Twenty Eighth Visit to Taft

I just got home from Taft, exhausted, and swore I would wait until tomorrow to write about my visit, but here I am at the computer. I drove 350 miles today, spent 5 1/2 hours visiting with Ron, then spent 3 hours visiting my 7 week old twin grandsons, dinner with my mom, and home. I had a very full day.

About 10 days ago Ron called, very upset. One of his friends had a heart attack and was rushed to Bakersfield Hospital. What usually happens in such cases is that because of poor health, that person gets transferred out of Taft and into a medical facility. The inmates at Taft are never told of his whereabouts or his condition. Fortunately in this case the man was returned to Taft and is awaiting a stent, probably this week. This particular event had a happy ending, but often the inmate is never heard from again. It must be extremely hard to make friends and then poof, they're gone. I know how close these guys get. They are family to each other, and then the relationship is over, either because of transfer or release. Inmates cannot see or contact each other after release, except with special permission.

So all the relationships that they rely so heavily on are just temporary. It's a little like camp or a bus tour on which you meet lots of people, become fast friends, and then it's over. Ron has had many strong male friendships throughout his life and fortunately he has met some wonderful men at Taft. He gets very close to people very fast, and I know that when he leaves next year, leaving them will be very emotional.

The temporary nature of relationships at Taft goes along with the temporary nature of just about everything else there. Just when you get to know the guards, they change. Just when you've settled in to your bunk and feel comfortable with your bunkies, they move you. The warden, assistant warden and Ron's counselor have also changed since he's been there.

The best thing about the temporary nature of things at Taft is that Ron's time at Taft is also temporary. Ron and I have been together for over 41 years. That's more than 14,965 days. He will be at Taft around 525 days. Even though it doesn't seem so now, that's a little blip on the screen in the grand scheme of things. I've always talked about our life together as a roller coaster. It's temporarily on pause but will soon be up and running.

Every emotion and situation in life is temporary. Being happy, sad, rich or poor, things are always in flux. This is one of the wonders of life, it's ups and downs. It doesn't always feel good when your mood or situation is not what you want, but hey, that's life. One thing you can be sure of and that is that next week or next month or next year things will be different. I just try to enjoy each day to the fullest.