Locker Room Talk

I always love to listen to the locker room conversations. Topics range from women talking about the great workout they just completed, to health, family and politics. I recently overheard two women talking, and what they were saying really hit home.

I have often felt that so much of my life has been planning for the future, waiting for specific events before doing something for myself. That's exactly what these two women were discussing. One was saying that she was so happy that her high school senior could finally drive. Now the mom could come to the Y in the morning instead of taking the kids to school. The other mother was looking forward to the day her high school senior went to college. As soon as that happened, she and her husband were going to take a trip. They were waiting for the future, when their kids would be independent and out of the house, and thought that would be the end of their responsibilities.

So much of our lives is put on hold, waiting to get to a certain place, but it seems that something else always intervenes. For many men and women who retired or planned to retire, circumstances have changed and they either put off retirement or have gone back to work. The trip with their husband is again postponed. Most of these postponments are not due to finances, but life circumstances that cause a delay.

Just when you thought you and your husband were going to enjoy the good life together a child announces a divorce and comes to live with you. Or a parent dies and you bring the surviving parent to live with you. I think of the saying that says, "While I was planning for the future, life got in the way."

It's hard to walk away from responsibility. It can pop up at any time of life. But sometimes we have to think about ourselves. I remember in the late 1980's I had an opportunity to go to Africa. Ron wasn't particularly interested in going, but I was dying to go. So, I took 2 weeks off work, left Ron with 3 children and a house we were building, and went to Kenya. Had I not had a supportive husband I would not have been able to make the trip, and might have always regretted it.

There is never an end to the responsibilities of life. You get finished with schooling and are faced with family responsibilities. After the kids are grown, you have to worry about problems grown children might encounter, then it's on to the concerns of aging parents and affording retirement. Does it ever end? No, it doesn't. I think it's important to think about yourself once in a while, and take the trip you've always wanted. Plan for the future, absolutely, but realize that life will get in the way, and know that there will be unexpected twists and turns. Enjoy the journey. Make time for yourself.