Fiftieth Visit to Taft

It's January 1, and yesterday was my last visit to Taft for 2010. Ron has approximately 150 days left to serve and lots of markers that will help the time go fast. We were talking yesterday and Ron mentioned that he just opened a new tube of toothpaste, the last one he will use at Taft. Funny, but just a few days ago I also opened a new tube of toothpaste, and thought to myself that when it was used up Ron would be home. It's so interesting how we both have our own ways of counting the remaining time, some the same, some different. Ron can tell you how many minutes, days, weeks and months. I can only tell you the number of weeks and months. Ron can tell you how many days left from my bithday in February, our anniversary in March and Philip's birthday in April. He can tell you that when he uses up his current batch of vitamins, he will be home. I can tell you that he'll be home when my jelly bean jar is empty. That's my measure, as I see it dwindlng every day.

What has Ron learned from this experience? He feels that the ability to be PATIENT is what he has finally gotten a grip on. Ron's a type A personality, always in motion, always wanting answers "Now," always wanting immediate results. Well, when you're in prison you learn to slow down. Time takes on a different meaning. There is no rush for anything, because there's no where to go. I may rush to finish a book to return to the library. He has no time constraints. He can read all day or not at all. When waiting in line for meals there is also no rush. The food's going to be there when he gets there and he has no place important to go. I remember going to restaurants with Ron in the past and if there was more than a 5 minute wait, Ron had a hard time waiting. It will be interesting so see if his new found patience will transfer to his life when he gets home. I think it will. He remembers and quotes often, some lines from a Seinfeld show, where Jerry wonders why everyone is always in such a hurry to get home. You're at a party and you've got to get home. For what? To get to sleep and get ready for the next day? You're at a movie and you're in a rush to get home. Why? What's the difference if you get home at 10:00 or 10:30? We're always in such a rush to get home, and for what? It was a funny bit when Jerry Seinfeld did it, and something we both think of often. The prison experience has given new meaning to this Seinfeld bit.

Last week Ron was sick for the first time since he's been at Taft. He had the flu shot, he takes vitamins, lots of Vitamin C and calcium, yet he still got sick. Luckily he's got friends there that took care of him. One brought him soup, another made him dinner. The person in charge of mail was nice enough to bring his mail to his cube, as he was sleeping in bed. People are kind. Ron has also learned that if you're kind and respectful to others, both inmates and Taft staff, you will also be treated with kindness and respect. I'll talk more about that at another time. Ron is feeling much better now, just a lingering cough. Thanks to those that helped make him comfortable while he was fighting the flu. His frieds were there for him when he needed them.