Do They Want It Or Need It?

Every time a birthday or Christmas come around, I wonder what to buy for the children.  Every grandchild's bedroom looks like Toys R Us.  They've got more than any child could possibly want or need.  It's not just kids with parents of means who have alot of "stuff."  Many middle and lower middle class children have every new toy, gadget, clothing outfit.  Why do we indulge our children so?

We are living in the age of instant gratification.  Bobby sees something he likes, Mommy buys it for Bobby.  The fact of the matter is that most toys are played with a few times, then discarded.  A few toys become favorites and are used all the time.  Many parents that indulge their children do so out of guilt.  They may be working long hours, and to compensate for that, may buy them gifts.  I know that most parents that travel a lot, always come back with gifts for the kids.  Children often make such a scene that parents would rather buy the toy for them than cause a scene.

I had rules for my children, and I think they still apply.  When going shopping, set the rules before hand.  For example.  Each child has $5 to spend at the market on whatever they want.  Or, when going to a toy store, each child can pick out one toy.(for a specified amount).  When going to the arcade, set limits on how many games they can play and how many snacks they can buy before you get there.  It will save you a lot of grief in the long run, and it will also teach the child that rules are set and followed.

I remember two situations when my children were growing up that really bring this home.  David was around 13 years old, and for his community service he worked at a senior home in Westwood called Westwood Horizons.  He would go there on Friday afternoon, play the piano for the residents, and help in the Shabbat service.  We would park at Bullock's and I would walk him over there.  He loved to shop, and we would always walk through the store.  One day we were walking through Bullock's and he saw a belt that he just had to have.  I told him I was not buying him the belt, and he would have to use his own money if he really wanted it.  My suggestion to him was to not buy it right away, but think about over the weekend, and if he really wanted it the following week, he should buy it.  He never bought it, or even mentioned it again.

The other situation was when Philip wanted to buy an expensive keyboard for a band he was playing in.  We already had a piano, and I felt the keyboard at $1200 was extravagant.  I told Phil that if he could save the money and pay for half, I would pay the rest.  It took him months to save the money, but he finally did.  We each paid 50%, and Phil had a beautiful keyboard that he enjoyed for many years.

Do kids want or need that special toy?  Most of the time they want it.  It's the same for adults.  I can't tell you how often I have delayed buying a pair of shoes or a sweater, only to discover that I really didn't want it in the first place.  It was just an impulse.  Most adults have learned control their impulses, and we must teach our children to do so too.

Another Great Saturday in Encinitas: Foodie Fest Encinitas

Fran and I were returning from our Saturday morning walk and were so hungry, so we stopped at Union, for a quick breakfast.  We split a garden omelette with fries and fruit, and devoured an order of beignets with boysenberry sauce.  It was delicious.  We crossed the street to the Lumberyard and discovered we never should have eaten breakfast.  Foodie Fest Encinitas was just underway, and the tastes from various restaurants were enough for a full meal.  Darn.  I was so full from Union I could hardly sample anything, but I will tell you some of the things we saw, and yes, we did taste a few of them.

Many local restaurants, from Cardiff to Oceanside, were there to tempt us.  All the new gastropubs in Oceanside were represented.  LTH, Privateer, Panca, and Barrel Republic were just some of the Oceanside eateries to choose from.  Q'ero, Blue Ribbon Pizzeria, and Moto Deli were also there.  Most food was locally sourced, all of the food was delicious.  Butterscotch pudding from Blue Ribbon Pizzeria, Banh Mi pork sandwich from Moto Deli, fabulous pork stew from Q'ero.  Home made chocolates and caramels were wonderful.  There was music, too, and celebrity chefs.  We spent about an hour there, talking to local restauranteurs, watching food being made, and eating.  Fresh made salami and cheese could also be tasted, and lots of wonderful fresh seafood,  (cervice, salmon and seaweed salad with fresh tuna) just to name a few.

Almost every week Fran and I walk in Encinitas, and almost every week there is something new and interesting going on.  A hooping class, a yoga class, a food show, a car show, or a craft show, there always seems to be something  fun.  If there's nothing much going on one day, at least there's a beautiful walk along Moonlight Beach available, and that's always fun.

Old Friends

For the past 15 years or so, Ron and I have been getting together with his old friends from high school, Phil and Ellen.  Phil and Ellen were high school sweethearts and have been married for close to 50 years.  After losing contact for many years, Ron was contacted by them when they were planning one of their class reunions.  The  reunion reunited Phil, Ellen and Ron, as well as many other old friends.

Ron went to University of Chicago Lab school, a small school consisting of many academic type kids, children of professors, and some local kids that qualified for admission.  Ron was in the latter group, and although he got a great education there and made some great friends, he never felt like he belonged.  He was not much of a student, spending most of his time playing sports and chasing girls.

In February we flew to Phoenix to visit Phil and Ellen, and see a few other friends from his high school class too.  One particular night was a standout for Ron.  It was the night he saw an old friend whom he hadn't seen in almost 60 years.  His friend Ian was a high school athlete, and he and Ron were on several teams together.  After spending 15 minutes together, it was just like old times for them.  Stories Ron had been telling me for years were now validated by Ian.  They remembered  much of the same  stories, and laughed and laughed over the fun and pranks they pulled as teens.  The funniest story was the one where they went to one boys home for the weekend while his parents were out of town.  They were "supervised" by the housekeeper!  They played poker and drank gin one night until they were all quite drunk.  The housekeeper told them that the way to cure a hangover was to put ice cubes in their underpants.  They believed her.  I can only imagine how many times the housekeeper told this story over the next 50 years.

There really is nothing like old friends.  Even if you don't see each other for years, a few minutes together and you're laughing again like old times.  This night was one that Ron won't soon forget, and neither will I.  I haven't seen men laugh like that in years.  What a special night.! 

KPBS Would Be Nothing Without Its Volunteers

I organized a group of Newcomers to visit the studios of KPBS in San Diego.  Their beautiful, state of the art building is due in part to the generosity of the Jacobs Family, the Shileys and the Waltons, and small donors, just like us.They are located right next to the SDSU, which gives students studying communications an opportunity for much hands on experience.  After lunch at DZ Akins, which is just minutes away, we were ready for our tour.

We were met in the lobby by Don, one of hundreds of volunteers at the studio.  Without volunteers KPBS would not operate.  They are used for everything from leading tours, to manning phones during pledge drives, to reading books and news for the radio reading services program.  Don was so enthusiastic about KPBS, that we couldn't help but be excited too.

We saw all aspects of the radio and television operation, from the digital operations center, to programming room, to sound stages and recording rooms.  I found the main room on the third floor very interesting.  There were a few executive offices around the perimeter, then rows of desks and computers in the center of the room.  Mounted above, around the whole room, were monitors with news and programming from all stations being shown.  There was a white board with news items listed, and how many "Likes" they got on Facebook.  Social media is important, and influences what stories make the nightly news and what stories don't.  Most interesting for me  was how quiet the newsroom was.  I expected reporters to be talking on the phone, but it was very QUIET.  Programming is all pre recorded for the week in the form of a playlist, just like you use for music.

We saw an art show in production, saw Ken Kramer (About San Diego) at work, and  talked to one of the behind the scenes voices, who was at work, recording spots for TV.

Perhaps the most important program we learned about was the Radio Reading Services program.  This is an all volunteer program for sight impaired listeners, where volunteers read the newspaper, books and ads.  The listener gets a special radio box that allows him to listen to much of KPBS's programming.  I was impressed with the high level of professionalism, and the friendliness of staff and volunteers toward our group.  They were all so willing to talk, answer questions, and make us feel that this was "our " television station.  If you have an opportunity to tour the station, do so.  It will give you an appreciation for the hard work that goes into every program they put on the air.

Where Do Old Tires Go?

I'm reading a fascinating book called The Coyote's Bicycle.  It's by Kimball Taylor, a journalist, an investigative reporter and surfer who likes to dig deep.  He really gets to the core of the situation.  This particular book is about seven thousand bicycles and the rise of a borderland empire.  It's about immigration and homeland security.  It is fascinating.  The bottom line is this.  Border Patrol has sensors near the border to detect people walking or running, trying to cross the border illegally.  They don't, however, have anything that detects something rolling, like a tire, so many illegals try to cross on bicycles.  The bicycles have been traced (tagged, like an animal) to see where they go.  They go back and forth across the border!  Pretty fascinating.

In the beginning of the book, Taylor talks about car and truck tires that are seen all over the border area, near the Tijuana River.  During flooding, which occurs cyclically about every  17 years, massive amounts of tires end up all over the Tijuana area.  Where do they come from?  A lot of them are old tires that have been sold to Mexico and are waiting to be resold.  When you go into your tire store for new tires, they take your old ones, and may charge you a small fee to "recycle" the tires.  Sometimes they are recycled, but other times they are sold to Mexico, where they are resold to residents there.  They have little life in them, and when they blow, they are usually just discarded.  Thus, there are lots of tires just lying around.

Here in America we have found many uses for old tires, and for the most part they are reused in a responsible way.  I have always wondered, as I drove through rural areas of our country, why there always seemed to be discarded tires around run down properties.  The answer must be that the people living there had no way to discard them.

As I read back what I just wrote, I can see that is a bit disjointed and rambling.  Sorry about that, but I wanted to tell you about Kimball Taylor, as the book is fascinating, and he has written other articles that are equally as compelling.  I also wanted to tell you about where many of our discarded tires go.  Read The Coyote's Bicycle to find out more about illegal immigration along the Tijuana border and rise of the "Coyote's."

A Night Out With The Romeos

I first learned about the Romeos just the other day.  I was walking Pepper, and my neighbor Max had his garage open, so I stopped by to chat with him.  He always has some interesting neighborhood news.  He was telling me about a phone call he got last week when he was out with the Romeos.  I no longer cared about the phone call, but wanted to find out what in the world the Romeos were.

Romeos stands for "Retired old men eating out."  They have no organization, no members, no requirements and no dues.  It's a commitment free club.  They come together for the sole purpose of having fun.  The Romeo clubs use social networks like Facebook to recruit and advertise its many chapters across the country in nearly every state.  The men come together for the comraderie of dining out together.  Through dining out, they build bonds and new friendships.

Men, more than women, have difficulty making new friends as they age.  Many men are single and don't have anyone to go out to dinner with.  The Romeos offer them a night out with other older men.  A chance for a good meal and the opportunity to meet new people. What a great idea.  There's nothing more important than keeping up friendships and socializing as you age.  It keeps you youthful.  Sharing  a meal with friends is what the Romeos do, no strings attached.

Stone Brewery: Much More Than Just Beer

A visit from my mom would not be complete without some fabulous meals.  I picked mom up at the train station on a Thursday at noon, and we drove to Stone Brewery in Escondido.  I had been wanting to dine there for a long time, but something had always come up.  It's a little off the beaten path, but only 20 minutes from my house.  Now with a new location at Liberty Station, Stone Brewery is convenient to everyone in San Diego.

First, the building in which the brewery, gardens, tap room and restaurant are housed, is gorgeous.  Lots of granite, rock, glass and wood are present, and light filters into the restaurant wherever you are.  The gardens are beautiful, with fire pits, beautiful Adirondeck chairs, and benches randomly placed around the garden area.  There are water features too, with fish and turtles.  Sitting in that environment having a wonderful farm to table lunch or dinner will make you forget you're anywhere near a big city.

For those so inclined, brewery tours are available, followed by tasting.  They also have a tap room available for tasting.  I am not a beer drinker, so this is of no interest to me, but I was surprised by the huge bar filled with people at 2pm in the afternoon.  We went for lunch, and enjoyed a few very tasty dishes.  We shared everything.  I am not a fan of brussel sprouts, but I am now.  The brussel sprouts were cooked with honey, vinegar and  pancetta, until they were crispy on the outside.  Absolutely fantastic.  We had a wilted spinach salad with goat cheese which was absolutely delicious.  We also had the pork ribs with a nice spicy sauce, and a side of kim chee.  The kim chee was too spicy for us, so our waitress brought us an other of smashed potatoes and garlic.  Very good.  It was an exceptional lunch, and I can't wait to go to their other location at Liberty Station for lunch or dinner.  They have a little different menu, and have a wonderful happy hour.  Additionally, Stone Brewery is such a huge space that it offers rooms for private parties and weddings.  What a beautiful setting, and wonderful food to boot.  I loved it.