What Are Boomerang Kids?

Boomerang kids are those that after being out on their own for a period of years, come home again. The reasons for their return to their parents are varied, but usually are due to unemployment, debt, or divorce or illness. As many as 25 million adult children are back at home. This number increases during economic recessions, so it's very high right now. For me, my goal for my children was always financial and emotional independence. When a child comes home after being on his own for many years, there are bound to be adjustments, misunderstandings and arguments. Assuming that the goal of most parents is to help make their adult children independent again (there are some parents who are thrilled that their children are back home and do not make an effort to help them regain independence), here are a few things that experts say you, as the parent, should consider.

Set expectations with your adult child as soon as they return home. Let them know that this is temporary, that you will help them resolve the problems that brought them back home, and let them know the guidelines for living in your house again. After all, you are making a big sacrifice to help them. You've probably gotten used to life without them in the house, enjoy it, and will have to change your ways somewhat. You may also face financial responsibilites that you weren't counting on that might delay retirement.

Set a time limit. Many adult children may take advantage of your hospitality. Make sure that they pull their weight.

Charge rent. Adult children often say, "Are you kidding?" when asked to pay rent, but it will give them some sense of responsibility, even if they are in a deep financial mess. Your goal as the parent will be to help them sort out their financial troubles and get on their feet.

Many cultures encourage or even demand that children stay at home until marriage. It is likely that an Iranian child will stay at home until marriage, possibly even after marriage. The same holds true in many Mexican homes. American culture generally has children leaving the home after college. If American kids went back home after college many might wonder why they're not out on their own. In other cultures, they would think it strange if the kids didn't stay at home. But in this time of high unemployment among adults from 22-30 and high divorce rates, it is very likely to see these young adults back at home. The challenge (besides getting along with each other)is to get the child back on his feet, employed and independent as soon as possible. That's a big challenge today.