The Benefits of Church

Several years ago I blogged about a book called The Blue Zones, and if you haven't read it, I heartily recommend it. It's about the six zones of the world where people live longer than anywhere else, and why they do so. One of the reasons is spiritual. Other commonalities that these six zones had were a mainly vegetarian diet, exercise, and close friends for support. I was discussing this book with Charlene, and she brought me an article by Stanford anthropologist T. M. Luhrmann, that talked about spirituality and longevity. One of the most striking scientific discoveries about religion in many years is that going to church weekly is good for your health. Religiosity boosts the immune system and decreases blood pressure. It may add as much as two to three years to your life. The reason is not entirely clear. It seems this would be difficult to study, but someone has. One part of going to church is the social support of the group. This was very important in the six blue zones, but it was not always in the form of support from a religious group. It might be a quilting group or a sewing circle, but people who attended these social groups lived longer. It is true that many religious groups offer a great deal of support in time of grief or other hardship. The group really comes together to help out those in need. This was also true in the six blue zones. Luhrmann studied mostly evangelical church groups, but the effect of the group is the same, regardless of religion. The problem with religious groups, is that they are often fair weather friends. They love and support you as long as you're in the group, but if you leave, you also leave their support system. The Morman Church is one example. They are supportive as long as you are in the church. If you marry outside the church or leave for whatever reason, you are shunned. In Hasidic Judaism the situation is similar. If you're in the group, you will get emotional and financial support to get you through any ordeal, but if you leave the religion, they will no longer help you. (I know this first hand from a family member.) Most people do not leave their religious group, and thus they have love and support that makes them feel needed and loved. This leads to greater overall happiness, which in turn leads to a longer life. I guess the moral of the story is to go to church and bond with your fellow churchgoers. This will make you happy. Does this mean those of us who don't go to church or are not spiritual will not live as long? I think the answer is no, if we find other social groups that meet our needs. It may be a biking group or a walking group or a knitting club. If you bond with the group and support each other, you will get the same benefits as those that go to church get. At least that's what I believe.

How You Look Says Alot About You

Ron just returned from having coffee with an old friend. Ron commented on how sad he was for this man, for his life had no meaning. He doesn't work, he has no hobbies, and few friends. In addition, he is unkempt. I said to Ron that I thought a man or woman's personal appearance says alot about their self image. It has nothing to do with the cost of a person's clothes. It has to do with the person being clean, having their hair combed, and looking neat. You can wear jeans and a tee shirt and look fabulous! Did you ever go to the racetrack and see people that we used to call "racetrack bums?" When I write that now it doesn't sound very nice, but that is what they were called.(and I knew many of them). I conjure up in my mind a picture of a man (sometimes a woman) with sweat pants that don't fit, and a stretched out tee shirt, possibly with a hole or stains on it, unshaven for several days, and messy hair. Go to the grandstands at Santa Anita someday and you'll see what I mean. Or go to a casino here in San Diego, and you'll see similar people playing poker, craps or blackjack. They seem to take no pride in the way they look, and to me this means they don't feel very good about themselves. I think about some women I have known in the past who have stayed in pajamas and a bathrobe all day more often than not. They have nothing to do, nowhere to go, no reason to get dressed. My mom has worked with seniors for many years, and one of the most important things she has learned is that people must get up every morning, wash themselves, put on make up (or shave), and get dressed. This sets the tone for the day, and if someone just lounges around the house in pajamas, they will never get out and into life. One of the most important things in life is to have purpose. I like to keep my calendar full. I like to know that I have something planned everyday. The examples about the racetrack and the casino came to mind because it is at these establishments that you will see many people who seem not to take care of themselves. I'm no psychologist, but it makes sense to me that if you don't take an interest in your physical appearance, you probably don't think much of yourself. I was waiting for the library to open the other day, and there was a man fitting the description I have given above, waiting there too. I wondered why he chose to look like he did. He had a beard, hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks, dirty shorts and shirt, and sandals. He was smart, very smart. He was talking about everything from politics to philosophy to books. I couldn't figure out why he looked the way he did. I think he had made a conscious choice to look this way. Why, I don't know. Maybe low self esteem, maybe something else. In any event, I think that most people that look this way, don't feel very good about themselves. Ron's friend and his appearance may be keeping him from enjoying life to the fullest. It's sad to see.

A Little Culture

I have a treat in store for you, if you haven't already been to see it. At the Cannon Art Gallery right next door to the Dove Library in Carlsbad, is a wonderful exhibit, but only if you have a knowledgable guide to take you through it. We were lucky to have Quintin as our guide/teacher for the morning. He made the exhibit come to life, and if you don't have someone with knowledge of the area and the culture, you'll just be looking at some beautiful embroidery, batik, and silver jewelry. Lorna arranged the tour for our group, and everyone came away with a new appreciation for the handiwork of this ethnic minority in China. The exhibit is called "Vanishing Traditions," because so many of the crafts of isolated cultures are dying out. Bea Roberts, a woman who lives in Del Mar, started traveling to China years ago, and collecting textiles, garments, batik hangings, and silver jewelery from a groups of ethnic minorities in China, the Dong and the Miao, in the southwestern province of Guangxi. The Miao are a minority of 9.6million in China. They live in a mountainous region of China, and are subsistence farmers. The land has rich soil and minerals, and they produce a variety of agricultural crops. They have no written history. They history is told orally, or through song, or through their clothes. The Miao have few possessions, so the colorful clothes that they wear for festivals tell a story. The entire exhibit was donated by Bea Roberts, who has collected textiles from various regions in southwest China over many years. Embroidered dresses and jackets usually tell a story. For example, there are several symbols that appear in many of their designs. The sun, a symbol for life, is almost always present, as is the dragon, a symbol for vigor and fertility, and the butterfly, the symbol for rebirth. The colorful garments are all dyed using plants and insects to create color. Some garmets may be made by several girls or women, as they work together (like a quilting bee) to create the garments. Girls as young as four begin to learn this craft. The embroidery work is intricate and must be very tedious to produce. The Miao also produce beautiful batik panels. Recently the traditional infrastructure has begun to change the fabic of this society. Today, few textiles and adornments are produced in the villages, and many of these traditions are vanishing or gone. Most examples now exist only in museums and cultural venues. Progress. Young men and women from these isolated cultures now have the opportunity to move to the big city, to get an education, to become more worldly. Certainly this is a good thing for them, but the traditional culture and customs of a unique society is rapidly vanishing. That is too bad. I encourage you to stop by the Cannon Art Gallery before June 2, but I would call and make sure that someone will be there to tell you about the exhibit. You'll find it much more meaningful. And it's free!

Herbed Sweet Potato Skins

I'm always looking for ways to eat healthy, but still enjoy the foods I love. Lucky for me I like sweet potatoes. They are a great alternative to white potatoes which we rarely have due to Ron's diabetes. But sweet potatoes are on every list of good healthy foods, and this easy recipe is a great subsitute for potato skins, without all the fat and cheese. Hope you enjoy. Ingredients: 4 medium sweet potatoes, halved lengthwise 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, plus more for oiling 3 tablespoons chopped parsley 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme 1/2 teaspoon dried sage Salt and pepper, to taste Method: Preheat oven to 400°F. Pierce potatoes all over with a fork then arrange on a greased foil-lined baking sheet, cut sides down, and bake until tender but not mushy, about 30 minutes. Transfer to a plate and set aside until cool enough to handle; reserve foil-lined baking sheet. Arrange a rack in the oven about 6 inches from the heating element and preheat broiler. Scoop about half of the potato flesh from the skins, leaving a 1/2-inch thick wall around the edges and bottom of each half. (Reserve scooped out flesh for another use.) Cut each sweet potato shell lengthwise into 1/2-inch strips then arrange on the same foil-lined baking sheet in a single layer. In a small bowl, combine oil, parsley, oregano, rosemary, thyme, sage, salt and pepper then brush all over potato skins and broil until browned in parts, about 4-6 minutes. Don't throw the scooped out flesh of the potato away. Save it and use it in a mashed sweet potato dish, or just eat it as is. It's delicious. This is a great alternative to potato skins. Nutritional Info: Per Serving:170 calories (70 from fat), 7g total fat, 1g saturated fat, 0mg cholesterol, 190mg sodium, 24g carbohydrate (4g dietary fiber, 10g sugar), 2g protein

Where Have All The Heroes Gone?

I watched the Oprah Winfrey interview with Lance Armstrong recently, and said to myself, "Where have all the heroes gone?" Here's a man who made millions, inspired people of all ages for years, who turns out to be a fraud. I wasn't shocked by his admissions, because the allegations had been floating around for years, but was disappointed in his lack of remorse and especially the fact that the acts he committed had ruined the careers and lives of many innocent athletes. We've had many hero athletes fall from grace in recent years. Just think about the fact that Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and Roger Clemens lost their bid for admission to the Hall of Fame because of doping. Olympic atheletes, Hollywood stars and politicians whom people look up to, have all been found to be less than stellar. Back in the day, kids looked up to star on TV, like The Lone Ranger or Superman. We didn't know anything about their personal lives, but they were heroes to millions of kids. Today, every aspect of one's personal life is scrutinized, and kids have fewer and fewer heroes.. The list of people that fell from grace is long: Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Barry Bonds, Profumo, Plaxico Buress, Carl Edwards, Kobe Bryant and Michael Vick. Real heroes are not movie stars or famous athletes. They are everyday people who do heroic things everyday. It may be a grandma who takes in her grandchildren because the parents can no longer care for them and raises them to be fine upstanding citizens. It may be a single mom living in the projects, working two or three jobs, to get her son educated so he can become a doctor. It might be parents with a talented ice skater, who sacrifice their time to take their child to practice every day for years. Or it might be woman who gives back to her community by feeding the homeless. Everyday there are military heroes who serve and protect our nation. Heroes are all around us. We all know them. They don't have to be famous. When celebrities fall, people are always so shocked. Why? They're just people, subject to the same frailties as everyone else. Look around your community for the real heroes of the world. Their names are known by only a few, but their deeds make them heroes in the eyes of many. Who are your heroes? Who are the real heroes of the world? Heroes should be idolized for their heroic deeds, not their prowess on the golf course, their ability to hit a baseball, or their role in the movies as a superhero.

A Day At The Nut Farm

When I told someone I was going to visit a nut farm, they said "I don't have to visit, I already live there." Well, we went to Bates Nut Farm in Valley Center on a beautiful, crisp winter day, and were happy to learn about nuts, farms, and sample their wonderful fudge. Bates Nut Farm was founded in 1921, and has been family owned and operated ever since. The founding family, Gilbert and Beatrice Bates raised their family, along with geese, ducks, goats, horses and rabbits. There were plenty of walnut trees in the beginning, but due to floods in the 1970's in which all the walnut trees died, pumpkins are now their main crop. Some of their pumpkins get as big as 250 pounds! Today, their nuts are purchased from all over the world, then roasted and packaged at the farm. One of my favorite parts of the day was the visit to the gift shop. The candy section is hard to resist, especially the homemade fudge, with at least 10 different varieties. It's impossible to resist. They also have all sorts of specialty food items, like tea, vinegars, many varieties of mustard, dip mixes, soup and chili mixes, dried fruit, trail mix, packaged nut mixes, and cake and scone mixes. There is also a little boutique with gift items, clothes and beauty items. This is a wonderful place to come for an afternoon in the country. Although just 40 minutes from Carlsbad, you feel like you've left civilization. At Halloween time the place is jumping with all kinds of activities for kids, including a maze made from bales of hay. Many special events are held there, like dog shows, craft shows, and recently they had a food truck evening, with 20 food trucks and several bands for entertainment. Fun. There were 12 of us who went to the farm together, and as usual, we had a wonderful day. We brought a picnic lunch, so between our home brought food and what we bought in the gift shop, we had a feast. As always, the conversation was interesting. I always learn something from an outing with friends. Visit www.batesnutfarm.com to find out more about the farm, their products, and how to order. Better yet, plan a day trip to the farm alone or with kids. It's a delightful day for people of all ages.

Notorious Burgers Opens In Carlsbad

On the Northwest corner of Alga and El Camino Real, we have a new restaurant, Nortorious Burgers. This is the spot that was formerly Joey's Barbeque. For whatever reason, Joey's closed, and Joey reopened the restaurant as an upscale burger lounge. I'm not sure about the details of the closing and reopening, so it's enough to say that the new restaurant is one you will definitely want to try, especially if you live in the neighborhood. The interior of the restaurant has been redone. There are lots of booths, lots of high top tables, and a bar area. The wait staff was very helpful, and service was quite good. Our friends George and Laurie were there right after the opening and told us about it. They thought the food was good, but the prices were high. We had to check it out, so on a freezing night, we braved the elements and went to Notorious Burgers. (are we wimps? that same night my son Phil told me the temp in Denver was 6 degrees) The prices are similar to The Counter, possibly less, because the order of fries is very large, easy to split. There are many burgers to choose from, all around $9 and all so big that we split and were still stuffed. We had a juicy 1/2 pound burger, cheese, grilled onions, bacon, lettuce and tomato. It was huge, messy, and delicious. They slab on their special thousand island style sauce to make it extra messy! We cut it in half, ordered the steak fries which were great, a drink, and enjoyed a wonderful meal. We also ordered a small order of chicken wings wrapped in bacon, served with slightly spicy barbeque sauce and ranch dressing. Ron loves chicken wings, and he thoroughly enjoyed these. They also have a build your own burger, similar to The Counter, where you can have beef, lamb or turkey burger and then add your own additions. I think this is a 1/2 lb. burger and a little more expensive. There are several other appetizers including calamari and lump crab cheese fries (how good does that sound?)

, several salads, and a few different types of fries: sweet potato, waffle and steak fries. All the portions were generous, so even though it was a little expensive for the burger, those of you who like to split will find half a burger plenty. The fries are only $4, and they're really enough for two or three people. Lots of beer and wine will complete your meal. I wish Notorious Burgers lots of success. We need a neighborhood restaurant like that, and this may be the one. It's a great location, and maybe Joey has finally found the food that local Carlsbad residents will flock to. I know we'll be back there soon again.

Parenting 101

I haven't watched the Dr. Phil show in years, but I was recently channel surfing, and the title of the show caught my eye. It was "Lazy and Entitled." One family on the show was a mother, her 22 year old daughter, and the daughter's 23 year old boyfriend. The two young adults were living in mom's house, not working, not looking for work, and having their bills paid by the mom, who was struggling herself. The kids thought this was perfectly ok. The next family on the show was a mom and dad, an 18 year old daughter who was in college but living at home, and a 13 year old out of control daughter. The 18 year old daughter had written about her family to Dr. Phil. The 13 year old wouldn't go to school, was disrespectful to her parents all the time, left trash all over the house, and complained that her parents were cheap when they only gave her $150 for her birthday. These kids are not outliers. They are more and more common today. Young adults that think the world owes them a living. As Dr. Phil says, they weren't born that way. Parents need to learn the single most important word, and that is NO. When parents say no, it should mean no. The advice that Dr. Phil gave the first family was that mom should have the kids move out and stop paying their bills. As long as the mom takes care of them, they will continue to be unemployed. Mom says she will stop enabling them, but that remains to be seen. The other family was really in crisis, and Dr. Phil was sending a family therapist to work with them. I Phones and I Pads and extravagant gifts for a 13 year old should be a reward for good citizenship and respect. The 13 year old in question would throw tantrums, destroy the house, swear, cut school and who knows what else, and the parents stood by and watched. There are many important things that most parents teach their children, but three in particular. 1. The value of work and the feeling of accomplishment for a job well done. There's nothing that feels better to a 16 year old than receiving his first paycheck. 2. How to handle disappointment, whether it's not making the cheer leading team, not getting the grade expected on a test or not getting asked out by a special boy, children must learn to accept these disappointments and realize that life will go on, and maybe next time things will work out as they want. Finally, children must learn the importance of giving back to their community in some way. My experience as a parent and now as a grandparent, is that NO is the most difficult, yet most important word in parenting. I remember going to the supermarket with my young kids and having them endlessly ask if they could have Frosted Flakes or some other sugared cereal. It took just a few times, sticking to my guns, to put that question to bed. They never asked again, and we never had sweetened cereal in the house. As adults and parents, none of my children buy sweetened cereal. Another NO that my children got frequently, had to do with shoes. They went to a school with many affluent students, and although we could afford the $100 Michael Jordan shoes (that was expensive at the time) I would not buy them. I explained my reasons to them, and I stuck by my guns. None of them buy expensive athletic shoes today. In fact, this particular "No" had such an affect on one of my boys, that when he was in college he wrote a piece for an English class on a young boy with just one pair of shoes. He told me how much my attitude about expensive shoes had affected him. As a parent, some things you say stick. Others seem to go in one ear and out the other, but much of it is absorbed and may come out in later life. You've got to be strong as a parent. Using the word NO is a good place to start.

Miraval's Clear, Ageless Skin Smoothie

Go on the internet, and you'll find dozens of smoothies to help improve skin, digestion, weight loss and energy. Many of them are pretty good. I buy Bolthouse Farms green goddess drink, and really love the taste. It's got fruits and veggies in it, most fruits from concentrates, like pineapple, banana, kiwi, mango and much more. It tastes good, gives me a little something in the morning before I go to the gym, but it is high in sugar and carbohydrates. But I have something else you might like. Miraval, my favorite spa in the whole world (not that I've been to that many), and one I say everyone should try just once before they die, has a website that I read frequently. Miraval does not serve "diet" food, but healthy food, and they will customize guest meals based on your goals. Their nutrition supervisor is Junelle Lupiani, RN, and below is her smoothie that contains "six servings of vegetables and fruit in one drink." She feels it is especially helpful to those with dry skin. Plants are about 70% water, which is vital for skin health. These green veggies are rich in flavonoids and carotenoids, but which also have strong antioxidant properties to help keep the skin clear. Here's Junelle's simple recipe for hydrating your winter skin from the inside. Miraval's Clear, Ageless Skin Smoothie 2 c. cucumber, skin on 1 c. granny smith apple, cored 1 heart of romaine lettuce, about 6 oz. 1/2 c. fresh pineapple Combine in a heavy juicer or blender, and process on high speed until smooth and frothy. Enjoy.

Wellness Rules

I've blogged before about my favorite spa vacation, Miraval, in Tucson, Arizona. I have been there many times, and have tried to take away from each visit their overall philosophy of life, "life in balance." It's what I was taught by my mother (everything in moderation), and how I try to live. So one of the things I read frequently is the Miraval website, as they often have guests giving health and fitness tips. Recently I read an excerpt from Dr. Andrew Weil's article about integrative wellness. Here are some of his rules for healthy people. 1. Hang out with positive people. 2. Take a break from your militant diet and exercise regime. In other words, give yourself a break. I would do well to take that advice. 3. Get back to-or into nature. If you've never been one to appreciate the great outdoors, or if you've been caught up in life and have ignored the beauty all around, take a look. Go to the park and read the paper. Sit on a cliff overlooking the ocean and think. Walk along the lagoon. We've got the most beautiful sites in our backyard, and a walk in the park will most definitely lower your blood pressure and raise your spirits. 4. Practice Hari Hachi Bu-that's the Japanese practice of eating until you are 80% full. You heard for years that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to register what you have eaten, so give your food a chance to digest before stuffing yourself. 5. Double your D's. That's vitamin D, especially in winter when the sun doesn't shine as much (except in San Diego!). Low vitamin D can contribute to obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes and depression. 6. Try some tulsi-holy basil. Sip it in tea. It is full of anti oxidants and anti inflammatory properties, lowers cortisol, the hormone associated with belly fat. It has been used in ayurvedic medicine for thousands of years. 7. Eat all kinds of mushrooms. They have anti inflammatory properties and may boost your immune system. 8. Do HIIT- high intensity interval training. 9. Know your trigger points-don't overwork your muscles. This can lead to stiffness, pain and limited range of motion.

Rediscovering Ocean Beach

Want to rediscover the 60's and 70's? Take a walk down Newport Avenue in Ocean Beach. OB as it is called by the locals, is a throwback to the days of hippies, peace marches and and free love. It is also the home of young families, seniors, businessmen and students. It's an eclectic community full of just about something for everyone. I recently took a large group of women there (along with my wandering partner Fran)for a morning tour of the area. Patty, from Urban Safaris, led us on a 1 1/2 hour walk around the area, giving us lots of history and interesting human interest stories along the way. OB was the Haight Ashbury of San Diego in the 1960's and early 1970's. Peace marches and war protests were common in OB. It's a community that strives to keep it's uniqueness by doing their best to keep out chain markets, restaurants or coffee shops. They've been successful up until recently, when the first Starbucks opened in OB. Try as they did, the residents were unable to keep Starbucks from entering the area. OB takes pride in the many family owned businesses in the area, like the owners of Azucar. The owners of the store are Cuban immigrants who have succeeded in expanding a Cuban coffee and pastry shop. The neighborhood loves the store and the family that runs it. Customers know the owners, their children and take pride in knowing many of the people they do business with. OB was one of the first communities to have a food pantry. The OB food pantry opened in the mid 1960's. Food was brought from nearby farms, and offered to those that couldn't afford it. They were way ahead of the times on this one, and many other community issues. OB was developed between 1907-1930. You can walk the area and know exactly when homes were built. It's right there on the sidewalk. Each land owner was required to inscribe the year the house was built on the sidewalk in front. Most houses were built in the 1920's and 1930's. Many were small bungalows built in a cluster, which was the style at the time. OB residents call themselves Obeachians. They have a large homeless population due to the beach setting, lots of surfers, many young families with children that enjoy the beach scene, and quite a few seniors. Everyone lives in peace (for the most part), and most want to keep OB just the way it is. That's hard to do, as real estate has skyrocketd in the area, and developers want to build bigger and better houses and buildings. They protest anything that looks like progress, but unfortunately for them, the big developers usually get their way. Our group was so big we could not have lunch at one restaurant, so a few of us went to Hodad's, the rest went to South Beach Bar and Grill. The food was delicious at both. I went to Hodad's. It's a landmark in OB, and became even more popular after Guy Fieri from Diners Drive Ins and Dives, visited a few years ago, and raved about the food. We waited in line with all the locals, and were lucky enough to get a nice booth. Food was great, servers were great, and except for the loud music, I loved it all. South Beach Bar and Grill is best known for the fish tacos. Everyone who ate there enjoyed their food. It was another great day with a super fun group of women. OB is definitely worth another trip. They have lots of little antiques and collectible stores which would be fun to browse, and a morning coffee and pastry at Azucar would be fantastic. Next time you're looking for a something fun and different to do, try Ocean Beach.

Is Shopping On Line A Good Thing?

On line shopping has changed our lives. It has made everything more accessible, from food to clothes, to office supplies. There's nothing you can't buy on line, whether you need it or not. That is the big question. Do we need it? Does having access to everything in the world at our fingertips cause us to buy things we don't really need? Of course it does, and for some of us that can become a problem. We see it, we like it, we want it, we buy it. For shut ins and those living in rural areas, online shopping is a godsend. They may never be able to get to Bloomingdales, but through the magic of the internet, Bloomingdales can come to them. Shuts ins with illnesses or handicaps, can purchase their necessities without the need to go out. Another positive aspect of shopping on line, is price comparison. You can shop for Nike tennis shoes, for example, and find the very lowest price. If you to do this by shopping store to store, it would take you hours, if not days. Shopping on line is so convenient it's hard not to do it. But do you really need everything you buy? Are you an impulse buyer? Online shopping is NOT good for people like you. It's too easy to just push a button and purchase something. Shopping might be a mood changer for you, as exercise or eating might be for someone else. Nothing makes a woman feel better than a new pair of shoes or a new handbag. (well, almost nothing). Look in your closet, in your kitchen and in your garage, and see how many things you have bought online that you just had to have, that you have used once, and never again. It should make you stop and think. When I shop online, am I buying what I need, or what I want? There's a big difference. I love to browse online, at catalogs, shoes and clothes, but I rarely buy. First, I'm worried about the fit, and returning things on line is a pain and sometimes expensive. There are, however, several things that I do buy regularly on line: ink jet cartridges, anything for my computer, like cords or speakers, books (I don't buy many anymore, as I use the library almost exclusively), and discounts from Groupon and Living Social. I try really hard to keep my buying to what I know I will use. It's hard. Recently Ron's Casio watch broke. The $20 watch was his favorite, and try as I did to find one at various stores around town, I could not. I went on line to the Casio website and bought a new watch for less than the original had cost him. I've gotten away from thinking that just because something is a bargain, I should buy it. So what if it's a bargain if I don't need it? Fishing poles might be on sale at a great price, but I'm not going to use them! My kids tell me that diapers online are a huge savings. I'm sure many baby items are deeply discounted, and my kids with twins saved hundreds of dollars buying diapers and formula online. For me, the best part of online shopping is the opportunity to comparison shop. For others, it's the time savings that gets them to buy online. So, next time you browse through Amazon or Overstock.com, make sure that you are looking for something that you need, not just passing time, or shopping as a mood enhancer. You'll save yourself a lot of money over the course of a year, and you'll keep your closets from getting cluttered. Many people that overshop on line are not even aware of how much they are spending. Most people use online shopping responsibly, but many get carried away and into bad habits. I know I fight hard to resist sometimes. I love workout clothes, and I could shop everyday and find something to buy. Instead, I shop in my closet. I've got plenty of workout gear, and buying more would be buying just because I wanted it, not because I needed it. Or, if it doesn't matter to you or your pocketbook if you purchase stuff you don't need, go ahead and buy. Even though it may not be good for your pocketbook, it is good for the economy.

My Personal Journal

It's been more than 19 months since Ron was released from Taft, but the hurt he feels from those that contributed to his incarceration doesn't end. It's easy for people (me included) to say, "just let it go." It's just not that easy. Everyday there are cruel reminders of what Ron's been through. Once we were at a party that one of our son's was at. During the party, and loud enough that a large group of people could hear, one of the men asked Ron if he liked the food at the party better than where he'd been, at Taft. This was a clear attempt to embarass Ron, and it did, even though many people at the party knew where he'd been. The man thought he was being funny with his comment about Taft, but it wasn't received that way. Comments like this make it difficult for Ron to just "let it go." How hard it is to move forward after incarceration depends on your personality. Some people are less confrontational and have an easier time letting things go. Others want to confront those that have wronged them. Some even want to get back at these people. Moving forward is hard when you're still stuck on what someone did 10-15 years ago. How often do you hear about a daughter who can't move forward because she's still blaming her mom for what she did years ago? Ron has moved forward in so many ways. He has a new circle of friends, and probably a better relationship with his children than he's had in years. Yet, he still thinks about a few people from the past that he hasn't been able to make peace with. I don't think he ever will, as he will most likely not speak to them again. Over time the hurt will lessen, and it will become less important for him to know why things happened as they did. Some things in life just don't have any answers.