Born To Love

The events in Dallas have prompted me to write something about race.  This is a story I have been telling for over 30 years, since my son Phil went off to kindergarten at our local public school, which was located in Bel Air,  a privileged area of Los Angeles.  The school, Bellagio Road School, had a busing program, so I knew he would be in a class with a nice mix of black, Hispanic and white students.  At that time, which was 1983, I was teaching in North Hollywood at a public school that was also involved in busing.  The mix of students was about 50% white, 25% Hispanic, and 25%black.  I assumed Bellagio would be the same.

Phil went off to school, loved his teacher and his classmates.  He was thriving.  He took the bus to school, so I never had occasion to visit the school or classroom at all.  In early December Phil brought his class picture home.  We were shocked.  Out of a class of 28 students, there were 5 white students, and the rest were Hispanic and black.  What surprised me was that Phil never said a word about the ethnic makeup of his class.

Why would he?  He had been around people of color since he was born, and they were always treated with respect.  He felt as comfortable with people of color as he did with whites.  That's because no one had told him otherwise.  Hate is something that we are taught.  You are not born hating.  Phil was not taught to look at or treat his Hispanic or black classmates any differently than the white students.  I hate to say it, but it's parents and grandparents that are teaching children to hate.  They may not actually tell a child he should hate someone of another race, but he may show him through his actions that he does not respect them.

Children are born loving their fellow man until they are taught not to.  We need to emphasize love and empathy at this time.  Whites can never understand how it feels to be black, and the different standard that exists for them in the world.  Just go to any integrated school and watch the very young ones play.  There is no segregation, no separation by race in young children.  It's not until they get a little bit older, and parents and society have taught them to hate, that segregation takes place.  We as adults have to accept responsibility and change course, or we're going to continue to have a divided country.