My Personal Journey

It's the first of the month, and time for another update on our journey since Ron's release from Taft almost 23 months ago. Time is flying by, and my 19 months without Ron seems in the distant past. Ron's PO stops by occasionally (that's her job), as she did about a week ago. Her attitude toward Ron has changed so much. She has lightened up, and really tries to be helping him. She is going to help him find out how to get a new passport. She also has interest in his work and how everything is going. Ron no longer thinks of Fridays as the day the PO might stop by. There's no stress associated with her visit. I got an e-mail from a woman I met several years ago named Toni. Her husaband was an acquaintance of Ron's (actually they just had a mutual friend) who was in a lot of trouble and was facing a very long prison term. Ron and I met with him prior to Ron's incarceration, and aferwards, I continued to meet with Toni and her husband while he was going through the sentencing stage of his case. In addition to a long prison term, Larry did not have a supportive family (kids were very angry) and his wife Toni was having a hard time emotionally. Anyway, I met with them every few months for about a year, until he was finally sentenced. He got a 10 1/2 year sentence, and is now at Terminal Island (in Long Beach). She e-mailed me to let me know how things were going. She has settled in to a new apartment in Sherman Oaks, and goes to visit her husband twice a week. He is doing fine, and plans to spend the rest of his sentence at Terminal Island, rather than transfer to a camp. The point of my telling you about the e-mail from Toni is that it brings up a lot of old feelings and experiences for both me and Ron. One of the things we both feel is great empathy for the men that are still incarcerated and their families that deal with it on a daily basis. It's hard to understand what it's like unless you've been there. I can tell you all the stories in the world, but you won't truly understand the loneliness in the middle of the night, the helplessness when you can't get something done or the sadness you feel when leaving a visit, unless you've been there. I cannot ever understand what Ron went through either. It's funny. As time passes, things come up in daily life that remind him of Taft, things he never told me about before. We were in line somewhere recently, and Ron got very uncomfortable. The people were extremely close to each other, and Ron had to step out of line and let me stand there. Why? He told me later that in prison, one important rule is to respect a person's space. Do not get too close, in their face, or stand too close in line. This is an unwritten law. Our experience in line recently reminded him of this. Our son David married his beautiful bride Tracy on June 1 in the garden at UCLA Faculty Center. What a wonderful beginning for them, to be surrounded by family and friends in a beautiful setting, at the start of summer. As testament to David's strong friendships, he had friends attend his wedding from New York, Oklahoma, Colorado, Columbia (South America) and Australia. What a reunion it was for his college friends from the University of Denver. David and Tracy planned most of the wedding themselves, and things went off without a hitch. Great job, guys. I wish them a long, happy and healthy life together. It was great to see all my sons, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren together this weekend. I wish it could happen more often. So, all the kids are married (to wonderful women I might add), my mom is in good health, my sons are all happy and doing well in their careers, my husband is working hard at his many jobs, and I try to pull my weight, between travel agent work and mystery shopping. As the distance between Ron and Taft grows, the memories fade, and a happy, healthy Ron has emerged. Things are so good right now. What am I going to worry about?