Forty Ninth Visit to Taft

This is my last Monday morning post for 2010. I have written 49 blogs about my visits to Taft, my relationship with Ron and how our individual lives are evolving during this difficult time. Ron has been at Taft for 51 weeks. On the one hand it feels like years, on the other hand the time has flown. We both feel the same about this.

As I've said before, holiday time is often tough for inmates and families. The separation is extremely difficult. This year, however, was one of the most memorable holiday seasons I've experienced in a long time. Here's what made it so special. The people.

On December 23 I drove to Los Angeles in the afternoon. I was shocked by the amount of traffic at noon, two days before Christmas. I guess everyone had the same idea. Get out of town early. Anyway, I went to LA and had dinner with my mom and longtime friend Heinz. We went to a wonderful little place in Santa Monica called The Nook, which I will review at another time. Friday morning I drove to Taft alone. Carole wanted to go earlier, as her husband wanted her to spend the whole day with him. I mentioned that there would be big crowds at Taft on December 24, and that if she went early, she would probably be terminated to let later visitors into the visiting room. I showed up at 9:30 and was allowed to stay all day. Carole was there at 8:00 and unfortunately was terminated at 11:30am. What a disappointment. Well, she got to spend the afternoon shopping at the mall.

Santa Claus made an appearance, the lights on the tree shined, and everyone was was hugging, kissing and in the Christmas spirit. Ron was especially happy because both David and Brian, who live in LA, came to visit. We always have such a great time when the kids are around. My only regret was that Phil was not there. I think this was as happy as I've seen Ron in the past year.

Visiting was over and I drove the 40 minutes to Bakersfield, to the home of Rod and Linda. They helped make this such a special holiday for me. First, her home was decorated with trees, lights and love. Everything was beautiful. Linda had cooked an extra special meal. In fact, she made two scrumptous desserts since she couldn't decide which to make. With the help of Linda and Rod, Santa had left stockings for all of us, filled with small, personal gifts that were especially for each of us. It was like being a kid all over again. We all had a ball, ate our way into a sugar coma, then sat down to watch "The Company Men" which I had brought for our entertainment. It was only fair, but the food, company, gifts and holiday spirit made the evening one to remember.

The following morning I went back to Taft at 8:00 for another visit. This time I didn't care if my visit was terminated early, as I was going back to LA to have dinner with my Mom. Ron commented on how happy he was on Saturday. He had seen me, two of his kids, caught up on all the news about everyone else, and we'd had lots of time to talk about the future. Knowing our future is secure is helping him get through this experience. He is convinced now, through the help of some caring friends at Taft and friends and family on the outside, that he will be able to restart his life. I have full confidence in him. Him having confidence in himself is what makes him feel good. He has had so many years of people tearing him down and taking away from him, that it's hard to boost his ego. But I think he's getting there, and with his release date less than 5 1/2 months, he's still got time to work on self image.

I left Taft at noon on Christmas Day. There was a line out the door of visitors still waiting to get in. Carole and I stopped for coffee at Starbucks at the travel stop near Lebec, then I went back to LA, had a wonderful Italian dinner at Il Moro (I'll review another time) and arrived home at 8:30. A memorable couple of days, some great memories to close out 2010, which has been by anyone's standards a pretty bad year, and great optimisim for 2011 by both me and Ron. We'll see how it plays out. The one thing I know for sure is that nothing ever stays the same. Life is good for us now and I feel confident that by mid 2011 things will be great.