Greg Mortenson: Fact or Fiction

Several years ago Greg Mortenson became of hero of mine. I read his book Three Cups of Tea, in which he recounts his failed attempt to climb Mt. Kilaminjaro, and the events that followed which ultimately led to his life's work, building schools for girls in Afghanistan. The book was truly inspirational. The son of a minister, Greg grew up in many far away countries, saw poverty and illiteracy, and wanted to do something about it. He began a foundation that raised money to build the schools in Afghanistan, began speaking nationwide about the mission of his foundation, and even testified before congress regarding the building of the schools and the need for our military to understand the culture of the areas in which they are fighting.

Then in April, 2011, along comes 60 Minutes with an investigative piece on Greg Mortenson, his schools and his foundation. According to the piece on 60 Minutes, much of what Greg Mortenson said and did is not true. How he was captured by the Talliban and held hostage is disputed, the number of schools he has actually built is now in question, and how he wandered into a small village after his failed attempt at climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro is also in question. One of his strongest critics is Jon Krakauer, the author of such books as Into the Wild and Under the Banner of Heaven. He is an author whom I greatly admire, so I hate to think that he's not telling the truth. Something is wrong somewhere. It's hard to imagine that 60 Minutes would do such a story without triple checking their facts. I am so disappointed.

You think someone is one to look up to and you find out they're not really what they say they are. Did Greg just exaggerate to make the story more interesting? Perhaps, but when you are telling a story as truth, you cannot do that. I want to believe that Mortenson's intentions were honorable. I don't want to believe that he did this all for money. I don't think we've heard the last of this, because if the story that CBS told the public is indeed true, his foundation will probably be investigated.

It's sad that we have to be so skeptical of everything today. When someone wins an Olympic Medal we question whether they were on drugs, with good reason. Over and over again we see that athletes in the Olympics, bicycling, baseball and football are superperforming because of drugs. We look up to these heroes, and then they fall. This is what happened in the case of Greg Mortenson. I looked up to him as someone who had dedicated his life to helping Afghan women, only to find out that everthing he said may not be true. It shakes your confidence. Who can you believe anymore?

Pain Tolerance and Aging

A few weeks ago I went for an MRI on my left knee. This was the third MRI I have had on my knee in less than three years. I've been complaining for years about the pain in my knee, yet with physical therapy, injections and massage, it is not any better. The doctors keep telling me I have arthritis (just like everyone else my age), yet I know this pain is something more. Finally, the films discovered a complex radial tear of the meniscus with several other issues. The doctor feels confident that I will will feel 60%-90% better with surgery, so I'm going to do it. I was telling Fran about the surgery because I walk with her often, and she said she thinks I have a high pain tolerance. This got me thinking, do I really have a high pain tolerance?

I found out some interesting statistics. Men have a higher pain tolerance than women. Whites have a higher pain tolerance than either Blacks or Asians. The most interesting statistic was that as we age, our pain tolerance decreases. What you might have tolerated well at age 40 may hurt like hell at age 70. Then there's the drama queen factor. Some of us are stoic, smile and just keep on going. Others complain about everything and focus only on our pain. So it's hard to know if the drama queen really has more pain than the silent sufferer.

I told my doctor that I have pretty good genes. My dad lived to 93, my mom is almost 88 and in good health, so I plan to be around for awhile. I don't like the fact that I'm in constant pain, and even though I don't complain, I still hurt. There's only so much one can tolerate and I don't want to get into taking massive amounts of Aleve. (although it really does help). So surgery it will be. I don't intend to give up golf, yoga, aerobics, walking or boogie boarding anytime soon, and I have confidence that Dr. Padilla will lessen my pain.

Aging is a difficult process, certainly not without a lot of aches and pains. I think the key to living well into your 80's and 90's and maintaing an active life style, is to realize what is doable for you. I know that I'll never do another step class, although that used to be one of my favorite activites. Low impact aerobics and walking have replaced step. I'm modifying my activity as I age. It's sometimes tough to accept that we can't do the things we once could, but I'm inspired everyday when I go to the Y and see 90+ aged men and women swimming, walking on the treadmill and working with weights. Every decade of life has something new to offer, some good and some bad. It's too bad we can't physically do what we once could, but there's so much that we still can do. I try to look at the positive, and I know that removing the pain from my left knee/leg will enhance my workouts and keep me active. That's so important to me.

Last Drive to Taft

I am writing this blog in advance of my last drive to Taft, which will take place early on July 27. On that day, Ron will be awakened at about 3am to get him ready for release. I will pick him up just where I dropped him off 18 1/2 months ago, at the main prison, not the camp. At 3am he will get all his belongings together and then get ready to do whatever paperwork is involved. I can't imagine how all this could take 4 hours, but that's what they do. He won't have much to bring with him, as he plans to give most everything away. That's what the men do. He's got 2 pair of shoes, so he will give the better pair to someone who needs them. It's the same for his clothes. The prison gives him old clothes (jeans and a t-shirt) to walk out in. When he arrived at Taft, his clothes were taken and saved for someone else when they left. I must say, Taft is in to recycling!!! He will give away his little radio, and whatever else he may have acquired while there. He will have just a small box of letters, books, cards, and mementos. At 7am I will arrive at the prison and pick him up. I will have HIS clothes waiting for him in the car. His favorite jeans, a clean t-shirt and a sweatshirt. I will bring 2 pairs of jeans for him as he really doesn't know what size he will wear. Then we'll be off to Denny's about 30 minutes away, for a nice breakfast.

By the time you read this, if you get it in the morning, we'll be dining at Denny's. I never thought I'd say that I'd be looking forward to breakfast at Denny's but you have no idea how much I am. After breakfast we will drive to Carlsbad, pick up Ron's overnight bag for the halfway house, have a quick lunch (a burger or ribs, his choice), then it's on to the halfway house. He expects to be there no more than 2 nights, but as I've learned over the past years, everything is subject to change, so we'll take it as we go.

I wonder how our ride home will be. Will he want to call everyone he knows to say hello? Will he just want to relax and spend the time with me? I don't know, and I don't think he knows. All I do know is that with just a few days to go, he is so excited to come home he can hardly stand it. I can't even imagine how hard the waiting is. When you're there for 18 months you don't think about coming home everyday, but when you're down to the last little bit, that's all you think about.

So here we are, starting the next phase of our lives, and I can hardly wait to see what's in store for us. It's all good from now on.

Flo's Good Lemon Bars

Named after my mom's friend Florence, the following recipe for lemon bars is the best I've ever had. Our family has been making them for at least 30 years, and I have yet to taste a better lemon bar. Better yet, they're easy to make. I think the difference between these bars and others I've tasted is in the crust. This crust has powdered sugar in it, which is unusual. I hope you like them as much as I do.

Flo's Good Lemon Bars

Crust

1 c. butter (cool)
2 c. flour
1/2 c. powdered sugar
pinch of salt

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl. Butter will crumble like little peas, then press dough into a 9inch X13inch baking dish and bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees

Filling

4 eggs
2 c. sugar
6 T. lemon juice
2 T flour
1 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
zest of at least 1 lemon (depending on your taste. I like a lot, maybe 2 T of zest)

Beat above ingredients and pour into half baked crust. Bake for 35 minutes at 350 degrees. Check to make sure the crust doesn't start to burn.

When bars are completely cool, sprinkle with powdered sugar and cut into squares. I usually freeze them in a cookie tin, layering with wax paper so they don't stick. They'll last for ages...

Eightieth Visit to Taft

Sunday was my last visit to Taft, and my only Sunday visit in over 18 months. I decided early on that I wanted to see Ron every week, and Friday was the only visiting day that would allow me to do that. I missed last Friday because of Carmegeddon, so I went Sunday, just a few days before his release.

Ron looked great, sun tanned and smiling, with a nice short haircut. I was so happy to see him. Sunday visits at Taft are very different than Fridays. There are a lot of families, lots of kids, lots of noise. I much prefer Fridays, and am glad I don't have to go anymore on ANY day. Extra chairs were brought in to accomodate everyone, so we were all close together. I did not like it. Neither did Ron, and I ended up only staying a little over 3 hours. Just enough time for us to talk about what we need to do when he gets home. First, I'm turning over the bill paying to him, so I brought him up to date on what I've done while he's been gone. Then we will talk about our future. Work, where we'll live, etc. So much to think about.
Ron said he was a little on edge. He's so excited about coming home, but he has some people at Taft that he cares a great deal about that he's leaving behind, more than likely most he will never see again. In the visiting room there were lots of good byes (by me) to the men who I will not see again. Ron shares something with these men that we cannot understand. I share something with their wives or mothers or daughters that no one else can understand.

I've told you again and again that one of the things Ron took comfort in at Taft was that there was no violence or fear of violence. I spoke too soon. Just a week before his release came the first physical fight in all the time he's been at Taft. It was a knock down, drag out fight, with both fighters getting hurt. The punishment: 5 years added to each of their sentences, 6 months in the hole (isolation), and transfer to a medium prison. What was the fight about? What TV show they should watch!!

Ron has learned how to cook a few items with the limited ingredients available at Taft, but other more creative types have concocted cheese cake, pizza and Chinese stir fry. Last week Ron had the Taft version of mango ice cream, which he absolutely loved. It's a mixture of coffee creamer, Kool Aid powder, ice cubes and dried mango which is reconstituted and pureed. The mixture is combined and frozen (kitchen workers have access to a freezer). Ron said it was just delicious.

Well, that's all folks. This journey, although one I happily would have missed, has enriched my life in so many ways. I feel I have deeper empathy for people in general, especially for prisoners and their families. I have a greater belief in myself and what I can accomplish. I have a greater love for my husband, knowing what he has gone through and his strength. Finally, I have no fear of the future and what challenges we will face. I truly believe we can tackle anything. I know that none of us really know our limitations until we are faced with them. Challenges await us both, but we'll be able to tackle them together. I'm planning to continue to make my Monday blogs related to our Taft experience. Ron will write some, I'll write others. He has much to say, most of which he could not talk about while incarcerated. It should be interesting.

Why Is Everything So Complicated?

Many of us have alarm systems on our homes, and dutifully pay the fee to the alarm company every month, plus money to the city once a year for a license. My mom has had the same alarm company for 30 years, and has been paying fees to them for all that time. A few weeks ago Chayo, my mom's housekeeper/companion set off the alarm by accident, and did not know how to call the alarm company to tell them it was a false alarm.

The alarm company sent out the police, ready to deal with a bulgary or robbery. They got to the house and were told it was a false alarm. I think this was the first time this had happened to my mom in all these years.

A few days later my mom received a letter in the mail saying she owed $147 to the alarm company for having them send out police on a false alarm. My mom was very upset over this charge as it was an accident, and here's what the alarm company told her. They would waive the fine if she took an "Alarm Exam." That's a new one to me. They sent her a test with 9 questions regarding operation of the alarm system, and if she got 7 of the questions correct, she would not have to pay the fine. Honest, I'm not making this up. All the answers were right there on the paper they sent her, so all she had to do was read the paper and find the answers. I thought this was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever heard, but I realize that most people will just pay the fine, and of those that call and complain, most will not take the trouble to complete the test, so it's easy money for the alarm company. Another complication of life, and another way of companies making more money because of lazy customers.

Another example of how we have to stay on top of everything. Recently I went online to change my form of payment from automatic credit card to pay by check for Direct TV. I waited and waited for my Direct TV bill to come, but I did not receive it. Finally I got an e-mail notification saying my bill was past due and I must pay right away, plus a $4.50 late fee. I called them and explained that I had not received a bill and that I was sending a check right away, but that I wanted the $4.50 late fee reversed. I got it done, but it's another example of how complicated things are today. They want you to go online to make changes, but then they don't follow through on their end. Then the customer gets a late fee and has to try to get it reversed.

It's so hard in these difficult economic times to stay within your budget. Businesses make it even more difficult by dinging you for every little thing they can. We as consumers have to check each bill and make sure we are not getting charged for something we didn't buy or do, and if we did, complaining about it. Sometimes I think that just keeping up with bills, inquiries, and especially medical stuff (which I don't even want to go into), is a full time job.

Del Mar Lemon Cake

When I first moved to the San Diego area in 2000, I was told about the famous Del Mar Lemon Cake. Ron and I bought an old house in Del Mar, tore it to the ground, and rebuilt a beautiful home in the heart of old Del Mar. I can't remember who first told me about the famous lemon cake, but I made it for the first time about 10 years ago, and instantly loved it. I am a lemon freak. I love anything lemon. In fact, I recently made some delicious lemon curd which I intended to use as a filling on crepes I had made and frozen. Unfortunately the lemon curd was gone before I got to use it for the crepes. A little taste here, a little taste there, over about three days, and the lemon curd was gone. That's dangerous stuff for me to keep around.

Back to the lemon cake. Recently our book club member Pat, hosted our book discussion, and one of the tasty items she served was Del Mar Lemon Cake. Oh boy, it was good. I can't wait to make it again. It's so moist and lemony you will just love it. She sent me the recipe, and here it is for all to have. I have never frozen it, but I think it will freeze well. Cut it into squares, let it cool, then freeze. I hope you enjoy it.


Del Mar Lemon Cake

1 3-oz package lemon Jello
1 package yellow cake mix with pudding
3/4 cup water
4 eggs
2/3 cup canola oil

Mix ingredients together and pour into a 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake at 350 for about 40 minutes. While the cake is baking, grate the rind from and juice two lemons. Mix with powdered sugar. When you remove the cake from the oven, take a long-tined fork and pierce the cake all over. Pour the lemon/sugar glaze over the hot cake.

Glaze
zest of 2 lemons
juice of 2 lemons
2 cups powdered sugar, sifted

Enjoy!
( cake can be made in either a bundt pan or rectangle pyrex pan. I prefer it in the pan, then cut into squares. You get more lemon flavor.)

It's Del Mar Racing Season Again

This week marks the opening of another season of thoroughbred racing at Del Mar. It's one of America's favorite tracks, due to the party like atmosphere and the beach scene nearby. Go on opening day and you'll see gorgeous women dressed to the nines, and some pretty good looking men. These people are here for the "scene" rather than for the horses. I've been coming to Del Mar for years, and as a horse lover and former owner of thoroughbreds, opening day was always my least favorite day. I preferred the quiet days when you could concentrate on the real stars of Del Mar, the horses.

All horses are not winners, in fact very few horses pay their way. The cost to keep a horse in training is a minimum of $100 per day, if he doesn't get sick or injured. That means a horse has to win more than $4000 a month just to break even. ( you have to pay jockey fees everytime a horse runs, and pay a percentage of your winnings to the jockey too). Horses can only run every 4-6 weeks, at most. So what happens to all the horses that either don't make it as race horses because of lack of ability or injury? You may have heard in years gone by of the thousands of thoroughbreds that were slaughtered each year. Laws have been passed and many sanctuaries for retired thoroughbreds exist throughout the world, but the slaughterhouses still exist. A horse that can't pay his bills is often "gotten rid of." What does this mean? In most cases today it means finding a suitable home for the horse. We gave many horses away to young girls that would retrain them as hunter/jumpers. We gave many to UC Davis where they would rehabilitate them and then sell them. We also gave many back to the breeders who had raised them. One special horse, Peach Flat, who won many races for us, was sent to his breeder in Northern California, to live out his life. But to some less humanitarian owners "get rid of" could mean a slaughterhouse in Mexico or Japan. Here's a quick story about the fate of two very famous American race horses.

Exceller was one of the most famous race horses in the l970's. He was orginally owned by Nelson Bunker Hunt. He is most famous for beating Seattle Slew in 1974. He won hundreds of thousands of dollars, which was a lot of money at that time. His stud record was unremarkable, and was sold to a man in Sweeden who was trying to get into the thoroughbred industry.People lost track of Exceller, until The Daily Racing Form decided to do a "whatever happened to" story on Exceller. The reporter was three months to late. The Swedish owner had financial reversals, and owning Exceller became a liability, so he sent him to the slaughterhouse. I remember when this happened. The racing world was outraged, and I assume people with no interest in racing were shocked too. There were some laws that were passed to prohibit this type of thing from happening, but it didn't stop the practice.

In the 1980's, Fernindand won the Kentucky Derby. He was, like Exceller, one of the most famous horses of his decade, but did not do well in the breeding shed. He earned millions of dollars, but the big bucks are in breeding. When he didn't do well breeding, he was sold and shipped to Japan. He too, was sent to a slaughterhouse.

I love horseracing, but there is a very ugly side to it that has not been erased. Yes, slaughterhouses in America have been significantly reduced, but they still exist. These horses give their owners and trainers their all, and when they can no longer race, should be retired or retrained with respect. Many farms and many people are rescuing retired horses from a horrible fate, and I applaud them for their hard work. CERF, California Equine Retirement Foundation, is just one of the many groups working to give retired thoroughbreds the life they deserve. These are magnificant animals that deserved to retire, not be slaughtered.

Sleep On It And Become A Better Problem Solver

The title of this blog is a bit misleading, but new experiments suggest that if you've got a big decision to make, sleeping on is good advice. The study found that people did a better job of learning a game when they got some sleep afterward. The research doesn't prove that sleep will help you learn more, but it does provide evidence that your brain doesn't just rest and dream when you're asleep. It appears that the brain may also be reviewing the day's events and processing them.

You might think it is common sense that people would perform a task better after getting some sleep, but the new study is uniques because it looks at people who had a brief chance to learn something. Some slept after learning the game, others stayed awake. The research found that 80% of those who slept after learning the game were able to figure out the trick to the game, while 40% of those who stayed awake figured out the trick.

So what's going on? The brain appears to process what it's learned during sleep. It's filing it away, in an organized fashion. So the next time you learn a new task, sleep on it. According to this study, the information will be processed during sleep. The fact of the matter is that there's much more going on in our brain during sleep than just rest and dreaming. We're actually processing the events of the day and filing them in the ultimate filing cabinet, the brain.

Seventy Ninth Visit to Taft

I thought I would be able to visit Ron every Friday of his incarceration, but no, now man has gotten in the way. A few months ago we had a family day planned at Taft that got snowed out. I was in LA, on my way to Taft, when Ron called to tell me the event was cancelled. Natural causes prevented us from getting there safely. Now, along comes "Carmegeddon." That's what the media called the shutdown of the 405 freeway for 53 hours this past weekend. They closed a 10 mile stretch of the freeway in order to remove a bridge at Mulholland Dr. I knew I would have no problem getting to Taft, but coming home could have been a big problem, so I opted not to go visit Ron on Friday. As it turned out, everyone heeded the Cal Trans warning and stayed home, and traffic was very light. So, I missed 2 visits, one caused my nature, the other by man. I will make my last visit on Sunday, July 24. So we really didn't have a 79th visit, however we spent quite a bit of time on the phone. It's just not the same.

I'm getting a little anxious and very excited. It's hard to describe. I just want it to be here. It seems that time is passing so slowly. I have done everything I can to keep busy and active, hoping that will make time pass. Keeping busy helps, but it's not enough. A day at the beach, a long walk, or an evening of bridge are the activities that distract me. Ron, however, has little distraction. Taft administrators have taken him off work for the last two weeks, so that they can get the bookkeeping on him wrapped up. I guess it takes time for them to figure it all out. At 12 cents an hour Ron only wanted to continue working to keep busy, but they don't allow him to work or purchase any items from the commissary for the last two weeks. It was about 2 weeks ago that Ron called and told me it all seemed real to him now. They said he was "pending release." That was when time started progressing at a snail's pace. We're down to single digits now, so the end is near. At least he's got his WSJ to read everyday and the track to walk if it's not too hot, and a few interesting men to talk to that have kept him sane.

This week I will be making a big shopping trip to purchase foods that he wants in the house. Lox, cream cheese and bagels are at the top of his list. Sounds good to me. I've already got his clothes ready for my final trip. I will arrive at 7am at the main prison, with his clothes in hand. He'll change there and then walk out with his little box of "stuff." I have brought pants in 2 sizes, as I'm not sure what's going to fit. Then it's off to Denny's for bacon and eggs, just the two of us.

Caterpillars, Caterpillars Everywhere

Remember to look up sometimes, it's amazing what you might see. I was in my backyard the other day, watering my little vegetable garden, and I noticed little black pellets the size of peppercorns all over the ground. What on earth could they be? They were caterpillar poop.

I had a similar run in with caterpillars when we first moved into this house. I didn't realize I had an infestation of caterpillars until they were crawling up the outside walls. Then I looked up to see that the creatures, cute as they are, had stripped the tree of every single leaf. The caterpillar poop was everywhere and the tree had to be sprayed and cut back. Amazingly it's been two years and the tree has grown back and is healthy. I guess the caterpillars don't remember what happened to their relatives last time they went to work on my tree. They all ended up dead.

I called my gardener today and he will be out to spray the the little suckers on Monday. It sounds cold hearted, but I'll be happy to see them dead. My backyard is a mess, and with beautiful weather for barbeques, I'd like to be able to sit outside without a pile of caterpillar poop. I hope they get the memo this time. Don't come into Susie's yard.

Shake Up Your Workout

Exercise is one of the best things you can do for both your body and mind, but make sure you're putting all that energy to work in the best possible way. I often find that when I've been doing the same exercise (it could be a particular route I walk or a weight training routine) that I get bored. My mind is bored, and my muscles are too. Here are a few ways to shake up your workout to make sure you are getting the most benefit from your efforts.

When you do the same activity day after day, week after week, both your mind and body get bored. I do both solitary and group exercise, and both get old after a while. I am always looking for new ways to keep exercise interesting. So to keep your body and mind interested in working out, change things. Try a hike instead of your your regular walking route. Go to a different neighborhood to walk for a change. Take different classes at the gym. Your body will respond positively to this change, and so will your mind.

Make sure that you balance your cardio exercise with resistance training. It's so easy to jump on the bike or treadmill for 30 minutes and consider that a great workout. No, it's really not. Most of us don't push ourselves on these machines, we just sort of go through the motions. It's important to combine cardio with a high intensity, total body resistance routine to really get results. A study at Skidmore College found that people who combined both resistance training and cardio lost twice as much belly fat over a 12 week period as those that followed a moderate intensity cardio plan.

We've all been told that long, slow workouts are good for us, especially as we age. Well, they are good, but they are not the fat burning exercise you may want. In order to burn fat you need to turn the brisk walk into one where part of the time you are doing intervals, that is, going faster and getting your heart rate up. You will burn more calories overall and definitely more fat.

The tips I just gave you come from Prevention Magazine, and I read this at just the right time. For the past week I have been struggling to exercise, watching the clock during my workouts, and in general, not really enjoying my normal exercise routine. Now I know why. I have to change my program a bit, so my muscles don't get lazy, so I don't get bored. One of my resistance trainers has been telling me for months about the spinning class and how much she loves it. I am going to give it a try. It is the best workout you can imagine, yet I have always resisted doing it. I will try it this week. I am also going to try another strength training class, as the one I take now is getting routine. I need to mix it up enough. Maybe all this talk about changing my exercise program will also motivate me to be more careful about what I eat. I watched a new show last night about people who lose a lot of weight in one year and transform themselves. If that program doesn't motivate you, then I don't know what will.

Book Recommendations

I love to read. I always have several books on my nightstand, and I'm always getting recommendations from friends on new books to read. The trouble is, I forget to write down the name of the recommendations, then I can't recommend them. So, I decided to ask some of my friends that I know love to read what their 2 favorite books were in the past few years. The list that follows is the result. I'm sorry if you're a reader and I didn't ask you. I can always make a supplementary list late on to cover more great books. So here's the list. Happy reading.


Book Recommendations July, 2011


1. Susie- Montana 1948, Larry Watson, Strange Fits of Passion, Anita Shreve

2. Jan - Wench, Dolen Perkins-Valdez

3. Michael- Crossing to Safety, Wallace Stegner 1987, A Soldier of the Great War, Mark Helprin 1992.

4. Debbie V- The Invisible Bridge, Julie Orringer, Zeitoun, David Eggers

5. Linda L- Oryx and Crake, Margaret Atwood, Knockout, Suzanne Sommers

6. Lorna- The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, David Mitchell, The End of the Land, David Grossman.

7. Laurie- Roses, Leila Meacham, Firefly Lane, Kristin Hannah

8. Dot- The Invisible Bridge, Julie Orringer, The Forgotten Garden, Kate Morton

9. Judy C.- Unbroken, Laura Hillenband, Cleopatra, Stacy Schiff

10. Shary-Still Alice, Olive Kittridge, Room,

11.Christie-Saving Cee Cee Honeycutt, Beth Hoffman, City of Thieves, David Benioff

12. Barbara H.-Children of Fire, Ursula Heigi, Garlic and Saphires, Ruth Reichel

13. Jill-Ramona, Helen Hunt Jackson, The Distant Land of My Father, Bo Caldwell

14. Carol S.- Bright Shiny Morning, James Frey

15. Sandi- Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, Susanna Clarke, Truman, David McCullough

16. Debbie S.-Body and Soul, Frank Conroy, The Time Travellers Wife, Niffenegger

17. Joyce-Let the Great World Spin, Calum McCann, The Hare with Amber Eyes, Edmund de Waal

18. Marilyn K.-The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, Jamie Ford, The Book Thief, Markus
Zusak

19. Anne-The Tiger’s Wife, Tea Obreht, The Tiger, John Vaillant.

20. Barbara J.- The Lacuna, Barbara Kingsolver, Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand, Helen Simonson

21. Barbara B-Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ, Daniel Goleman, Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell.

22. Karen-The Art of Racing in the Rain

23. Linda M.-What is the What, Dave Eggers, The Chaneysville Incident, David Bradley

24. Suzanne-The Tender Bar, J.R. Moehringer, Sara’s Key, Tatiana de Rosnay

25. Cindy- Caleb’s Crossing, Geraldine Brooks, Matterhorn, Karl Marlantes

26. Regina-Life of Pi, Yan Martel, The Shack, William P. Young

27. Vilia-The Guernsey Literary and Potato Pie Society, Maryanne Shaffer and Annie Barrows

28. Kay-Winter Garden, Hannah, What the Dog Say

29. Dorothy-A Conspiracy of Paper, David Liss, Ministry of Special Cases, Nathan Englander

30. Carole M.- The Reluctant Fundamentalist, Mohasin Hamid, Tortilla Curtain, T.C. Boyle.

Orris: Sharing Food With the Ones You Love in Los Angeles

In ancient times, the root of the iris plant, the orris, was mixed with cinnamon and was thought to be a love potion. So when Chef Shiro was looking for a name for his new restaurant in 2004, he came up with Orris. It means sharing plates with the ones you love. It's a perfect name for food that you know is lovingly prepared to perfection.

Chef Shiro is the owner and inspiration behind the restaurant. He was born in Okinawa, Japan, but has been in California for more than 30 years. He cooked at Ma Maison under Wolfgang Puck, Les Anges, and Cafe Jacoulet in Pasadena. In 1986 he opened Restaurant Shiro, named for many years one of the city's top 10 establishments. Orris opened in 2004 and I'm happy to say that 7 years later, I found it.

One night my mom and I were going to dinner, and we both felt like dining on small plates. It's one of my favorite ways to dine, as you can have a little bit of several wonderful dishes. Every dish at Orris is a work of art, and a delight to the palate. In all, we tried 5 dishes on the night of our first visit. Here's what we ate:

Beets with Basque sheep milk cheese and balsamic sauce, grilled romaine with parmesan dressing, basil marinated black cod, with basil mashed potatoes, Japanese eggplant dish, and a chef speciality, little potato pancake, carmelized onions, smoked salmon and salmon roe. My two favorite dishes were the beet and the salmon, but everything was beautifully presented and delicious. Other items on the menu include shrimp mousse ravioli, lamb loin carpaccio, prime filet mignon on a skewer with roquefort butter, asparagus salade with tomato bruschetta, albacore lettuce cups, and seared ahi sashimi.

The restaurant is in Los Angeles, at 2006 Sawtelle Blvd. This street in Santa Monica has become a mecca for Asian and Asian fusion restaurants. There must be 25 restaurants in a 3 block area. It's a fun area to walk around after dinner, have a yogurt, and shop in some of the Asian shops. They have Shabu-Shabu, Korean, Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese and Chinese restaurants, in addition to Asian fusion restaurants. Orris is a fusion restaurant, and the food is so unique and so exquisitely presented that you will be ooo-ing and aw-ing as each dish is served. Big eaters will have to order a few more dishes to fill up, but that's even better. More variety and more great tastes. We did not opt for dessert, but the people next to us had a gorgeous apple tart with ice cream for dessert. The restaurant was packed when we arrived at 7pm and packed when we left at 9pm. Dishes range from $5-$16. Our bill for the 2 of us with out drinks, was around $40. I highly recommend this restaurant for the adventurous eater with a passion for good food. You can spend much more money at very trendy expensive restaurants for inspired food like this, but you won't find anything better. I hope you get an opportunity to try it.

Seventy Eight Visit to Taft

I will not be seeing Taft's visiting room on a Friday, ever again. Last Friday was it for Friday visits. I can't believe it's here. There were many "congratulations" on Friday from inmates and their families who would never see me again. They were all so happy for Ron's release, and most are waiting patiently for their own return to society. I have only 1 more visit left, the Sunday before I pick up Ron. I will not be visiting him the weekend of July 15-17. The 405 Freeway will be closed for 56 hours and traffic is expected to be a nightmare. I will stay home.

Ron was walking around camp in a zombie like state last week, when he stopped to talk to Greg, who is getting out the week after Ron. Greg said that most people had said that he, too, had been in a stupor for the past month. What was it about seeing the finish line that made time pass so slowly and life be so boring? Greg called it "release anxiety." I think that's a great term, because things really do change for the inmates as their release date nears. Anxiety is definitely part of what they feel, but they also feel fear, excitement and stress. Even if they've only been incarcerated a short time, a year or less, they have an uncertain future, which causes great anxiety. Will the relationship with their wife have changed? Will the kids be embarrassed by them? Will they be able to work? Will friends and family want them around? These are the kind of things that go through their minds. You can reassure someone that their fear or anxiety is unwarranted, but that doesn't make it any less real to them.

I met Ron's new bunkie, Ernesto, on Friday. His family came to visit him from Bakersfield. Ron's old bunkie Michael, was moved a few weeks ago, and Ernesto moved in about 2 weeks ago. He is a farm worker from Bakersfield, or so Ron thinks. He speaks NO English, and I mean none, so the communication is accomplished through sign language, interpreters, and pictures in magazines. Ernesto has lived all his 40 years in the U.S., yet he speaks no English. Hard to imagine, and it puts him at a huge disadvantage in everything he does. While in the visiting room, he was breaking rule after rule. Why? He didn't know the rules because he doesn't speak the language. Unless someone translates for him, he doesn't know what's going on. They teach GED and ESL at Taft, but he is not taking either class. He's a very nice guy, or so Ron says, but he really doesn't have a chance. All I heard from him was "hola" and "I don't speak English."

One friend of mine who I've gotten to know a little over these past months, came up to Ron and congratulated him, then asked him what the first thing was that he planned to do when he got out. He said "You mean the second thing?" (the first thing they all want to do is pretty well understood and doesn't even have to be said). The second thing will be to eat a steak. Carole spoke to me today and said she was going to miss me, and I wished her well and hoped that her visits would be coming to an end soon, too.

Jave, an orderly (Taft inmate) who works in the visiting room on Fridays, is a favorite of mine that I will miss. I always enjoy talking to him. He's so young, around 28, and has been incarcerated for several years. He will be getting out in about 2 years, but he's got such a great attitude, a book in his hand and smile on his face. He loves the horses, and we always talk horses when I see him. I hope he makes it.

With few exceptions, I will never see any of these people again. Once Ron gets out and we get back to our lives I believe most of Taft will be left behind. However, as Ron says, he hopes he doesn't forget his experience or the people. He feels it's very important NOT to forget. I agree.

The Importance of Friends

With Ron coming home in just a few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the past 18 months and what they have meant to me. Certainly learning to live on my own was a big challenge, but I also found out how important friends are. Having just finished reading The Blue Zones, which I obnoxiously go around quoting all the time, I have scientific evidence that having a network of friends helps create love and support which can increase longevity. Now you know one of the reasons that women typically live longer than men. It's their network of friends, the knitting circle, the morning coffees together, or the occasional sushi dinners.

Earlier in my life I had a nice network of friends, but a small network. Back in high school I had my circle of friends. We were not the "in" crowd, but we had a strong connection that felt comfortable to me. During the middle years of my life, from 25-55, I also had a small network of friends. I liked it this way. It was really all I could handle at the time. Then we moved to the San Diego area, and I had only 1 friend (thank you Cyrelle) until I got involved in Newcomers of San Dieguito. In a short time I had developed some strong friendships, and through the years I have met many wonderful men and women. The importance of these men and women in my life over the past 18 months cannot be diminished. They're there when I need them, to listen, to offer advice, to sometimes tell me I'm wrong. I appreciate all their help more than you can possibly know.

Now my journey without Ron is ending, but the friendships certainly aren't. You may not see much of me for a few weeks. Ron and I have some catching up to do, but after that you'll see me just as you always have, at the bridge club, book club, beach, or at a restaurant. Thanks, friends, for making this journey as good as it could be.

Marshmallow Heaven

Thank you Marcia, for sending me the heavenly recipe for homemade marshmallows. I debated as to whether to make them or not. It seemed like a lot of work for something that I could buy so cheaply. But curiousity got the best of me, and on a recent Saturday afternoon, I made them. I was not disappointed. They were spectacular. I took the batch to a boat party the following day, and everyone raved about them. They were good, but I'm not sure I will make them again anytime soon. They're quite a bit of work.

I'll tell you one funny thing that happened while I was making them if you promise not to laugh. You too will get old and forgetful someday. It's important to let the marshmallows dry, uncovered, overnight, or they will be a gooey mess. Well, I have had a rat problem in my house from time to time, so I never leave anything out. So I put the tray of marshmallows on top of the TV in the living room. I decided to take a picture of them for this blog, so I put the tray on the dining room table, took the picture, and left them there overnight. The next morning I went looking for the marshmallows and could not find them anywhere. I absolutely could not remember where I had put them. I was completely baffled and thought I had lost my mind. If you knew how small my house is you would wonder how this was possible. I was looking in the bathroom, laundry room, everywhere. Finally, I just happened to walk by the dining room table, and there they were, right where I left them. Oh, the wonders of getting old.

Homemade Marshmallows with Coconut

Ingredients

7 ounces sweetened shredded coconut, toasted (on baking sheet in over until just toasted)
1 recipe Homemade Marshmallow batter, recipe follows
Confectioners' sugar

Directions

Sprinkle half the toasted coconut in an 8X12 pyrex pan. Pour in the marshmallow batter and smooth batter with wet hands. Sprinkle on the remaining toasted coconut. Let dry overnight, uncovered, at room temperature. Remove the marshmallows after cutting into squares. Roll the sides of each piece in confectioners' sugar (in case they weren't sweet enought!). Store uncovered at room temperature.

Marshmallow batter

3 packs unflavored gelatin
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1tablespoon pure vanilla extract

Combine the gelatin and 1/2 cup cold water in a bowl and allow to sit and dissolve while you make the syrup

Meanwhile, combine the sugar, corn syrup, salt and 1/2 cup water in a saucepan and cook over medium heat until the sugar dissolves. Raise the heat to high and cook until the syrup reaches 240 degrees on a candy thermometer. Remove from heat.

With the mixer on low speed, slowly pour the sugar syrup into the dissolved gelatin. Put the mixer on high speed and whip until the mixture is very thick, about 15 minutes. Add the vanilla and mix thoroughly.

I'ts quite a lot of fuss to make these, but you'll get raves. They really are delicious.

Fear of Falling

Several weeks ago Lynda asked me to blog about the rate of seniors in hospitals. I'm still researching that. I can't find exactly what she asked about, but I do have some interesting information on seniors and falling. Anyone who has an older parent knows the fear of falling among seniors. Falls are the leading cause of injury and death among the aging population. As age increases the risk for falls and related injuries also increases.

Risk factors for falls include arthritis, depression, impaired cognition, vision, balance and strength, and the use of multiple medications. These factors increase both the incidence of falls but also the severity. Severe falls resulting in hospitalization expose seniors to infections and pneumonia, increasing mortality risk. During the year following a fall, the increase in mortality for seniors is significant.

Rates of falls among seniors aged 65 or older, range from four to ten falls per 100 individuals annually. The greatest proportion of seniors hospitalized for falls were those aged 75-84 (45%) followed by those aged 85 and older (34%) and those 65-74 (21%). The hospitalization rates among seniors aged 85 and older were five times higher compared to this younger group.

One of the biggest reasons for so many falls is that balance gets worse as we age. To help us keep fit and healthy as we age, we should all work on maintaining good balance. Balance and fitness tests are given at various health clubs, including the Y. They will evaluate you and determine if you need special exercises to improve balance. The Y has a six-week course that works exclusively on balance. Most gyms have senior programs with strength and flexibility programs that also incorporate balance exercises. Of course yoga classes will keep you in balance, in many ways.

Many people I know tell me their balance is getting worse yet they do nothing about it. It's such an easy thing to work on, and just 10 minutes a day will make a world of difference. Try tree pose, eagle pose and other yoga postures and you will find that your balance quickly improves. It's worth the few minutes a day it takes to possibly prevent a life threatening fall in the future.

Do You Know About Farro?

Farro is not a wheat, but a plant and grain all its own. It's a little like brown rice, nutty and light brown. It contains a starch similar to Aborio rice, thus it is very popular in risotto like dishes. Rich in magnesium and vitamins A, B, C and E, farro is low in gluten and easy to digest. This is a grain that has been around for thousands of years, and has recently popped up on health food and natural food stores. I love to experiment with various grains, and I have done so with farro. It is good hot, in any risotto type dish, or cold as in the salad below that I hope you enjoy.

Mediterranean Farro Salad

1/2 lb. farro
1/2 small cucumber, peeled, seeded and diced
1/2 red pepper, chopped
1/4 small red onion, diced
1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved
1/2 bunch chopped flat parsley
12 Greek olives, chopped
crumbled feta cheese, to taste (I like lots of cheese)

Cook farro according to directions, drain and cool. While the farro is cooking, prepare the other ingredients. Combine all ingredients, and mix in the dressing, below.

Dressing for Mediterranean farro salad

2 tsp. honey
1 T. balsamic vinegar
1 T. cider vinegar
4 T. olive oil

Seventy Seventh Visit to Taft

With the long 4th of July weekend beginning early, the freeway was crowded on Friday morning, and I smiled thinking that I would only make this trip a few more times. A new month means lots of visitors, and the room was packed with families on Friday. To my surprise, the long awaited coffee maker had finally arrived. I was so surprised I didn't even notice it until Ron pointed it out to me. So I guess I lost the bet I made with myself. I didn't think the coffee maker would arrive before Ron's release, but I was wrong. I had a very nice cup of cappuccino for 75 cents.

Ron is a planner, and wants to know what's in store for him next, so he's a little upset that they haven't sent him the halfway house book of rules. That is supposed to be sent to men ready for release 4 weeks in advance, but so far, nothing. I called the halfway house and asked lots of questions. They're going to be sick of Ron before he even arrives. No outside food is allowed, but they do have vending machines. He'll get the rest of the rules on July 27, and hopefully be home by July 29.

Restaurants. We made a list of all the place Ron wants to eat when he gets home. I must have 30 places on the list, including, Phil's, Brett's, Claim Jumper, Nucci's, Union Tap, Fleming's, Wahoo's (one of my favorites), Phong Trang and Ponte Vecchio. One by one we'll get to them all.

What will Ron miss when he leaves Taft? A few good friendships, men he has learned to love and respect, who feel the same about him. He tells me that there are many men at Taft that seek out his advice on personal matters. He's like the old Grandpa to many of the young kids, with lots of life experience He likes that role, loves helping men who are having a hard time solving problems. There are several men there that he respects greatly and they feel the same for him. He will miss them. I asked him if he would miss the lack of accountability and responsibility that he has there. His answer was a definite "No." He looks forward to getting back to paying bills, taking care of household needs and working. He has never shied away from responsibility or accountability.

The night before I pick up Ron I planned to stay at a local motel, just a few minutes from Taft, but seeing the motel Friday changed my mind. Since I will pick him up at 7am I thought being nearby would save me some driving, but this place is a dump. I will either stay at a better place a little further away, or spend the night with Linda and Rod in Bakersfield. I love being with them, but I have a feeling I will not be great company the night before picking Ron up. I will be focused on the next day.

I said goodbye to a few of Ron's friends today, as they will not be in the visiting room anymore this month. They all seem sad to see him go, a little jealous, but happy that his last day will soon be here.

The Cost of Food

I started writing this blog in early March, 2009. My son David gave me the idea. I told him I wanted to write an article about saving money by shopping at the 99cent store, and show people ways they could eat by shopping there for less than $15 a week. He said, "Why don't you start a blog?" And so I did. My first few blogs were about the 99cent store, so I decided to revisit that topic 2 years later and see if things had changed.

This came to my attention because my friend Linda sent me an article about how manufacturers have hidden the rising cost of food by changing the packaging. I will write more extensively about this another time, but just look at some of your recent purchases at the supermarket and if you have similar old items, compare the size of the package. Cereal, peanut butter, snack food, crackers and yogurt are just some of the items where the package has shrunk, yet the price has either stayed the same or gone up. So let's talk about the 99cent store.

I went there the other day when a quart of milk at the local supermarket went from $1.49-$1.69. A quart of milk at the 99cent store is 99cents! That's a big difference. It's about a 60% savings. I recently went to the 99cent store and purchased the following items: 4 pack of Western Bagels, 8 ounce container of cottage cheese, 8 ounce container of Land O Lakes margarine, bag of 3 pieces of fresh ginger (can be frozen), 2 large zucchini, 1 quart milk, 1 box Fiber cereal (same cereal at Trader Joes is $2.69), bag of 6 oranges, bag of Dole spring mix lettuce (more than $2.50 in supermarket), and Vitamin One water (normally $1.69). All that for about $10.

Many people say they like a certain brand of cereal or peanut butter, but so many food items are co packed today that you might buy a generic brand of peanut butter and be eating Skippy. Really. Try this experiment. Take a $20 bill and shop the grocery section only at the 99cent store. Then go to your regular supermarket, buy comparable items, and see how much it cost. You will be amazed. With a few trips to the 99cent store every month you'll have so much more money in your food budget to spend guilt free at specialty stores or farmer's markets. I hope you give it a try.