Quiet Time Together

With Thanksgiving behind us and Hanukkah and Christmas right around the corner, the talk everywhere is about what we are thankful for. It gets repetitious, as most people say they are thankful for good friends, family and health. Most of us don't sit around and talk about what we're thankful for, how our lives have evolved, hopefully improved, how we have evolved and improved, but Ron and I do. Maybe it's because we've been through a lot that we reflect on the past more than others might, and seize each moment and enjoy it to the max. A few weeks ago I blogged about Ron's birthday, and how we had been through alot, but that we were both so optimistic about the present and future. We talked more about what we have been through, and Ron said to me that it (his incarceration) doesn't seem so bad now. I said, "You've got to been kidding!" How time heals all wounds. He is now looking at our 19 months apart and thinking about the "good" that we found during that time. The anticipation of our weekly visits was the climax of our week apart. The four hours we spent together every Friday was the highlight of a predictable, rather mundane week. Yes, Ron developed some new skills at Taft, made new friends (although temporary friends), read some books, reflected on life and love and improved his health. I used the time to develop a deeper relationship with my mom and children, become more independant, learn bookkeeping skills (well sort of), and survive in the single world. I've always said to Ron that life is a roller coaster. At first you're chugging up the big hill, hoping to reach the top. You may get there, with a few little dips in the ride. Somewhere near the top, things usually level off, and for the latter years of your life you simply glide along. Our roller coaster has been a little different. We climbed up the first hill with a few ups and downs, reached the top, rode the top of the coaster for awhile, then crashed quickly to the bottom. Now we're chugging our way up again. Ron feels happier than he's ever been. I believe him. He says the big difference is living in the moment. We go to play bridge now, and Ron is totally focused on that activity, not thinking about what he'll do later. In the past, Ron would only partially enjoy anything he was doing, as he was always thinking about what came next. So what am I thankful for? All the usual things, like family and friends, and good health. I am also thankful for Pepper, our rescue Schnoodle that we brought home a year ago. What a wonderful addition to our life. We sometimes overlook the fact that without good health, nothing else matters. I have 2 friends that have recently lost a young family member, one 45 and one 48, both suddenly. They know the value of good health, and of living in the moment. I am most thankful that I have a partner who has grown, changed and developed into a man I am proud to call my husband. I am thankful for our wonderful talks about life, children, politics and the world, that encourage me to be the best mother, daughter, wife and human being I can be. I am thankful that I love to read and learn, and that I am constantly challenging myself in that department. Finally, I am thankful that my great grandparents didn't miss the boat, that I was born in America, that I have the freedom to speak my mind and believe what I want, even if it's not popular. I'm sorry if I've rambled a bit, but I'm writing this early on Thanksgiving morning, right before I go to the gym. I wanted to respond to a wonderful conversation Ron and I had last night before it got away from me. We're spending a quiet Thanksgiving together but alone, after last week having the family here for Ron's birthday. That's just one more thing that I have to be thankful for. I don't have a family that guilts everyone up if they can't make it to Thanksgiving dinner. For the last several years we have celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday or Saturday, because that was the day that worked for everyone. My family marches to it's own drum, something else for which I am thankful.