Forty Sixth Visit to Taft

Last Thursday was another milestone in Ron's prison experience. It was December 1, just six months until Ron will be coming home. Someone asked me the other day how long it would be until Ron returned, and when I said "June", she indicated that seemed like a long time. It doesn't seem long to me, and more importantly, it doesn't seem long to Ron right now. In a few weeks it will be Christmas, then February it will be my birthday, March is our anniversary, and before you know it, it will be June 1. I am excited about how fast time seems to be going. Ron feels the same, and I only hope the last few months don't drag.

Friedrich Nietzsche, the great German philosopher, said "What does not destroy me, makes me stronger." A recent study by Dr. Mark Seery at the University of Buffalo indicates that Nietzsche was right. The study showed that people who had experienced a few adverse events in their lives reported better mental health and well being than people with a history of frequent adversity and people with no history of misfortune. The study began after September 11, 2001 to test the notion of resilience- how successfully people adapt after exposure to stressful or potentially traumatic life events. Studies prior to this one have shown that adverse events, like sexual assault, homelessness and natural disasters, have generally been linked to poorer mental health outcomes. More adversity has generally predicted worse outcomes.

But Mark Seery says that the potential benefits of exposure to some adversity, relative to no adversity, have received less attention. His study shows that, under the right conditions, experiencing some adversity may foster resilience. Those subjects with a history of some lifetime adversity showed lower distress, fewer symptoms of post traumatic stress, and higher life satisfaction. The bottom line is that people are more resilient than we may think.

Who has not had some adversity? I thought that was just part of life. I have always thought that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger, and I see it proven time and time again by the men I meet at Taft. Some of them have lived a life filled with adversity, while others are facing real adversity for the first time. I put Ron in the latter category. Up until his problems which began in 2000, he had the normal stresses of an executive. His situation has definitely made him stronger, more resilient, and he feels if he can handle 17 months in prison he can handle most anything. I think often about the strength of the men that have been incarcerated for years. Ron's bunkie Dave has been incarcerated for many years. I don't know where he gets his strength from, but to keep positive and have a good attitude must be extraordinarily hard. I think about Michael Santos too, who has been incarcerated for over 23 years, still has a smile on his face everyday, still talks positively about his future, and works hard at maintaining structure and balance in his life. If you read his books or go to his website, www.michaelsantos.net, you will learn more about how he has come to turn his prison experience into something positive.

We think of adversity as a bad thing, yet some good can come from it. A more resilient individual may emerge, one ready to face the world with an "I can do anything attitude." Obviously too much adversity, such as POW's, holocaust survivors, and long term prison inmates, can create feelings of hopelessness and loss of control. Some degree of adversity can make us stronger. I know Ron has learned how to make lemonade out of lemons, and that his future looks bright.