Bargains Galore

I've never seen such online frenzy as I have this year. Discounts abound, and every time I think I've found the best deal something else comes along. Luckily Hanukkah is early this year, so while most of you are out shopping I'll be enjoying my holiday gifts and relaxing at home.

Actually, there's no reason to hit the stores anymore anyway. Everything can be done online. However, there's a certain type of person that still likes the maddness of Black Friday. I was in LA last week for Thanksgiving, and on Wednesday afternoon while shopping at Ralphs, I noticed a line of a dozen or so young men in front of Best Buy. They had sleeping bags, chairs and tents, and were waiting for the store to open at 4am Thursday morning. On Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, I went car shopping with my mom. The saleswoman had just returned from 8 hours of shopping. She had been to 5 different stores, and bought a huge TV, camera, and who knows what else. I guess people are starting to spend.

I went to Target yesterday to buy gifts for my 5 month old twin grandsons, but the only price reduction was their standard 5% discount. This morning I looked online and there are all kinds of major discounts on toys. As I said before, I think I have the best deal, then a better deal pops up. It's kind of what I've always said about the stock market. It's impossible to time buys and sells to get the lowest and highest price.

I have a new coupon website to share with you. Go to www.couponcabin.com. They have coupons for all the major stores, Sears, Target, K Mart, Wal Mart, JC Penney, Amazon, Ann Taylor, and some other specialty stores. Whenever you buy on line you see a box that asks for the "promotional code." This is where couponcabin.com comes in. You put in the code and save money. I haven't done it yet, as I have finished my shopping, but I will save in my Favorites and use it next time I shop for something online.

Maybe the economy is turning around. I'm no economist but I know that if people are getting out and spending, especially spending on luxury items, it's a good sign. I wish you all a happy holiday season, and happy shopping. No reason to brave the cold. You can do everything from the comfort of your desktop. Stay warm and relaxed and help the economy. Now that's a win-win situation.

Forty Fifth Visit to Taft

This was the first Thanksgiving I have not spent with Ron in 41 years. Most Thanksgivings have been a blend of friends and family, great food and lively conversation. This was a quiet year, just Mom, David and myself. David made the turkey (delish), gravy and dessert (panna cotta), mom contributed the sweet potatoes and asparagus, and I made the stuffing and cranberry relish. We had a great meal and talked about family that couldn't be with us for one reason or another. I thought about how grateful I am to have what I have, considering the condition of the world today. I have discovered that regardless of what's going on in your life, you don't have to look far to find someone with unbearable problems, and you didn't even know it!

Ron did not have a Thanksgiving dinner this year, as he is on the Kosher meal plan at Taft and they do not offer a traditional meal. The rest of the camp does receive a full Thanksgiving meal, but not the Kosher eaters. He really didn't miss it all that much. He spent the day watching football, calling me, and thinking about Friday when I would come to visit. He did want me to tell everyone how grateful he is for all he has. He says there are so many ups and downs emotionally in prison, yet he tries to maintain balance. This is hard, he told me, but each day he is that much closer to release and a life of normalcy.

One of his daily routines is a long shower after dinner, and time to think. Ron raves about the bathroom and shower facilities at Taft. They are private, and you can let the hot water run as long as you want. He spends this time every evening to count the amount of time he has left. It's a little mind game he plays with himself, and it keeps his math skills sharp. During every shower he figures out the months, weeks, days and hours he has left at Taft. Just another one of his many "routines."


Last week Ron wrote a letter to his friends and family which I sent to his network of friends. It was written the night before his 68th birthday, November 16, and I thought I would share a bit of it with you. He said that the last three birthdays have been some of the saddest days of his life, but that he hoped next year would be the start of some very happy birthdays. On November 17 (his actual birthday), 2008, my 93 year old father was buried. He was like a dad to Ron, and Ron loved and respected him more than you can imagine. On November 16 (the day before his birthday), 2009, Ron was sentenced in federal court to a 24 month sentence. Although he was not shocked after years maneuvering through the legal system, he was disappointed. This year Ron spent his birthday without his family for the first time in his life, and although his Taft family did their best to make it a festive day, it's still prison. Ron received lots of cards and letters on his birthday, and a group of friends bought Drumsticks and they had an ice cream party. Amazing how they find a way to celebrate events.

I feel our last few Thanksgivings have been very much the same as his birthdays, being they are so close together. Next year we will all be together, children and grandchildren too, for our first Thanksgiving with three new grandsons. It's something to look forward to. As for right now, I am thankful that I have a remarkable mother, three remarkable sons (and two daughters-in law) and three adorable grandsons. I don't know if they're remarkable yet, but they are adorable and perfect to me.

Friday was the busiest visiting day I have seen in the 10 months I've been coming to Taft. It was great to see so many men with visitors from far away. One of Ron's best friends had a visit from his sister and her husband from Chicago, another close friend of Ron's had his whole family visit from Indianapolis, several men had visitors from Phoenix and Hawaii. It's heartwarming to know there are people that think enough of these men to take a day (or weekend in some cases) out of their lives to visit them. No one can possibly know what these visits mean to the men that are incarcerated.

Making a difference in someone's life everyday is something I make a conscious effort to do. It may be just a friendly phone call to say hello that makes someone feel special or having coffee with a good friend. In the past Ron and I have had large Thanksgiving dinners to include friends that have no family and no one to celebrate with. These dinners have been meaningful to us, and hopefully to those we invited. Ron is also hoping to touch someone everyday. Friday during visitation he introduced me to several of his students (he's tutoring them in accounting) and one of his very good friends, Richard. I know he makes their lives better every day. He does the same for me, sometimes with a phone call, a joke on the phone, a letter or a hug when we greet each other on Fridays. He probably doesn't even know it, but these little things can make a big difference. Ron and I have so much to be thankful for, and even though we are not together right now, we talk often about how lucky we are for what we have and know that six months from now we will be together again.

Thanksgiving Leftovers

Don't discard the scraps from your turkey just yet. I have a fantastic way for you to use leftovers, particularly the small pieces that don't look so good. I saw a version of this on the Food Network, modified it a bit, and I think you will love it.

Asian Style Turkey Tacos

1 package refrigerator rolls (the one you slam on the counter to pop open)
1 bunch of scallions, diced
1 cucumber, peeled, seeded and cut into julienne strips
hoisin sauce
leftover cranberry relish
Siracha sauce or chili paste (optional)

Open refrigerator rolls and separate the rolls. Roll each roll individually with a rolling pin, to about 6-8 inches in diameter, about the size of a tortilla. Sprinkle with scallions, so that they become imbedded in the dough as you roll.

The roll looks like a pancake at this point. Place in frying pan and brown on both sides. This will serve as the "tortilla" for your taco.

Place cranberry relish + about 2 Tablespoons of hoisin sauce and puree the mixture. This will be the topping for your taco. If you'd like to add spice to the sauce, add just a little Siracha or chili paste. It will add a little kick to the sauce. This step is optional.

Put turkey in sauce pan, add a little soy sauce and a little hoisin if you like a sweet taste. Heat for a few minutes.

Assembly. Place refrigerator roll pancake (cooked) on plate. Add heated turkey, top with sliced cucumber and drizzle with cranberry/hoisin sauce. Fold like a taco and enjoy. You can spice this dish up by adding a little hot mustard to the sauce. Either way, your family will gobble them up.

Pizzeria Mozza=Fantastico

I've been dying for an opportunity to dine at Pizzeria Mozza, Mario Batali's pizzeria in Hollywood. Phil and Deborah were in town recently, and we all went to lunch at Pizzeria Mozza. What a treat. Just another pizza parlor? Hardly. The pizza crust was the best I've had in recent years. The outer diameter of the crust was dark, puffy and downright delicious. According to Phil the pizza is cooked at a very high heat (800 degrees), causing the dough to cook quickly and puff up around the edges. The menu consists of pizza, salads and appetizers. It's all so tasty I hardly know where to start.


First, Mario Batali, one of my favorite TV chefs has partnered with Nancy Silverton (La Brea Bakery) to create Pizzeria Mozza (pizzeria) and Osteria Mozza(fine dining and only open for dinner). The pizzeria is expensive, but well worth it. Pizzas range from $10.95-$23.95 for a 10 inch pizza. We ordered three. squash blossoms, tomato and burrata was the most expensive pizza on the menu, but not my favorite. I loved the funghi misti, fontina and thyme pizza. Loaded with a variety of earthy mushrooms and fontina cheese and thyme, it was rich and satisfying. The third pizza, rapini, cherry tomatoes, anchovies, olives and chiles was exceptional. However, it's only for those who love salt. Sausage is made in house, and the fennel sausage, panna, and red onions and scallions looked delicious. We had lots of appetizers, and I would want to try others on a return trip. White bean bruschetta with olive oil was exquisite. Cauliflower fritti, fried cauliflower in a spicy dipping sauce was so wonderful I am going to figure out how to make it. I've never had anything like it. The eggplant caponata was chunky, mildly spicy and a wonderful appetizer. other options included fried squash blossoms with ricotta, spicy bean salad with almonds, and crispy goat cheese with Umbrian lentils. Everything is interesting, unusual and delicious. You must order a variety for the table so you can taste everything.

Salads looked fantastic, but we were stuffed. Desserts are all made in house and looked like a meal in themselves. I wish I could have eaten more, it was that good.

The restaurant is located at the corner of Melrose and Highland in Hollywood. It took us 45 minutes to drive there on a Saturday, and my mother was saying before she arrived that there weren't many restaurants worth that kind of a drive. She was singing a different tune after lunch, and can't wait to go back.

It's hard to rave about a pizzeria, but this one is worth raving about, especially if you're like me and like interesting and unusual dishes. I'm already anticipating my next visit to Pizzera Mozza. I don't know when it'll be, but I know it's worth waiting for.

Something New in Self Defense

We all realize the importance of self defense in this scary world. But many of us have not learned even basic self defense techniques. The senior centers and the Y offer training for seniors that I feel is knowledge we should all have. Many of us don't want to take the time or money to learn self protection, but here's an idea. Keep a can of WASP SPRAY next to your bed or wherever you would keep pepper spray. A can of wasp spray will spray 20-30 feet and temporarily blind a person better than anything else, including pepper spray.

Yes, it will do this and much, much more. It will also kill a mouse, rat or a snake. I sure could have used this when I had my rat problem earlier in the year. And oh, yes, it will also kill wasps.

Obviously you can't carry a can of wasp spray around in purse, but how many of you carry pepper spray? I doubt many of you do. I don't. We all get complacent about selp protection. We feel we live in a safe area, and relatively speaking we do, but it doesn't hurt to have some protection. Just a reminder from time to time keeps us on our toes. Now, if you have wasp spray in your house, put it somewhere accessible so it's there if you need it and hope you never need it. (thank you Lynda for this information)

Forty Fourth Visit To Taft

Friday was my forty fourth visit to Taft, and my mom came to visit Ron too. She hadn't seen him in several months, but found him looking well and happy. I sometimes lose perspective because I see him every week, so it was nice to have her confirm what I already thought. David was there too, and the four of us had a wonderful visit. The visiting room was rather quiet today. Many families are waiting until Thanksgiving to visit. Thursday is a free day, as are Christmas and New Year's Day. I will not visit on Thanksgiving, but have turkey with my family, then visit Ron on Friday. He is happy with that visiting schedule, as there's lots of football to watch on Thanksgiving Day.

Ron and I spent a long time talking about restaurants and food Friday, and where we will eat when he is released. We do not have the same likes and dislikes when it comes to food, and by the time we finished our conversation I was feeling really sad. He wants a burger and fries, a steak, a big plate of pasta, barbeque and an apple pancake. I want none of those things, except the pancake. He doesn't want fish, or Mexican food, or stir fried veggies or anything that reminds him of rice and beans. I, on the other hand want fish, sushi, good Italian food in small portions, or creative dishes in appetizer size portions. How have we survived together all these years, is what I started to think? Here I've been fantasizing about eating out with Ron at some of the new restaurants I have recently enjoyed (Cucina Urbana, Tommy V's Urban Kitchen, Canapes), and he wants to go to the Claim Jumper! There's got to be some way we can work this out.

I decided that when he gets home I'm going to give him one month where he will make all the restaurant decisions. He can have his burger and fries, we'll go to P.F. Chang's for the garlic noodles, we'll go to a restaurant of his choice and get a steak, and of course we'll go to 101 Cafe for an apple pancake. After a month of eating what he's been deprived of for the past year (it'll be 17 months when he's released) we will return to normalcy, I hope. He will choose a restaurant one night, I'll choose the next. Compromise. That's what we're all about. Ron said there's no way I can understand the feeling of deprivation he feels from eating institutional food for so long. For some inmates, to whom food is not important, this is not a big deal, but to Ron, to whom food has always been an important part of life, this is very important. Ron's right. I can't begin to understand what it means to not have sushi when I want it, or a burger when I'm in the mood. I think I was feeling so sad during our conversation on Friday because I realized we both had different visions of where we'd be eating. I was saying to myself, "I've waited all this time to be back with my husband again, and he wants to go to the Claim Jumper?" I fantasized about taking him to Cucina Urbana or Pizzeria Mozza and all he wants is a good burger and fries or a barbequed beef sandwich from Phils.

I only hope he doesn't go crazy and cause his diabetes to go out of control. He has worked hard to get his blood sugar into the normal range, and erratic eating may throw his blood sugar off kilter. I won't be a nag, he knows exactly what he should and shouldn't eat, and that he must exercise. I plan to have him around for a long time. That being said, he has one month to taste all the tastes he's missed, then he can go back to eating like a diabetic who wants to live a long life. That's my plan for him when he gets home, and I hope it's his.

After our conversation was over and I was on my way home, I got a call from Ron. He said not to get upset about our conversation, because when he gets home and back to a regular routine, all this focus on food will probably disappear. After all, we never had a problem deciding where to eat in the past. Ron keeps telling me that being incarcerated causes one to focus on things that in everyday life would be irrelevant. I do understand this. He's got one month of complete control with the dinner plans, then we're back to joint decisions.

I wrote this blog just hours after I had been at Taft, and as I finished it I wanted to delete it. I thought, how petty of me to be worried about where we would eat dinner 6 months from now. I should be happy that we'll be able to have dinner together. Ron has so much time to think that often insignificant things like where we'll eat dinner take on much too much importance. I hope after today we have both put the choice of where to eat dinner in it's proper place. Does it really matter after 17 months apart if we eat dinner at The Claim Jumper, P.F. Chang's or Firenze? I don't think so.

America's Foodiest Town 2010: Boulder, Colorado

Hardly a day goes by that we don't see a new list of "Bests." Best places to live, best cities to find a job, best cities to find a husband, etc. Well, Bon Apetit recently named Boulder, Colorado America's Foodiest Town. I'm not exactly sure what that means. It doesn't mean it has the best restaurants or the best chefs. What it means to me is that it's a town where food is a way of life, from farm to consumer, from local farmers market to the dinner table.

Boulder has won just about every shiny happy lifestyle award a city can. Healthiest, most educated, most bicycle friendly and now foodiest. It turns out that, along with having fit, smart and eco-conscious citizens, Boulder is home to a number of innovative food companies, including Celestial Seasonings, Izze Beverage Company, Bhakti Chai, Evol Foods and several top-tier restaurants and one of the best farmers' markets in the country. This small town of just over 100,000 is a bellwether of a changing food culture across our land.

I love to visit Boulder. It's the perfect combination of rugged outdoor activities (biking, hiking, tubing, skiing), to beautiful walks down Pearl Street, to Saturday visits to the Farmers' Market, to just sitting outside having coffee at one of the many independent coffee houses. It's got an intellectual atmosphere, lots of bookstores to browse and so many wonderful restaurants. I have written about some of my favorites: The Kitchen, Salt, Happy Noodle, and each time I go there I try to try one or two new eateries. I will be there in December and hope to return with more reviews from America's foodiest city. Does food just taste better after exercise? Does all that clean air build up your appetite? You bet it does. Going to the farmers' market on Saturday morning is one of my favorite activities. I love going with my kids as they know everyone in town and buy many of the products for their business from local farmers. It's a real happening, something we don't have going on here in San Diego.

As much as I love Boulder and their small community, I think I'll stay right here in sunny San Diego, where on November 17, 2010, it is 75 degrees and sunny. No, we don't have the restaurants or the foodie community that Boulder does, but we've got WEATHER. Good restaurants and good chefs will come our way, they already have started, and local interest in producing fresh, sustainable foods will develop. For now I'll get my Boulder fix a few times a year when I visit Phil, Deborah and Lennon.

Another Foodie in the Family

I seldom write about my children on this blog, although that would be fun, but probably only interesting to me and them. But here are a few words about three wonderful young men.

Brian is 43 years old, married and the father of 5 month old twin boys. He's a CPA, inheritance tax referee for the state of California, and in his spare time umpires Little League baseball. I've known him since he was 2 years old. (he's Ron's son from his first marriage), and have always loved him as if he were my own. I feel lucky to have such dependable young man as the oldest.

Dave is 37 years old and one of those people that always lights up a party. He's a financial consultant for J.P. Morgan, a high school and college umpire, and an amateur chef. He's funny, witty and just great to be around. He's always there to cheer me up.

Phil is 32 years old, married and the father of 16 month old Lennon, COO of Evol Foods, rock climber and gourmet cook. I call him my Renaissance man. His business has led him into the world of organic foods, sustainable produce and environmental concerns. Recently he has started a blog to discuss such matters, and I think many of you foodies will enjoy it. It is www.foodiephilosophy.com. He writes a few times a week about issues related to the production of healthy foods and restaurants and observations he makes from his extensive travel. Check it out and see what you think. I hope you like it.

So that's my family. Three great young men, two wonderful daughters-in-law (I'll leave them for another day) and three adorable grandchildren. You already know my husband Ron better you ever thought you would due to my Monday blogs, so now you've met the whole family. I feel very lucky to have each and every one of them in my life.

Fresh Ricotta: It's Fresh and Easy

I love to experiment in the kitchen. Last month I tried my hand at homemade buffalo mozzarella. It was a big failure. I don't give up, though, so when I found a recipe for homemade ricotta cheese I decided to give it a try. Like the buffalo mozzarella, the ricotta was easy to do and my results were much more successful. I ended up with the most delicious tasting riccota you can imagine. Right out of the strainer, it's warm, smoothe and ever so delicious. I used a little extra salt. Since it contains no preservatives it should be used within 2-3 days. Here's the recipe for ricotta cheese, and a quick and simple salad I made using this deliciousness.

Fresh Ricotta Cheese

9 cups whole milk
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp salt
2 1/2 tablespoons white vinegar

Combine milk and heat over medium heat to 185 degrees, and a foam covers the top of the milk. Add salt and vinegar, mix in and let mixture sit for 5-10 minutes. During this time do NOT stir. Curds will form and the cheese will do its magic. After 10 minutes, remove curds to a strainer. What's left is the whey, which you throw away. Let the ricotta drain for 10 minutes, then taste. Ohhhhh, it's delicious, warm and creamy. However, I coolded it an made the following salad for dinner.


Fresh Ricotta, Beet and Heirloom Tomato Salad

1 large beet(serve plain or pickled)
Fresh ricotta cheese
1 large heirloom tomato

Boil water, drop in beet, cook for 45 minutes, or until skin can be easily removed with your fingers and beet is cooked. Remove skin, slice beets, or dice if you prefer. At this point you may serve the beets, or I made pickled beets by adding a bit of vinegar and little sugar to sliced beets and refrigerating for an hour.

Take heirloom tomato and quarter, but do not remove completely. In other words, cut through tomato almost all the way so you can separate and stuff. Fill with homemade ricotta. Complete the dish by taking sliced or diced beets and spreading around the tomato. Add a touch of olive oil and some freshly ground salt to taste for a fabulous lunch entree. I just love this salad.

One final way to enjoy the fresh ricotta for breakfast or dessert is to top ricotta with a little honey, and few nuts. I hope you enjoy making your own ricotta and some of these unique ways of serving it.

The Nibble

www.thenibble.com is my favorite new website. I might have mentioned it a few weeks ago, but I just recently had time to peruse the site. Thank you Barbara, for recommending it. Anyone interested in food trends, gourmet news, nutrition and recipes will get lost in this website, as I did.

The site is an offspring of Gourmet Magazine, so I thought I would like it just knowing that. I was a Gourmet subscriber for over 25 years, and when I moved from Los Angeles to Del Mar, threw away 25 years of magazines. I just couldn't take them with me. Anyway, if you subscribe to The Nibble as I did, they send you an e-mail once a week, with their pick of the week. Their pick will probably be a food product that you do not know of, but will want to try after reading all about it. In addition to the pick of the week (and a little contest that you can enter to win food prizes) there is a plethora of information on food and nutrition. On the left hand side of the website is a list of topics to click. Dietnibbles, Koshernibbles, Nutrinibbles, Best Reads and Gourmet News. Each topic will take to you a whole new world. For example, I clicked on nutrinibbles, and besides finding healthy products and recipes, I found archives with dozens of articles on topics like anioxidents, green tea, etc. You will find yourself lost in one interesting topic after another.

I am warning you in advance. Do not go to this website unless you have some time to really explore it. Lots of fun, some education and some new products to try. What more could a foodie like me want?

More Recipes From Boulder

Every time I go to Boulder to visit Phil, Deborah and Lennon, I come back with great meal ideas and some new recipes which I like to share with you. This past visit I was joined by my mom, so we had four generations together. It was wonderful

The first night there was a balmy summer evening after a scorching day, and Phil was planning a typical dinner. Salad of some sort from the garden, vegetables of some sort also from the garden, and fish or chicken.

We asked if we could help, and he said we could get busy shelling peas and fava beans for the salad. There we were, three city girls sitting outside on a warm summer evening shelling peas. It was a first for me, but with talking and watching Lennon, the job was done in no time. The salad he made was fresh from the garden and absolutely delicious. Here it is.

Pea and Fava Bean Salad with Mint Dressing

2 cups raw peas (or frozen for most of us)
1 cup shelled fava beans (remember to remove the membrane)
1/2 cup marcona almonds (slivered almonds would also be fine)
1/4 cup dates, well chopped
4 slices bacon, crumbled

blanche peas and fava beans in boiling water, then put in ice water to stop the cooking. Drain. Add almonds and dates. Then mix above with the following dressing

Mint Dressing
2 big handfulls of chopped mint
Vinegar and Oil to taste

Put chopped mint in a mortar and pestle, and smash well. Add olive oil and vinegar (approximately 2:1) to taste. Toss the pea mixture with the mint dressing. Top with crumbled bacon.

The salad looks great on a white plate, but it won't last. It's delicious...Enjoy

Forty Third Visit to Taft

Everytime I go to Taft I meet new people and hear new stories that touch my heart. Last week I enjoyed back to back visits with Ron due to Thursday, November 11 being a free day because of Veteran's Day. Carole and I drove to Taft on Thursday morning, visited all day, then went to the home of Linda and Rod in Bakersfield, and spent a fantastic evening with them. Early Friday morning we were back at Taft, visited until 1pm, then headed home. It was a tiring yet exhilerating two days. Not only do I look forward to my visits with Ron, but I also enjoy connecting with other prison wives. Taft has a new inmate from Indiana. Ron enjoys spending time with him, so when his wife and son came this weekend from Indianapolis, I was anxious to meet them. Another family I will enjoy seeing on visiting day. My circle of wives, girlfriends and mothers is expanding weekly, and I am constantly impressed with the strength and compassion of these women. They are all heroes in my eyes.

By talking to Ron everyday I have a good handle on how he's doing emotionally. He is an open book. Last week I could hear something in his voice that told me he was not feeling like his normal, cheerful self. He sounded a little down, so I was happy to have two days with him to talk and figure out why. He told me he had times when he felt very lonely, so we talked alot about this emotion.

"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty." Mother Theresa. Luckily Ron's loneliness is infrequent and short lived but many inmates have chronic depression and loneliness, mainly caused by long term incarceration. I asked Ron if he saw a difference in inmates that had visitation, letters and phone calls, and those that had little contact with the ouside world. He answer was an unequivocal "YES." Men who have outside people who care about them are more upbeat, positive and balanced. Many inmates who have been down for a long time(incarcerated) are no longer in touch with the outside. Often friends and family give up on them. This causes depression, and many inmates withdraw, becoming loners, spending most of their leisure time sleeping. Ron describes many of them as having either a sad, or angry face. Many times these men had letters and visits initially, but through the years they have been forgotten. This is a tragic situation for so many men and it does not bode well for their chance of success when they are released into society.

Ron's loneliness centers around his limited ability to connect with his family. When he is missing someone, he calls them. If he can't get in touch with them he gets frustrated, as he has no way of reaching them. Another situation that causes Ron to feel lonely is a family problem. He is afraid that a serious family problem may tear us apart, and there's little he can do. It is exasperating not to be able to freely and spontaneously communicate with your loved ones. Days may go by before being able to actually talk to a person you are having a conflict with. This means that there is so much time for Ron to sit and think about all the various solutions to a problem and to imagine what the other person might be thinking. As one psychologist told me long ago, most of the worst case scenarios that you think about never come to pass, but it doesn't keep most people from thinking about them.

Ron finds that a structured day keeps him balanced and forward thinking. A routine is one of the keys to keeping balanced and fighting off loneliness. The goal is not to get too high or too low. The day before visitation is often a high day, and when visitation is over an inmate often feels low. Stay on an even keel. That's what Ron strives for. Don't get the idea that Ron is lonely or depressed from what I have just written. He's not, yet he does have his moments. Usually a five minute talk with me will cheer him up and remind him of what we have, and how soon we will be together again. It sounds corny, but that works for him.

The Plight of the Mountain Gorilla

As an animal lover extrodinaire, and a conservationist I have long been interested in the future of African wildlife. Every year it seems you hear about another animal faced with extinction, usually at the hands of man. I have been to Africa twice, but have never had the experience of seeing a mountain gorilla in the wild. What a thrill that would be. I had a tentative trip planned in the 90's but it never materialized, and from what I read now I may never get to see them. Here's what's currently happening to the mountain gorilla of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Because of the violence of the civil war, and the deforestation of their habitat for illicit coal production, the critically endangered mountain gorillas of the Democratic Republic of Congo's Virunga National Park have been having a hard time of it lately. The rangers who try to protect them are not doing well either. 120 of them have been killed in the park since 1994.

With only 700 mountain gorillas life in the world and 81 of which inhabit the reserve, even the loss of one individual is an immeasurable tragedy. So when in 2007, suspected charcoal traffickers sneaked into Virunga, shot four gorillas execution style and left their bodies as a message about park officials' new campaign against coal production many groups fighting for the survival of the gorillas fought back.

The good news is that with international attention turned towards the perilous situation, the rebels and the government made a tenatitve truce over gorilla conservation and a recent population census claims that 10 new additions have been born to gorilla families. This is great news to me. Perhaps I will someday get to see these beautiful creatures up close and personal.

Classic Melting Hot Chocolate Souffle

I don't know who created it, but many years ago while dining at the then new Roy's Restaurant, I tasted their signature dessert, a molten lava hot chocolate souffle. I think I was in Denver. My son Phil was working at Roy's while going to the University of Denver, and trying to figure out a career path. He thought he might want to be a chef, but a year in the kitchen changed his mind. Anyway, I am not a great chocolate lover, but this dessert was something special. Warm, cake like souffle on the outside, hot chocolate oozing out from the inside. A chocolate lovers dream. Now you can find this dessert most everywhere, and NOW you can make it at home. It's quite simple, and your family or guests will be most impressed. Here's Roy's famous dessert.

Classic Melting Hot Chocolate Souffle

1 c. sugar
3 T. cornstarch
4 eggs plus 4 egg yolks
12 T. butter
8 oz. semisweet dark chocolate (good quality

In a mixing bowl, combine sugar and cornsatarch. In a separate bowl, mix eggs and yolks together. In a saucepan, bring butter to a simmer, then add the chocolate. Mix until the chocolate is smooth and begins to simmer along the edges. Combine this chocolate mixture with the sugar and cornstarch and mix thoroughly.

Add eggs and mix at low speed until sugar is dissolved and mixture is smooth. Refrigerate overnight in a bowl.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line 4 metal souffle rings with parchment paper and coate with non-stick spray. On a baking sheet, place each ring on a square of parchment paper. Fill 2/3 of each ring with the filling. Bake for 28-30 minutes. Remove from baking sheet. While holding each mold with tongs, slide a metal spatula underneath and transfer to a plate. Gently lift the mold off, remove the paper and serve with ice cream or whipping cream. Serves 4.

The instructions sound a little complicated, but if you have the right mold, it is really very easy. Everyone will be so impressed, and you will have a wonderful new chocolate dessert in your repetoire. Enjoy.

Travel Means Trying New Foods

One of my favorite things to do while traveling is to sample the local flavors. I like to do that at home too, but while traveling I get a chance to try new preparations of old flavors or taste foods I've never even seen before. My recent cruise with my mom offered me just that experience.

Two of our cruise stops were in Portugal. I had always heard about grilled sardines as a specialty of Portugal and I was determined to try them. We stopped in Oporto, our very first stop, and I hit the jackpot. We had just finished cleaning out a little store of all their scarves (well, not really, but it felt like we bought out the whole store) and were hungry for lunch. Should we go back to the cruise ship where we knew we would get a fantstic meal, or should we try a local cafe and get the grilled sardines? It was no dilemma for me. I'll always go fo the local cuisine.

The cafe we chose was outdoors in the center of a large pedestrian promenade. Great for people watching, and as I soon discovered, great for eating. The picture menu made it easy to order, and I immediately saw just what I wanted. Grilled sardines, boiled potatoes, and a salad with several vegetables. All this for 8 euros. When my order arrived I was sorry we hadn't split the meal. Several large grilled sardines, potatoes and vegetables were a beautiful sight. Much more than I could ever finish, but I did my best. The sardines were sweet and tender and different than what I expected. After all, all I knew about sardines is that they came in a little tin and were packed in oil. Portugese sardines are a whole different breed. They were about 8 inches in length with bones that must be removed. The ones we get in the can are eaten whole. I loved my meal, but I wasn't done yet. Across the street from our cafe was a bakery, and we had to sample the local tarts that everyone was eating. It's a little tart shell filled with a custard like confection. It was very firm, with a burnt topping. Wonderful. I polished it off before we got halfway down the next block.

When you're on a cruise all your meals are included so you tend to want to go back to the ship for your meals, but you miss so much. I would never have had my sardines or my tart which to me, were so much a part of the trip. It's so interesting to see first hand how different countries take the same ingredients and turn them into something very different. I'll have to go back to Portugal someday to see what other deliciousness I can discover.

Old Photos, Great Memories

It's been almost 8 years since we moved from Los Angeles to San Diego. Because of limited space, we stored numerous boxes in my mom's garagae in Los Angeles. She's trying to clean her garage now, so I have taken the boxes, one by one over the past month, gone through them and eliminated what I could, then organized the rest and repacked the stuff in boxes that are now in my garage. In the process, I have looked at hundreds of photos of friends and family from the past 40 years, and have had a beautiful trip down memory lane.

There is nothing like old photos to make you feel OLD! I look at pictures of myself and Ron with the kids when they were small and say to myself, "Were we ever that young? Were we ever that thin?" I lingered over several groups of photos longer than others.

For Ron's 50th birthday party we had a huge 60's bash at the Friar's Club in Beverly Hills. We took over the whole place. Everyone was dressed in 60's garb, popular food from the 60's was served and we had a DJ and dancing all night. It was so much fun. The most nostalgic part of looking at the pictures was that many of the people in them have died or we're no longer in contact with. It's amazing, the power of a photograph. You can really relive the memory from a snapshot.

Another group of pictures that I reminisced over were the ones I took at Ron's 60th birthday party. This was the last party we had in our house in Brentwood, just a few months before we moved out. That was a difficult party and one we debated over whether or not to even have, but in the end decided to go forward with. It was in 2002, when all of our problems were coming to a head. All of Ron's clients, friends and family were there, but sadly most of the people present are no longer people we see. Several have died, others no longer talk to us. Still, the pictures keep the event alive forever.

Many of the pictures that I loved looking at were ones we'd taken from many trips to Europe, some alone, some with friends and some with the family. One picture made me laugh out loud when I remembered the story that went with it. The picure is of Ron, my 16 year old son Phil and his 16 year old cousin Mike, lying on lounge chairs on the beach in Cannes. They're grinning from ear to ear. Why? A group of young ladies, topless had just walked by. I just laughed when I remembered that afternoon. Right after I snapped the picture, the boys got up and followed the topless girls down the beach, trying to be discreet, but doing their best to get another look. What fun that afternoon was, and what great memories I have from that vacation.

All the pictures are back in a big plastic bag again, just a little smaller bag than before. I don't know if I'll ever get around to organizing them into albums. I doubt it. Today it is so much easier to keep photos arranged and easily available for viewing with the computer. I'd love to have a slide show of some of the old pictures. However, there is something I love about going through the old photos one by one, touching them and remembering when the picture was taken. It brings it all to life for me. What wonderful memories.

Forty Second Visit to Taft

Last week I mentioned that Ron's concept of time has changed. It's really more that he values time more than ever before. He has measured time in minutes, days, weeks, months and years and knows how each amount of time feels. As of Saturday, Ron had completed 300 days of his sentence. When I visit on Friday, he will have 200 days left. When he is back home in June, he will never view time the same. We talked about this last week. In the past Ron would often go reluctantly to a dinner or party with people he did not know or like. That will not happen anymore. He will not spend precious time with people he doesn't like or doing things he doesn't want to do. When you have lost 17 months of your life to incarceration you look at things very differently. This is something I will have to remember and be sensitive to. How often do you go to a party you really don't want to be at? We've all done it. My attitude, and Ron's, used to be "It's just a couple of hours. No big deal." Well, to Ron a couple of hours IS a big deal. I thoroughly understand this. It's not a matter of being selfish, because Ron is a very compromising person and has done many things he hasn't wanted to do. We all have. But now he realizes how precious time is, how it's something we never get back, and how he wants to make every minute of the rest of his life count. I will support him in this. "Time as at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions." John Randolph

Friday Ron and I spent some quality time with our family that he wouldn't have missed for anything. Our son Brian, his wife Beth, and twins Ryan and Spencer, age 4 1/2 months, came to visit Ron at Taft. This was the first time Ron had seen the twins, and he was a little anxious about the visit, mainly because he wasn't sure how Beth would feel about visiting Taft, but her casual, relaxed attitude immediately put him at ease. And the twins! He couldn't wait to hold them, rock them, play with them. He thoroughly enjoyed it, and looks forward to another visit from them in the spring. We took a few family pictures before the end of their 2 hour visit, which Ron will treasure. After they left, Ron said he was "over the top" on the happiness scale. I asked why, and he said he didn't know, but I sure did. What could make anyone happier than a visit from his children and brand new babies? It's visits like this that keep Ron going, counting the days until June. According to Ron's calculations, tomorrow is day #299. We're getting there!

If you're a lover of lattes and frappes, stop by The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Tuesday, November 9. They will be selling their specialty drinks for $1 (lattes and ice blendeds), with the money going to charity. A great cause and a yummy afternoon pick me up. Enjoy.

More Ways to Save Money

I haven't given you many money saving tips lately, but thanks to my mom, who's always thinking about me and about stories for my blog, I have the July-August copy of the AARP Bulletin. In it are 99 great ways to save. Many of them you've heard before but there are a few that bear repeating or are actually new to me. Here are the ones I found of interest.

1. Save water in an old toilet by putting a plastic bottle full of water, weighted with pebbles in your tank.
2. Save on printer ink by using the Century Gothic font. A recent study showed that this particular font consumes about a third less in than industry-standard Ariel. That will save about $20 a year for a home user printing 25 pages a week.
3. Ask your doctor for a discount. I did this last year and was pleasantly surprised. There was a time when I was uninsured for 8 months, which I explained to the doctor, and she graciously gave me a 30% discount. Go to healthcarebluebook.com before your appointment to find out what it pays area doctors for a similar consultation or test. Try to negotiate directly with the doctor, not the office personnel.
4. To save on groceries, check out mygrocerydeals.com. Here you can compare prices in your favorite supermarkes by product, category or store. You must register for this site but it is free. Trader Joe's is NOT one of the stores you can compare.
5. Buy gift cards for up to 30% off their face value at plasticjungle.com, giftcardrescue.com, and giftcardsagain.com, where cards are sold by gift-getters who don't want them. I haven't tried this one yet, but it sounds great.
6. Call 1800-GOOG-411. Give your location and speak a name or business category. You'll get a list of matches and the service will then dial your choice. The big advantage is that it's free.

Hope these tips will be of some use to you. I think the gift cards and the 411 tip are especially helpful. I will have another blog with more tips soon.

Solving Everyday Problems With The Noble Cucumber

Recently the New York Times higlighted creative and fancy ways to solve common problems with the cucumber. I learned so much from this, and hopefully you will too. Using the cucumber to solve many household problems will save you lots of money, so give the amazing cucumber a try.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day. Just one cucumber contains B1,B2, B3, B6, folic acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, magnesium, phosphorous, potassium and zinc. Who needs a multi vitamin?

2. Try a cucumber as an afternoon snack for a quick pick me up. Cucumbers are a good source of B vitamin.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up when you take a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice on the mirror. It will elminate the fog and add a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices of cucumber in a small pie tin. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

4. Do your shoes need a shine? Rub a freshly cut slice of cucumber over the shoe. It's chemicals will provide a shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

5. Looking for a "green" way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean. Not only will it remove years of tarnish but it will bring back the shine.

6. Made a mistake using a pen? Use the outside of the cucumber as an eraser. It also works great on crayons and markers.

7. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeeky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub on the squeeky area. Voila! The squeek is gone.

8.Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out to the pool, try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along the problem area for a few minutes. The phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming the outer layer and reducing the visibility. It works great on wrinkles, too. Sorry, it's only temporary.

Oh, by the way, the cucumber is also great to eat. It's a wonderful diuretic and cleanser. I cannot vouch for the reliability of any of these remedies, but heck, I'm willing to try them.

A Terrible, Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Remember this book from when your kids were young? Well, I had one of those days last week, but I, with a little help from my friends, turned it around. It was a Wednesday, and I was driving myself and three friends to the meeting place for our wanderers event. In all there would be about 20 of us who were planning to tour Mt. Hope Cemetery with guide Patty from Urban Safaris, then lunch at The Big Kitchen with owner Judy, and hear stories about old San Diego. It was one of those days when what can go wrong will go wrong.

We started our drive to the cemetery, me, Regina, Carol and Angela. Everything was fine until we're on the 805 near the 52 when we heard a terrible noise. At first I thought I ran over something, and then a few seconds later I heard the noise again. I thought something was falling off from under the car. I carefully pulled over to the side. There were no off ramps, so I pulled as far over as I could on the 52. I got out, surveyed the car, looking under the chassis, but could find nothing. Luckily I didn't get blown away. Everytime a big truck passed it felt like I might be picked up and swept away. Within a minute or two the Highway Patrol came to the rescue. The first thing he did was signal us to get back in the car. Obviously it's very dangerous to get out of the car on the freeway which I knew, but I had to examine the car. I showed him my AAA card, he called the dispacher, and within about 10 minutes our AAA truck showed up. In the meantime, a group of 20 was waiting for us at the cemetery. I called and told them we would not be joining them. I had no idea at that point what was wrong with the car. The only thing I knew for sure was that we would not get to Mt. Hope. No way.

The AAA guy was great, and in two seconds told me I had a flat tire on the front left. Why couldn't I see that? I guess I should have figured it out as we smelled rubber burning when we pulled off the freeway and saw remnents of tire just a few feet behind the car. The next project was emptying the trunk to get the spare tire out. I am prepared for anything, and my trunk is proof of that. Three yoga mats, a set of golf clubs, a golf cart, packages of golf balls, tees, shoes and sweatshirts, bottled water, bridge supplies for marathon bridge (boards, bidding boxes, etc), canvas bags for shopping of every conceivable size and shape, CD's, and my gym clothes. We removed all of this so the AAA guy could change the tire which he did in short order, and we were set to go. Unfortunately the spare tire is not meant for driving long distances, so we went directly to the Discount Tire Store in Encinitas. $547 later I had four new tires.

While the tires were being fixed, the four of us went to Souplantation for a wonderful, relaxing lunch. Thanks, Angela for lunch. That helped soothe the wound of the $547. Everyone was a great sport, and we turned what could have been a tragedy into a fun adventure. When I saw the shredded tire I felt lucky to be alive. It was wonderful to have three friends to share this experience with. Finally, three hours after we started out, I had everyone back to their cars, safe and sound. One of my friends asked when we would go back and see the cemetary, and I told her, "In my next life." No more Mt. Hope for me. I said goodbye to Regina, Carol and Angela, and decided to make it a "car" day. I drove to Carlsbad and had the pit in my windshield fixed. The car looks great, drives beautifully and I'm ready for the long drive to Los Angeles and Taft that I will make tomorrow.

No, that picture is not of any of us changing the tire. If it were, we wouldn't have been waiting 10 minutes for help, but probably just 10 seconds.

Smashburger Has Come To Del Mar

I've been waiting months for the opening of Smashburger in Del Mar and finally had an opportunity to try it today. It's a burger chain, new to Southern California, and although we've got plenty of burger joints to choose from, I always like to see what's new. A few women from our book club had lunch there today, and we all came away very content.

Smashburger is located on the corner of 15th Street and Camino Del Mar, on the street level of the Del Mar Plaza. They have comfortable booths inside, and tables and umbrellas on the front patio. It is clean, contemporary and uncluttered. The help is friendly and efficient. Prices are moderate. 1/3 pound burgers start at $4.99, although add ons make them more. Drinks are only $1.79, and fries and onion rings are $1.99 per order. The menu is straightforward, and there are choices for the carnivore and vegetarian alike.

I had the classic burger with an order of fried pickles and ranch dressing and a soda. I enjoyed my burger. The bun was fresh and tasty, the burger was good, and the toppings were fresh and crisp. (lettuce, pickles and tomato). My only complaint is the same one I have about many burger restaurants these days. They won't make a rare burger. I love a rare burger, and the best they'll do is medium. That kind of spoils the whole thing for me, but if you don't mind your meat a little more cooked, you'll be very happy. The fried pickles were just ok. However, the fries were delicious, nice and thin like McDonald's. The onion rings, which I didn't eat, were thin and crispy, and looked delicious. Judy had a salad, topped with grilled chicken, cranberries, nuts and a nice vinegrette. Jack had a breaded chicken sandwich and said he enjoyed that too. Smashburger also offers hot dogs and milk shakes, made with Haagen Dazs ice cream.

The meal is brought to you on a cute little tray. I loved the presentation. I would definitely go there again. No one rushes you and the meal is good. Is it my favorite burger? Not at all. I love Hodad's in Ocean Beach and The Claim Jumper. Those are probably my two favorites. But Smashburger is a nice choice for good, fresh food, and oh yes, they also offer a children's menus, so take the kids or grandkids next time you're in Del Mar.

Forty First Visit to Taft

I thought after 40 visits to Taft I would know the route in my sleep and would have seen everything there is to see along the way. Every cow, horse, diner, motel and gas station. But alas, today I saw something that took my breath away. I saw a field of what looked like wild horses (a dozen or so) racing in the wind. Oh, what a sight. I happen to be a huge horse lover, so this really thrilled me. All those times I've passed them and never seen them. It goes to show you can always see something new in looking at the old.

After that wonderful early morning sight I arrived at Taft, and we had one of our best visits ever. Our son David with us for about two hours, which is always a delight. The rest of the time we spent deep in conversation. The topic of the day was "How will friends and acquaintances react to Ron when he returns home?" This is a popular topic with inmates close to release. It's easy to be supportive of an inmate when he's in prison, but when he gets home will he fit into your social circle, will he embarass you, or will he intrigue you? It will be interesting to see what occurs. Many people will want to befriend him or refriend (I know that's not a word) him because he will add something to the mix. He will always have interesting stories to share that will intrigue and astonish others. But will people treat him as he was treated before, the funny, witty and thoroughly unique Ron, or will they treat him as Ron, the ex con? As I've said all along, Ron's prison experience will only add another dimension to his personality and in my opinion, make him more interesting. I hope to enjoy many years hearing his new stories.

I have always said that life with Ron has not been boring. In fact it has been fascinating, and anyone who knows him well knows what I am talking about. Coming home is scary for all inmates. They have been sheltered in prison, some for a very long time, and although everyone says relationships will go on as before, you don't know until it happens. Talking about this topic is just another way the Taft campers pass their idle time. Thinking about the future and how they will be accepted when they return to society is always on their mind. Everyone wants to fit in, and Taft campers have a unique challenge. I am confident that my camper will shine.

Next week I will talk about how Ron's concept of time has changed. You may be surprised at what he has to say.