Is There A Way To Stop Bullying?

Two recent tragedies related to the subject of bullying have made me re-examine how civilized our society really is. It is heartbreaking to think that anyone would want to bully a young man or woman (or boy or girl) to the point that they would commit suicide, but we see and hear about just that all too often. Bullying is nothing new. I remember playground bullies from my childhood and the fear and insecurity they caused the kids they picked on. My guess is that many of the kids doing the bullying also have mothers or fathers that did the same thing. In other words, it's a learned behavior, one that parents could stop if they wanted to.

Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem and put down other people to feel better about themselves. While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school, new research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills. They enjoy being cruel to others and sometims use bullying as an anger management tool.

I support schools that have a zero tollerance policy toward bullies. Hopefully parents are teaching children to be compassionate, understanding and tollerant. Positive attitudes must be taught at home and enforced at school Usually the kids that are bullied stand out in the crowd. They may have a disability or an unpopular sexual orientation. All of these reasons may cause a person to be bullied. We can stop bullying, and we must.

I was impressed by a recent episode of John Quinones' show "What Would You Do?" He set up a situation with teen actors where a few boys would get together and pick on a quiet girl. The girl being picked on was also an actor, but there were three young girls who were not in on the set up. One of three stood up for the girl, actually got between her and the boy bully, and told him to stop. She also said she would report him to school officials. The other two girls stood by and did nothing. The parents of the girls were watching through a one way mirror, and the father of the young girl who helped stopped the bullying was so proud of his daughter. I would be too. It is hard for kids, especially teens to stand up for what is right. I felt optomistic watching this program that there are some parents that are teaching their children to stand up for what is right.

Bullying has always existed, and probably always will, but we can try hard to teach tollerance and respect for others and hope that this is reinforced at school. If we all try, we can reduce this terrible practice that has caused so many to take their own lives.