Our Children Need Another Fred Rogers

I went to the movies recently to see the documentary about one of my heroes, Fred Rogers.  The movie, "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" brought back the 70's and early 80's, when David and Philip were regular viewers of his program.  Especially David.  Oh, did he love that show.  Each day when Mr. Rogers walked into the room, David would be there, and would mimmick Fred as he put on his sweater, then sat down and changed his shoes.  Then, until the carpool picked him up for pre school, he was engrossed in whatever was going on in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

Fred Rogers was an ordained minister, but his true love was working with children.  He thought the most important thing we needed to instill in children was trust.  They needed to trust that their parents would keep them safe, accept them for who they were, and love them.  Seems simple, but it's oh so hard to accomplish.  Fred talked directly to children, not down to them, he did not preach to them.  They loved him, and when he did public appearances, the children all wanted to go up to Mr. Rogers and touch him and tell him they loved him.

Fred would tackle subjects like death, of a pet or a loved one, divorce, war, assassination, tolerance.  He even returned to the air after 9-11 do do a special to help children, and adults, what had happened.>P>

Fred spoke slowly.  The sets on his show were simple.  A neighborhood with a train, a few puppets (Fred did all ten voices), and a few chairs.  He introduced children to people who looked different then they looked.  He brought great musicians, athletes and others on his show to expose kids to the world.  Many people took his warm, loving way as not manly.  He was often called gay, although no one who ever knew or worked with him ever thought so.  He was just a special man, who did not need zippy cartoons and lots of fighting and action to get a child's attention.  He did it with words, and taught his audience to love themselves for who they are, and to accept others for what they are.  It's a message we could all follow today.  He died in 2003, and although there is some good children's programming, nothing that I know of  has come along to replace the good feeling that children developed and the lack of fear to express how they were feeling, that Mr. Rogers gave them.  He was truly one of a kind.

Red Snapper Salad

My neighbor Max goes fishing a few times a year, and whenever he returns, he shares his catch with lucky neighbors.  His most recent catch was a large red snapper.  He gave me a big piece.  One night I just grilled it.  It was so moist and tender.  With the leftovers, I made red snapper salad.  It just like the wonderful whitefish salad that you get in Jewish delis,  a cold salad meant to spread on bagels.  It is so delicious.  I said to myself, "Why not do the same thing with the red snapper?"  It came out fantastic.  I just made another batch to take to  golf tournament, followed by appetizers and cocktails.  I'm going to serve it with pieces of matzo.  I hope everyone likes it.  Here's the recipe for you to try.  If you have a little piece of any cooked white fish, you can use it to make this recipe.

                                 Red Snapper Salad

1/2 pound red snapper, seasoned with salt and pepper, and cooked, about 5 minutes on each side

mayonnaise
sour cream
4 scallions chopped
1 large T. horseradish (in a jar)

Let the cooked fish cool, then put in a bowl and flake it.  Add all other ingredients, and blend well.  The fish will continue to flake into little pieces as you mix it.  The amount of mayo and sour cream is  just enough to make it moist and creamy.  I probably use about 3 large tablespoons of mayo and about half that amount of sour cream.  No need to add salt if you seasoned the fish before cooking.  You're going to love this dip.  Use it as an appetizer dip or spread it on bagels and make it a sandwich.  Enjoy.

Pet Food Is Not So Healthy For Fido

Have you walked into the pet food aisles at Petco lately?  How many different brands of dry food do they have?  Maybe 30-50 different brands.  We've been told they're good for our pets, and most of us are paying big bucks for dog and cat food.  Well, the reality is that most of these foods contain ingredients that may cause cancer.  I have not researched this myself, but I can read labels.  If a product contains ingredients you can't pronounce or have not heard of, chances are you don't want your pet eating it.

In 2014 Purina, Pedigree and Hills Science diet were found to have the ingredient aflatoxin in their food, a cancer causing product.  Hills Science Diet was also caught in 2015 with high levels of calcium in their food, 3 times the appropriate limit.  Royal Canin, Hills, Blue Buffalo, and Iams contain melamine, imported from China.  In 2007 this ingredients was found in low quality pet food that poisoned or killed an untold number of pets.

Dog treats, such as Milk Bone and Pupperoni are no better.  Not only do they contain high levels of carbohydrates, but also ingredients that can cause cancer, hyperactivity and other non life threatening, but dangerous additives.  A dog's ancestral diet is only 6% carbs, the rest protein.  We should we feeding our pets a protein diet.  Why aren't we?  $$$$$.

Go to bestcatanddognutrition.com to find out more.  The oddity is, that if we are poisoning our pets, why are they living so much longer?  Probably the same reason people are living longer.  They have a better life style and more preventive treatments, better medicine, better medical care.  I will continue to give my dog people treats like carrots, potato skins, cottage cheese and yogurt.  BTW, I don't buy any product human or canine, that has products from China in it or says "Made in China."  There may be a tariff on that stuff soon anyway, so it will be too expensive.  Bottom line, read labels for your pets, just as you do for yourself.

Psychology and the Good Life

The most popular course at Yale University is Psych 157, Psychology and the Good Life.  In fact, it's the most popular course ever in the history of the school.  Why?  Probably because so many students are NOT happy.  Statistics show that 47% of college freshmen me feel anxious, stressed and depressed.  It's even higher for women.  So Laurie Santos, professor of psychology at Yale, created a class to help students understand why they are feeling this way, and ways to change their behavior to live a happier life.

The students who attend Yale are goal oriented, and much of their teenage years has been spent studying and planning for the future.  This is not a bad thing, but when it's the focus of your life at the expense of developing and maintaining friendships, it's not so good.  Dr. Santos feels that students are very involved in social media, but differentiates this from social interaction.  Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are interactions, but not personal.  A face to face interaction is what we all need.  Yale freshmen, and young adults in general, are interested in getting good grades, to get them a good job, to get them lots of money.  Studies have found that none of these things lead to happiness.  Acts of kindness and social connections lead to happiness.  Psych 157 gives the students exercises to improve their chance at happiness.

Of course we also know that young adults feel unhappy, anxious and numb, by the rise in suicide and drug use.  Society, not just schools, have to get involved in turning half of our young adults from depressed to happy.  Hopefully, more schools will follow the lead of Yale.  It sounds to me like a course kids should be taking much earlier, say middle school.  Let's see what happens.

Fish Camp Huntington Beach

Fran and I took a trip to Huntington Harbor not long ago to her friends, Stephanie and Paul.  They have a duffy boat, and we needed to learn to drive one.  We're taking 16 women, in two boats, on a trip to Balboa in a few weeks, and we wanted to be competent captains.  Stephanie and Paul were the ultimate hosts, preparing snacks (fruit, muffins and water) for the journey.  Driving a duffy boat is easy, so we explored the waterways of Huntington Harbor, practicing our turns, backing up and maintaining a steady course.  It was lots of fun meeting them, but after all that hard work (LOL), we headed for lunch.

Fish Camp came up on Google Maps as the nearest restaurant, so we headed there.  The restaurant is actually in Sunset Beach, a very famous surf town.  The restaurant is right on Coast Highway.  It is owned by people that own King's Fish House in Carlsbad.  They have several other locations, but Fish Camp is more casual, but the food is just as good.

When you walk in, you first see a small fish market, for fresh fish.  Then, there is a counter where you order your food.  Next, choose a seat inside the roomy restaurant, or outside on the covered patio, which we did.  We were in the mood for fish and chips, and I must say it was excellent.  We got the three piece plate, with a nice light batter on the fish, but cooked to a golden brown.  The fries were thin and crispy, and the cole slaw was refreshing.  Fish tacos looked great.  They also had a selection of full meals, where you pick your fish, pick your sauce, and then make it a platter with rice and salad, or a sandwich.  Whatever you do, you can't go wrong.  You'll love your meal.  It's a great choice for lunch or dinner if you're in the area.

It's Official:Excessive Gaming Is Now A Mental Disorder

The WHO has now identified excessive gaming as a mental health disorder.  The official description is as follows:
  Gaming disorder is characterized by a pattern of persistent or recurrent gaming behaviour (‘digital gaming’ or ‘video-gaming’), which may be online (i.e., over the internet) or offline, manifested by: 1) impaired control over gaming (e.g., onset, frequency, intensity, duration, termination, context); 2) increasing priority given to gaming to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other life interests and daily activities; and 3) continuation or escalation of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences. The behaviour pattern is of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning. The pattern of gaming behaviour may be continuous or episodic and recurrent. The gaming behaviour and other features are normally evident over a period of at least 12 months in order for a diagnosis to be assigned, although the required duration may be shortened if all diagnostic requirements are met and symptoms are severe.

Obviously everyone who plays video games does not have a mental health disorder.  It has to do with the amount of time played, the frequency, and the degree of involvement in the game.  Believe it or not, the average gamer is a 35 year old male!  That statistic surprised me.  Little is known about how to treat "gaming disorder."  I assume treatment would be similar to any other addictive activity, like shopping or games on your phone or computer.

Our society has become one of excess.  We seem to overdo everything.  Use of the computer, the mobile phone, TV.  We overeat, overdrink and take drugs in excess.  It's a cultural thing.  Now excessive gaming is just another excess to add to the list.  I think of  my mom's words from decades ago.  "Everything in moderation."  Good words to live by, mom.

What Was Your First Job?

Babysitting was my first job.  In the 1950's every young girl over the age of 12 was babysitting.  Can you imagine trusting a 12 year old today to take care of a couple of infants and toddlers?  I used to babysit for a family with two little girls.  It was easy money.  Most of the time, the girls slept.  All I had to do was watch tv or study.  I can't believe I was given the responsibility of caring for young children.  I was a child myself.

My first actual job was a summer job when I was 16.  I worked in a garment factory in Los Angeles.  My parents had a good friend who owned a women's wear company, and he gave me a summer job.  I left every morning at 6am to walk to Sunset Blvd. and Veteran Ave, where I caught the bus for downtown.  I didn't return until around 6pm.  Here's a little of what my day was like and what I learned from the experience.

I learned a lot at that summer job.  I learned how to get along with all kinds of people, Black,
White,Hispanic and Asian.  I learned to talk to people with little or no education and discovered they often had a lot to teach me.   Most of all, I learned that hard work does not necessarily lead to success.  The people that worked in the garment factory were among the hardest working people I have ever met.  They worked long days, most had many children to cook and clean for, and a husband to keep happy.  They worked for low wages, but for the most part, they were happy people. It was a great experience for me, and I definitely learned that education was the way to better future.

I had some other crazy jobs in my teens, like working as a girl Friday for Mala Powers, a popular actress at the time.  She lived in Studio City, and I was constantly driving from her home to the studio to deliver clothes to the set.  When I wasn't running errands for her, I was clipping coupons from magazines for her at her house.  Seriously!  However, it was my first job, the garment factory job, where I clipped threads off finished clothes, sorted finished clothes by size, and learned to cut patterns, that I remember best.  I checked that job off my list of jobs I never wanted to do again!