Remembering My Dad

It's been more than a year and a half since my dad passed away at 93, but hardly a day goes by that I don't think of him. Father's Day made me reflect on him, and his influence on me. You don't realize while you're growing up the influence your parents have on your personality, intellect and character. It's years later, when you hear their voice in your head that you realize how far reaching their influence is.

My earliest memories are of my father as a story teller. From the time I was very young, bedtime to me meant that Dad would tell me a story. No reading stories for him. He would create his own stories that were far more interesting than anything in a book. He loved to create jungle stories filled with adventure, and later my sister and I would hear war stories. When my own children were young, one of their favorite parts of sleepovers with Grandma and Grandpa was bedtime. My Dad created long stories for them, told over weeks or months. They couldn't wait for the next installment.

I remember my Dad teaching me to swim, to ride a bike, to play the piano,to fly a kite and to shoot a bow and arrow. He always wanted me to take fencing lessons, I don't know why, but I never did. He was a good teacher, very patient most of the time and I loved spending time with him. He also taught me to play chess, checkers and gin, and we played often.

I was lucky, as I had a dad that worked at home. Most of my friends didn't see their dads much, they were all out making a living. My dad was a composer and worked at home, so we had him around most of the time. When he was working we weren't allowed to bother him, but just knowing he was available was a great comfort.

I don't remember my Dad being involved in school decisions like what classes I took or helping me with homework. I think that was my mom's department. I do remember being praised when I came home with good grades. That encouraged me to work hard.

It's funny how so many details from childhood are hard to remember, but I do know childrearing was very different. Men's roles were more defined in the 40's and 50's. I don't remember my Dad ever taking me to the doctor or taking care of me when I was sick. That was a woman's job.

One other thing I remember fondly is the letters he used to write me when I was away at summer camp and later, when I was away at college. He was funny and creative and his letters always made me feel good, especially the little drawings with which he ended each letter.

I have always believed that every day should be Mother's or Father's Day. Just honoring your parents one day a year is not living by the fifth commandment, "Honor thy father and mother". I think the word "everyday" should be added to the end of that commandment. I see so many young children today who are disrespectful to their parents and it doesn't feel right. These children will most likely grow up and have their children treat them the same way.

The older I get the more the lessons my parents taught me become a part of me. That's a good thing, because I like what I have become, the values I hold dear, and the character I possess. I give them both credit for developing these traits in me, but today I give special thanks to my Dad.