My Personal Journal

This will be my last blog on the subject of Ron's incarceration and our journey since his release, on July 27, 2011. The journey is never over, as recovery from any traumatic incident is always ongoing, but we are doing so well that what I have to say is probably boring. So, I will move on to my own surgery, which took place on July 9, and write a bit about my recovery. Surgery of one sort or another is something we all face eventually, so my fears and apprehensions may be relevant to many of you.We were sitting in the movies several weeks ago watching Jersey Boys (loved it), when Ron said to me that his PO popped into his mind because it was a Friday. Rather than get the typical stomach ache that ordinarily went with any thought or correspondence with her, he immediately dismissed it, realizing that she was no longer part of his life. The freedom that he enjoys most is hard to verbalize. I guess it's just knowing that at anytime we can take off for Dana Point to play bridge (something we haven't been able to do for years), meet our family in Orange County for dinner without having to plan weeks in advance, or just take off and drive to Palm Springs, or Phoenix, or wherever we want. You can't imagine what that feels like until it is taken away from you. The next best thing that Ron appreciates is not having to be accountable to someone every month for financial matters. I think the lack of no longer having to report is saving him many hours every month.Still, hardly a week goes by that something doesn't remind him of the past dozen years. He sees someone that reminds him of what he's gone through, hears about an old friend or client, or remembers an incident that brings back painful memories. He still struggles emotionally with the effect incarceration and recovery has had on his family, especially our children. Shame and embarrassment are what he thinks his children have felt for these years, but he also believes they are proud of him, and how he has responded to adversity. He recently reconnected with a longtime friend/client of his, and is pleased about that. He tries everyday to make his family proud, and I think he's doing a great job. I have written more than 110 blogs titled "My Personal Journal," so if you're a new reader or are curious about all we've been through, you can go back through the archives and check them out. I've enjoyed writing them. They've helped me a lot, especially the ones I wrote weekly for the 19 months Ron was incarcerated. Now, it's on to my current journey: surgery and recovery. I'll keep you posted.