Ron has been home for 82 glorious days. We have settled into a "normal" routine. This is the first time in 40 years that I can remember not thinking about the future in the way I used to think. I used to be focused on events, like the end of the school year, a family vacation, the end of tax season, a son leaving for college, etc. Those were the events by which I gauged time. I don't have those events anymore, and I look at the future differently. I look at my calendar for the rest of the year and most of what I have on the calendar are day to day events, like working out, playing bridge, working, going to a movie. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we are both living more "In the moment." That is a good thing. Keeping healthy and happy on a daily basis is more the goal. The future is important, but it doesn't mean a thing without good health.
My writing about our journey during the past 22 months is just about over. I will continue to write once a month. I don't feel I have enough to say to you on a week to week basis, so I'm moving to a monthly format. I will update you on our progress on the first Monday of every month.
Ron and I continue to work on our own relationship. I think marriage is an evolving institution, as we are both changing all the time. We continue to try to help other men and their families that are going through circumstances similar to ours. We are talking with a family right now, who although their circumstances are very different, are hopefully benefitting from our experience. Ron finds this work very cathartic. I too, feel so good helping another wife or mother prepare for what she faces. I call this a "journey" and I don't think my journey is over. It's reached another level, one that's not quite as interesting to readers as the past 22 months. I will continue, however, to keep you posted.
Showing posts with label phase three. Show all posts
Showing posts with label phase three. Show all posts
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Phase Three-Week One
Thursday night we received our last 2 phone calls from the Halfway House, checking to make sure Ron was home. Of course he was, and after the 2am phone call we could not go back to sleep. He was due to appear at the Halfway House between 4-8am to get his release papers. Around 5:30am he got up, and by 6:30 was calling me to say he had his release papers in hand and was on his way home. Phase two was over. Now we're on to phase three.
Supervised release is a three year period during which Ron has a probation officer that he has to report to monthly. After he gets settled into the routine of what she wants, it should become routine, but in the beginning there are many forms to fill out. In his case they are not concerned with his behavior, only that they get their money. It's all about the money. Things like visits to our family in Los Angeles are on hold right now. Hopefully within a few months Ron will have permission to travel there to see my mother and our children and grandchildren. They are very strict on allowing him to leave the jurisdiction.
I feel relief. The most difficult part is behind us. (actually the most difficult part was the 2 years before incarceration.) I was so excited Friday about him getting his release papers. You think it's over, but no, it's just another phase of the whole process. I started to feel that all this was never going to end when he told me about the first meeting with his probation officer, and all the things he could and could not do. Then I realized how far we've come, and that the next three years are going to be a piece of cake.
We're just so happy to have uninterrupted evenings without the phone ringing at all hours of the night. Saturday night we at a bridge party at our local bridge club and didn't get home until 10:30 and nobody was checking up on him! Ron is looking forward to work and getting back into a routine. Ron has three years of supervised release, which means he'll be filling out monthly reports, submitting budgets, expenses and the like for next three years, but that's all just part of the system. He says they don't make special rules just for him. As the saying goes, "It's not over until the fat lady sings." She's a long way from singing.
Supervised release is a three year period during which Ron has a probation officer that he has to report to monthly. After he gets settled into the routine of what she wants, it should become routine, but in the beginning there are many forms to fill out. In his case they are not concerned with his behavior, only that they get their money. It's all about the money. Things like visits to our family in Los Angeles are on hold right now. Hopefully within a few months Ron will have permission to travel there to see my mother and our children and grandchildren. They are very strict on allowing him to leave the jurisdiction.
I feel relief. The most difficult part is behind us. (actually the most difficult part was the 2 years before incarceration.) I was so excited Friday about him getting his release papers. You think it's over, but no, it's just another phase of the whole process. I started to feel that all this was never going to end when he told me about the first meeting with his probation officer, and all the things he could and could not do. Then I realized how far we've come, and that the next three years are going to be a piece of cake.
We're just so happy to have uninterrupted evenings without the phone ringing at all hours of the night. Saturday night we at a bridge party at our local bridge club and didn't get home until 10:30 and nobody was checking up on him! Ron is looking forward to work and getting back into a routine. Ron has three years of supervised release, which means he'll be filling out monthly reports, submitting budgets, expenses and the like for next three years, but that's all just part of the system. He says they don't make special rules just for him. As the saying goes, "It's not over until the fat lady sings." She's a long way from singing.
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