferry, New Jersey, Middle Keys, Florida and St. Pete Beach Florida are some of the communities that will be partially underwater in the next 40 years.  The top  5 communities that will be effect (where at least 30% of the area will be completely underwater are Key West, Florida, Atlantic City, New Jersey, Hoboken, New Jersey and Miami Beach, Florida.  Miami Beach will be 60% underwater by 2060, and at current property value, $19.3 billion will be affected.

When are people going to realize that we must take action now?  Our children will see coastal cities disappear in their lifetime. Environmentalists and government must work together to save our planet. 

Why You Shrink As You Age

Have you noticed that you're shorter than you were a few years ago?  Your pants may suddenly be too long on you and you look in the mirror and realize you are shrinking.  I have lost 2 inches in height over the past 20 years.  My mom has lost about 4 inches over the years, and another friend of mine just got measured at the doctor's office and discovered he had lost 4 inches in height.

Average people lose 1/4 to 1/2 inch every decade after age 40 or 50, with losses increasing in later years, and women generally losing more than men.  It varies a lot, some people losing a lot at one time, others not losing any height until they're in their 60's or 70's.  So why do we shrink?

People lose height because the discs between the vertebrae in the spine dehydrate and compress.  The agine spine can also become more curved, and vertebrae can collapse due to loss of bone density.

Losing height can be an indicator of health problems. The greater the shrinkage, the greater the risk of hip and other nonvertebral fractures.  Also, shrinkage can be a result of osteoporosis.

There's not too much you can do to prevent shrinkage, since genetics plays a big role.  However, even in later years you may be able to slow shrinkage by taking steps that will help protect your bones and muscles, such as doing weight bearing exercise, consuming adequae calcium, vitamin D and other bone healthy nutrients, not drinking alcohol in excess, and above all, NOT SMOKING.

What Are King Tides?

King Tides is not a scientific term. It was first used in Australia and New Zealand, and is now used America to describe the very high tides that occur several times a year.  This year, the king tides occurred from January 10-12.  Educators along coastal regions offered walks and talks to educate the public.  This is NOT the time to go swimming.  You boogie boarders, wait a few days and wait until the surf returns to normal.

The king tides occur when the Earth, Moon and Sun are aligned at perigee and perihelion, resulting in the largest tidal range seen over the course of a year. So, tides are enhanced when the Earth is closest to the Sun around January 2 of each year. They are reduced when it is furthest from the Sun, around July 2.

I was in Solana Beach on Sunday to observe the king tides.  Boy, was I surprised.  I was expecting huge waves, but that is not what I saw. 
The waves were normal, maybe 3-4 feet, but the tide came all the up to the cliffs.  The king tides are high tides, and have nothing
to do with the size of the waves.  Lots of surfers were out on Sunday morning to enjoy the surf and the long ride in.













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Restaurant Openings in North County San Diego

It's hard to keep up with all the restaurant openings and closings, but here are a few spots you might like to know about.  I have not been to any personally, but will try several of them for sure. 

In Oceanside, Orfila Vineyard and Winetasting  might be a place to try for good wine and a light dinner.  The vineyard is in Escondido, and they have now opened a tasting room and pub in Oceanside, near the pier.  Light meals and good wine, how can that be bad?

Live Culture Cafe in Leucadia may not be for everyone, but those looking for healthy foods prepared with live bacteria cultures will surely try this small, 25 seat restaurant.  Kombucha, sandwiches on sour dough bread made from live yeast cultures and live culture yogurt are just some of their offerings.

Town Hall Public House in Vista took over where Flying Pig used to be.  The new gastropub is more casual, and prices are lower.  It is southern inspired, and being only 10 minutes from my home, I will give it a try.

The Henry has opened in Coronado.  I LOVE this place.  The Henry in Phoenix is one of my favorite breakfast and lunch spots when we visit there, and I'm sure The Henry in Coronado will be great.  It's a bit of a drive to go there, but maybe I'll try it out when the weather gets nice.

3Ten Churro Bar is a place I will definitely try.  It's in the Mira Mesa West Shopping Center, and it's a dessert bar, operated by the people from The Broken Yolk.  All kinds of churros is their specialty.  Yum.

International Smoke in Del Mar is a new addition to One Paseo.  It's a globally inspired menu, with foods prepared with fire, grilling and smoking techniques.  Falafel, curry cornbred, Wagyu shaking beef and St. Louis style pork ribs are just a sampling of what you might try.

There are lots of new openings in Little Italy, North Park, Liberty Station and Ocean Beach, but I concentrated on places that are close to MY home.  I hope you get an opportunity to try some. 

The Future of Driverless Cars

I wrote a blog a few years ago about the future of the autonomous car, when it appeared just around the corner.  In the past few years, auto makers have invested billions of dollars in driverless cars, and it hasn't quite developed as they first thought.

First, defining a driverless car has become more complicated, so developers have created five phases of driverless car from phase one, where the car can do such things as monitor your car's ability to safely change lanes and control speed, to phase five, which does not require a driver and the car does everything.

Driverless vehicles are in operation in a variety of situations, but it will probably be another decade before the technology is fully developed and your Uber will arrive sans driver.  Farms and mines have been using driverless vehicles for decades.  Short route vehicles in very controlled downtown routes are available in several major cities, like Detroit.  Driverless shuttles are being used in senior communities with little traffic in California and Arizona.

It will be some time before the fully autonomous vehicle is available.  One problem is that the robot used in testing are extremely expensive, which increases the cost of development.  Tesla promises to have an autonomous car on the road by late 2020, and we'll see if that actually happens.  The reality is that in the forseeable future we will begin to see cars with some autonomous capabilities, but will still need a driver.

All major automakers are working on driverless vehicles.  Hopefully in the next decade we will see this technology reach the mass market.  Then, when I no longer drive, I can have my autonomous Uber pick me up every morning and take me to Starbucks. 

Can Stem Cell Therapy Replace Knee Replacement?

Six months after a total knee replacement I am still not where I should be.  Weakness and pain, and an inability to get back to my normal activities are just some of my problems.  So, when I started talking to the woman sitting next to me on the plane ride from San Diego to Denver and she told me she was just returning from Tijuana where she had stem cell therapy, my ears perked up.

She had gone to a Tijuana clinic last year for her left knee, and her results we so good that she went back to have her other knee injected.  She explained the process to me.  It's a minimally invasive procedure, where one's own stem cells are removed from your body, either through the hip or the belly button, then injected into the knee.  It takes several months to evaluate the results.  Researchers believe that stem cell therapy for the knee works by developing into essential cartilage cells, thwarting the inflammation that can worsen arthritis, and releasing proteins called cytokines that slow degeneration of cartilage and reduce pain.

Stem cell therapy is available in the U.S., but is not covered by insurance yet.  The same procedure is done in Tijuana and other locations outside the U.S, at a fraction of the cost.  The cost in Tijuana is around $2,500 per knee, where the same procedure in the U.S. is about $20,000.

Most experts feel stem cell therapy will be covered by Medicare and other health companies in the near future.  This is very promising procedure for those with osteoarthritis.

Lunch At Black Rail Kitchen

Tuscany in Carlsbad was a favorite of many for years, but sadly, it closed over a year ago.  A new restaurant has taken its place, and one you will enjoy for lunch, happy hour or dinner.  It's Black Rail Kitchen.  The interior has been completely redone, with a beautiful bar as the centerpiece.  Comfortable booths and tables are spread far enough apart so you don't feel you're in someone else's conversation.  They have added a beautiful outdoor space, with tables and heaters.  It's a great place to enjoy happy hour.

Our lunch bunch went there recently, and enjoyed the entire experience.  There were eight of us.  We split four entrees, added a few appetizers to share, and finished up with two delicious desserts.  Here's what we had.

Most of the lunch menu has a Mediterranean twist.  Carol and I shared the lamb carnitas.  It was served on a large pita, and the fillings were shredded lamb with Mediterranean spices, guacamole and pickled onions.  It was really tasty.  Fran and Regina shared a burger, and they both said it was one of the best ever.  Vivian and Melanie shared a veggie wrap.  A variety of veggies with sauce, wrapped in a pita.  Marilyn and Debbie shared the meatballs.  I think they were served over rice, and they really liked them.  Then we ordered several appetizers to share.  We had a veggie and goat cheese flat bread that was delicious, served on very thin, crispy bread.  We also ordered broccolini.  What can I say about broccolini?  Then we had shishito peppers, that were charred, mixed with olive oil, and served with a mayonnaise dressing.  They were great.  After all that we thought we were full (we were) and through (we weren't), as our waiter told us about dessert.  We tried two different ones, and I loved them both.  One was an apple cake, soft and moist, with lots of apples on top, with vanilla ice cream.  How can you go wrong?  The other was a Middle Eastern pudding made from yogurt and gelatin, a little tart but very tasty.  The glass in which it was served was lined with very thin slices of persimmon.  There were chia seeds on the bottom of the pudding, and it was topped with pomegranetes and crushed pistacchios.

I will go back for dinner sometime soon, as Black Rail Kitchen seems to have it all:  good food, good service, and a great atmosphere.

Reconnecting With Old Friends

I'm not much for New Year's resolutions, but I do feel that this time of year is a good opportunity to reach out to friends you haven't seen or heard from in a while.  I made of list of about a dozen people that I hadn't seen or heard from in a long time.  Life sometimes gets in the way of staying connected with everyone!  Anyway, I am sure glad I did.

I reconnected with a woman I hadn't seen in 10 years!  Her husband was at Taft when Ron was there, and we became very close.  We would drive to Taft on Fridays together.  What memories we have shared.  It turns out she and her husband now live in Dana Point, just a few miles from us, so we are going to get together soon.

Another friend was a Carlsbad neighbor who I haven't seen in over 5 years.  We saw each other everyday.  We walked our dogs together, and although we did not see eye to eye on anything politically, we were very close and had great respect for one another.  We will also get together with them soon.

Another friend, Kay, was my bridge partner for many years when she lived in Solana Beach and I lived in Del Mar and then Carlsbad.  We played bridge every Tuesday night for years.  Sadly, she moved north to Huntington Beach and our bridge partnership ended, but I think of often, so I contacted her a few days ago.  She was thrilled to hear from me and told me that she still has the aloe plant I gave her 9 years ago.  It has grown into a monster.

Connecting with old friends feels so good.  I'm so glad I did, and it seems they were happy to hear from me, too.  This is a great time to do so, as we get ready to face a new decade.  Happy new year, everyone!