The Challenges of Aging

I often quote my mom, a shining example of how to age gracefully. For many years one of her projects has been a program through Jewish Family Services. She has mentored seniors, men and women who are living alone and need help in managing their lives. In addition to having two seniors to work with, she is also on an advisory board of a group at Jewish Family Services who are working to develop ways for senior citizens to stay independent and active as long as possible. She loves working with this group, and they are coming up with ways to get information to seniors as well as develop ways to keep seniors independent.

Driving a car seems to be one of the most important things for seniors to hang on to. It's the hardest thing for them to give up, as it makes them dependent on someone else to get around. At the very time that my mom joined the advisory group, she also received a letter from the DMV. The letter, in a very threatening and intimidating tone told her she had been reported for poor driving and would have to go through a battery of tests, including forms to be filled out by her family doctor, eye doctor, and possibly come take a driving test. Since her license was renewed about 6 months ago, this caught her by surprise. If I felt she was not competent to drive I would have told her, but instead I did everything I could to help her retain her license.

First, she had to go to her internist and have her fill out forms, describing her physical and mental abilities. She is in perfect health, no falls, no strokes, no tickets or accidents, so we were baffled as to why she even got this notification. Then she went to the opthamologist, who filled out forms describing her vision. Again, perfect. Finally, she was given a date to report to the DMV for evaluation. This was several weeks out, so she had anxiety regarding the outcome of this whole mess for several weeks. She didn't know if she'd be called upon to take a driving test or what.

When the notification first arrived in the mail, we were sure someone had reported her. It is usually a child or other relative or a doctor who reports an incompetent older driver. This was not the case. To this day we can't figure out why she got the notification in the first place.

The final result was that my mom will retain her license. The examiner at the DMV could not figure out why she had been contacted in the first place, and found her to be perfectly competent to drive.

Another challenge of aging. It's hard enough to deal with all the issues of aging, but with the added stress of events like this, seniors have a really hard time. Many seniors would just give up driving after receiving a letter like this, as they wouldn't want to deal with the evaluation process.

Many seniors should not be driving, yet it seems there must be a better way of evaluating them. Scaring them and sending intimating letters is not the answer. My friend's 93 year old father just got a 5 year license. That should not happen. After a certain age licenses should be only 1 year in length, and driving tests should be required. The ability of a senior to drive can change rapidly, and most seniors either don't recognize their inability to operate a vehicle or want to drive anyway. I understand how important driving is to one's independence. But it is also not fair to jeopardize the lives of others and let someone who is not fit to drive continue to do so. It's a difficult situation for a child to tell his aging parent that he is no longer fit to drive. That is why many choose to tell a doctor or the DMV and take it out of their hands. The committee that my mom is working with is trying to find ways to keep non drivers engaged in life and community and active and independent as long as possible. It's a just another challenge for her as she gets ready to celebrate her 88th birthday in a few weeks, still going strong.