It's Been One Year

Today is January 11, 2011, exactly one year since my life changed forever. It was one year ago that I drove Ron to Taft, dropped him off and watched him walk through the double doors to start his new life, while I drove the 220 miles home to start my life without him. I remember clearly the empty feeling I had as I headed mindlessly down Copus Road on the way to I-5. I had a tape on and I couldn't tell you what was on if my life depended on it.

All the planning in the world doesn't prepare one for the emotional changes life has in store. Up until last year, I lived alone for about 3 months in my entire life. (that was between marriage #1 and the time I met Ron). I am used to having someone around all the time. In addition, I usually have had one or two dogs at all times. Wow. How different life is without someone to talk to, share ideas with, eat and sleep with, and without a dog who's always there when you come home and will cheer you up, regardless of your mood. Barney, my companion for 18 years, was euthanized two days after Ron was incarcerated. It was like a one-two punch.

But I survived. Ron survived. In fact, I can even say we have both thrived. He has gotten his health in check and has spent a very introspective year going through his entire life and reviewing the circumstances that led to his incarceration. He has learned much about himself, about other people, about life. I too have thrived. I have learned to negotiate leases, pay bills, handle finances and enjoy a full life by myself. According to my calculations, I have only about 140 more days of life as I now know it.

What will life be like when Ron returns? I hope it will be as fantastic as we both anticipate. I know it will be different than it was before, as we have both changed, we have both grown. My guess is that this experience will make our new life together even better. On the one year anniversary of Ron's incarceration I am reflecting on all that has happened this year. Barney died, twins Spencer and Ryan were born, David changed jobs, I took a trip with my Mom. All these events seem ages ago at times, and then I think about them and it seems like they happened just last week.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change. That is a given. I'm looking forward to a change in June, a change for the good.