Thirty Eighth Visit to Taft

I've been so busy lately, that the half way point of Ron's incarceration came and went without any mention from me. How could I forget to talk about the fact that more than 50% of his time at Taft is finished? As it stands right now, he has completed 275 days, and has 231 more to go. Looking at it another way, he's got 33 more weeks to go.

When Ron first started serving time at Taft, the days seemed endless. I remember counting the days until he had finished 10%. Ron says that time is flying by for him. He has work, umpiring, classes and lots of new friends to schmooze with. I, on the other hand, find the days go slowly but the weeks go quickly. I know that doesn't make sense, but here's what I mean. I sometimes find the days going slowly, but then I turn around and it's Thursday, ready to go back to LA for my Friday visit with Ron.

Today we spent time talking about stress, and how much we have in our individual lives. The tumultuous years before January, 2010, were filled with the most unbelievable stress for both of us. I am sure that Ron's diabetes was exacerbated by stress. Over the past few years, my hair got very thin, also a result of stress. (I think). Today while we were visiting Ron mentioned how much thicker my hair looked. I believe it's because of a reduction in stress.

In Ron's case, he says he has no stress right now, other than what he brings on himself. The causes of his stress are self inflicted. He will start to think about when he is released, what his probation officer will and will not let him do, and he gets stressed. He creates all sorts of scenarios for himself of things that will not likely happen. What will happen if he accidentally breaks probation? That thought causes him stress. His day to day life is stress free. As a result his overall health, and specifically his diabetes is much improved. He has no decisions to make, no bills to pay, no business conflicts to contend with.

I, on the other hand, am faced with the stresses of daily life. I don't find this too daunting, yet dealing with bills, overseas customer service representatives that are difficult to communicate with, and traffic sometimes gets me down. I also fantasize about the time Ron is back home and the problems we may encounter. This causes me stress.

Overall, this is a stress free period for both of us, as evidenced by Ron's good health and my thick hair. I hope, come June, my hair will stay thick and his health will stay good.

First Fridays on Abbott Kinney

You're probably all aware of the great truck food explosion and the impact it's had on urban culture. Gourmet food trucks of all types roam the streets of our major cities, stopping to serve at any event that attracts a crowd: a ball game, a concert, a downtown office building at lunch, or a nightclub that's closing. How do you know where the trucks are? You Twitter, of course. Just follow your favorite truck on Twitter, and they'll tell you where they are and what they're serving each day. Technology and food have finally met up.

The businesses on Abbott Kinney have come up with a clever idea to increase their own business. Bring in the food trucks. On the first Friday of every month, dozens of food trucks line the streets of Abbott Kinney in Venice, attracting thousands of diners and potential buyers. The businesses stay open late and the food trucks do too. It's a win-win situation for shopkeepers and food truck owners. I was there last week to check out the action.

Overall, I was disappointed. Some of the food was absolutely delicious, some was just ok, some I didn't really like at all. We arrived on the early side as I had been told parking was a big problem, and many trucks were still not up and running when we left at 7:45. Maybe the action starts late. In any event, my favorite truck was the Korean Taco Truck. I had a beef taco, Korean style that was just delicious. It was not too spicy, but there was plenty of kimchee for those that like spice. We also ordered a quesedilla from them, also delicious. My least favorite truck was a small truck serving Japanese streetfood. They only serve one thing. It's a ball about the size of a large egg, filled with octopus. The batter is a mixture of rice flour and herbs. It is baked and topped with scallions, mayo and teriyaki sauce. We all tried it and decided we would not order it again. At another truck we ordered mac and cheese. Good, but not great. David bought several desserts to take home from cupcake and cookie truck. Mini cupcakes, iced cookies and rice crispy bars were just some of the items.

The trucks were mostly ethnic, Korean and other Asian foods were the most plentiful. Lots of sushi trucks, Korean Barbeque, Philippino foods, and Thai. You really don't know where to start or when to end. I really overate.

Some of my favorite trucks were Ahn Joo (Korean), Kabab'n Roll, Calbi, Greenz on Wheelz, and Shrimp Pimps.

The main negative for me is the lack of anywhere to sit. I still like to sit down and eat. Food trucks serve mostly finger food, wraps, tacos, sandwiches and the like, that you can hold and eat and walk at the same time. It's a social experience that most will enjoy. I can't wait to try some other unique foods, like crepes, shrimp tacos, ice cream and gelato trucks and bacon tacos at another time.

The food truck explosion offers a new dimension to our culture. Fine food at low prices is available to anyone. You just need to be connected to the internet and keep track of where your favorite trucks are setting up today. It's a great concept, offering a great variety of food, but for me, I still enjoy sitting down to eat my meal.

Living In The Moment

I'm sitting at my desk, looking at the calendar and getting ready to cross off today as if the day were already over. It's 7:20am. There are so many wonderful things that could happen today. Why do I already want this day to be over? Because at this time in my life I want time to go quickly! I bring myself back to what I have learned from yoga and meditation and try to enjoy each moment. I have a wonderful day planned. Why do I want it to be over?

Do you remember when you were a small child and the concept of time was unclear? You'd ask questions like "When is my birthday?" or "How much longer until Christmas?" or as you're driving in the car "When will we get there?" We all wanted time to "hurry up." We couldn't wait to say we were 5 1/2 or 5 3/4. When we were in high school we couldn't wait until graduation, we were counting the days until our 16th birtday and we could drive. We were always wishing for time to pass quickly. When kids came along we were hoping the bad stages of childhood passed uneventfully, while we enjoyed the peaceful stages and hoped they would last forever.

At a certain stage of life you realize how precious each day is, and that wishing your life away detracts from enjoying life to its fullest. Many times I catch myself saying that I wish this stage of my life were over but I force myself back to the moment. This time in my life may turn out to be one of the happiest times for me. I look at each day as an adventure, a new chance to learn something new, help another person, make the world a better place in some way, and of course have fun. I do know that I have found out in the last nine months that I can do things I never thought possible. My challenge each day is to stay on course, not mark the days off on my calenday at 7:30am, to live with excitement and anticipation for what this day may bring.

My mother-in-law had it right when she said "don't wish your life away." She said to enjoy what you're doing and don't always be waiting for the next event. I like what Jerry Seinfeld said many years ago when i saw him in a live show. He talked about people always hurrying to get to the next event in their life and never enjoying what they were doing. You tell your dinner guests you have to go home. Why? To get ready for tomorrow. You're out for lunch and you have to get home to get ready for the next thing you've got planned. As a result, many of us don't enjoy what we're doing. We're thinking about what we have to do next.

So living in the moment is what it's all about for me. I have not crossed today off my calendar. I have several exciting things planned, and who knows what else will come up? That's one of the great things about life to me. The unexpected. Time will move at it's own pace whether I like it or not. I choose to enjoy this pace and this time.

Two Days in Playa Vista

Last week my friend Jan and I spent a few days cat sitting for her daughter's new feline friend, Lucy. I'm allergic to cats, but with Benedryl in hand, I said yes. Luckily this cat has short hair and my reaction was minimal. I went two days without having to take any medication.

Playa Vista is adjacent to Marina del Rey, in Los Angeles. It's a new area of apartments and condominiums, with lots of green space between buildings, and just a mile from the the ocean. I decided to take Jan to Venice Beach on Saturday. It's a must see for visitors to Los Angeles. If you've never been, you must go once. For me, it's a great place to take out of towners and get a nice workout at the same time.

We rented bicycles and were on our way. The area from Washington Blvd north, to the Santa Monica Pier, is colorful, to say the least. There is a bike path that winds northward, past beachgoers, musclemen, roller bladers, tattoo artists, street vendors and musicians. We stopped along the way at the skate park and watched with amazement the skill and daring of the young skateboarders. They are quite amazing. Many rollerbladers are also on the bike path, and there is an area for the bladers to show off their skills. We were there early, but in the afternoon this area resembles an ice skating rink with performers practicing their jumps, twirls and dance routines. It's very entertaining.

We reached the pier, turned south, and walked our bikes back to Washington Blvd. We passed the Shul on the Beach, Tattoos on the beach, sidewalk chalk painters, vendors selling everything from luggage and sun glasses to tee shirts and jeans. We passed Muscle Beach, a long time attraction, which now has stadium seating surrounding the workout area for spectators. There wasn't much activity when we were there, but you can often see men with huge muscles working out in front of the crowd. Handball and paddleball courts are also on the boardwalk, and full of players. Many private trainers use the area to train their clients. There was a yoga group practicing on the sand, and several trainers with their clients on the grassy area doing sit ups and lunges. One of the most interesting activites we saw was a large group of young people in something that looked like rollerblades, but the bottom of the shoe had two flexible strips that bounced when they walked. They're called Bounce Shoes, and what a workout you get from them. The teacher was leading them through a series of exercises and I could see they were really working hard.

Of course Venice Beach offers lots of eating opportunities, too. It's the standard beach fare of corn dogs, snow cones, popcorn and pizza. We decided to wait until our ride was over and get some really good food.

We were just a few blocks from one of my favorite Venice restaurants, 3 Square Cafe. It is owned by Hans Rockenwagner, one of the most respected chefs and restauranteurs in Los Angeles. It was Saturday and they were serving brunch. Jan had an apple pancake with creme fraiche. It was like a cake/pancake with apples in it, topped with powdered sugar and creme fraiche. I had an egg white omelette with fresh veggies and cheese. Other items included crab cakes, corn meal pancakes, tuna burgers on pretzel bread, corned beef sandwich with spicy cole slaw and bread pudding french toast with smoked bacon and eggs. Everything was excellent. Afterwards we took a short walk along Abbott Kinney and enjoyed the interesting shops.

What a wonderful day. Warm weather, good company, exercise, great food and some interesting sights. Who could ask for anything more?

Purreed Cauliflower and Parmesean Cheese

Don't close this blog just yet. I hope cauliflower didn't turn you off, because you'll be missing something if you don't try this recipe. A few weeks ago I was having dinner at my mom's house in Los Angeles, and she suggested we make a recipe suggested to her by her good friend Clyde. I said, "sure, why not?" until I heard it was cauliflower. Was I ever wrong. The recipe below is low calorie, healthy and absolutely delicious. You can make the same recipe with turnips and it would be just as good. Try it for a change. It's a good way to get your veggies, and believe me, you won't think you're eating cauliflower.

Purreed Cauliflower and Parmesean Cheese

1 medium head of cauliflower, cleaned and cut in florets
3 T. parmesean cheese
1/4 c. low fat milk or chicken broth, or as much as needed to think to proper consistency

Steam cauliflower florets until very tender. Cool for 10 minutes, then transfer to blender, add parmesean cheese, liquid (milk or chicken broth), and salt and pepper. Blend until purreed, like mashed potatoes. Start with a little liquid, then add more as needed.

You will think you're eathng mashed potatoes. Honestly, it's that good. You could also add a little horseradish to give it a bit of a kick, or some garlic. Experiment with this easy, versatile side dish. I hope you enjoy it.

Thirty Seventh Visit To Taft

Last week I told you about SHU, and I guess some readers of this blog were shocked. I have spent most weeks talking about the prison experience and how well both Ron and I are handling it, but the cold reality is that Taft Camp is a prison, no matter how much freedom the men have within the camp. The bottom line is that the men at Taft, many of them type A personalities, are used to running the show. They now have to learn to take orders. They must learn to bite their tongue and do what they're told. I suppose it's a bit like being in the military. The institution is based on structure and discipline. Without both the place would be mayhem. It's difficult for men who have spent their lives running businesses and being leaders in the community, to all of a sudden keep quiet. But that's what they must do to make their time at Taft go swiftly and smoothly.

Ron has found new ways to be a leader. He is helping young inmates with their accounting courses. He enjoys this very much. Teaching is something he's never had the opportunity to do, and he finds value in the help he is giving these young men. Ron has also taken a leadership role in Toastmasters, a group that meets weekly where men have a chance to speak and hone their public speaking skills. He is secretary of the group. (I'm not sure what that means). Ron also meets informally with a small group of men who discuss their feelings and problems. I think this is a wonderful thing, as there are basically no psychological services available at Taft. Some men just need a good listener, and Ron has become one. He's a problem solver, and he has helped many men get through a difficult time. I think he may come back in another life as a psychiatrist.

Ron also enjoys helping new inmates get acclimated to prison life. Some men walk in so scared and clueless about what they are facing, that without someone to take them by the hand they could end up in trouble before they know it. He remembers his first night at Taft, when he was dropped off there after spending 11 days in SHU. It was raining, he had no clothes, no bed, no towel, no nothing! They dropped him off, and if someone at the camp hadn't helped him find clothes, a mattress and blanket, he would have really struggled. A warm smile and a handshake to a new inmate is golden. This is where Ron shines. He knows how to help, how to make a newcomer not feel so alone, and how to get him through the first few days.

Although Ron's leadership skills are no longer used to run racing stables, accounting businesses, or hotels, he is using his lifelong collection of experiences in a new way. Maybe in the long run, a more important way. What could be more important than helping a newbie feel comfortable in his new home? Nothing.

How Often Do You Change Your Oil?

Old habits are hard to break. Who doesn't remember their father going out to check the oil in the family car? I'm not sure dad even knew what he was doing, but someone way back when to him it was important to check the oil regularly. What would happen if you didn't have an oil change every 3,000 miles I don't know, but we all bought into the 3,000 mile number.

Recently consumer advocates and environmentalists are saying that changing oil that often is not necessary. I have read that cars from 2003 and newer do not need the oil changed so often. Oil chemistry and engine technology have improved to the point that most cars can go several thousand more miles before changing the oil. A better average, says Philip Reed, senior consumer advice editor for Edmunds.com, is 7,500 between oil changes and sometimes up to 10,000 miles or more.

The California Integrated Waste Management Board ran public service announcements for several years about the 3,000 mile myth, urging drivers to wait longer between oil changes. Although the information is a few years old, the board has a list of cars on its web site and how often they need oil changes. The concern is not only the cost to drivers, but the environmental impact of throwing away good oil, said Mark Oldfield, a recycling specialist for the agency.

What actually happens if you don't change your oil? Well, it doesn't run out, it simply gets dirtier and dirtier. It's like mopping the floor with a bucket of dirty water. Blackstone Laboratories in Fort Wayne, Indiana, one of the best known places for engine oil analysis, will send you a free kit. You send back an oil sample and for $25 they'll tell you all sorts of things about your car.

Most experts talk about the type of driving as a determining factor in how often to change the oil. Stop and go driving means more oil changes than longer-distance driving, for example. As always, you should consult your owner's manual for their recommendations. Many automobile makers are recommending more mileage between oil changes.

Old habits are hard to break, but this is a good one to examine. It will save you money and even though many dealerships recycle used oil, it will help reduce waste in the environment. My 2007 Saab is ready for an oil change, but I plan to wait another 1,000 miles.