Twenty Second Visit to Taft

I've noticed a big change in Ron in the past two weeks. Two weeks ago he was having a very hard time. He was depressed, bored and lonely. He is still bored and lonely but he is definitely NOT depressed. The support network at Taft, and I assume all institutions, is amazing. If an inmate is willing to reach out to others for support, he will definitely get it. Ron has a small group of close friends that he is able to talk openly to, thank goodness. That really got him through a difficult period. They have lots of time to talk and listen. No one has any place to go, so Ron had some very good listeners who helped him. Early on Ron spoke about each man coming to terms with his sentence, and until that happened they could not move forward. Ron definitely had that meeting with himself early on, but after 5-6 months, the boredom sets in, and they need to revisit that time when they first arrived when they came to terms with their future.

Recently Ron has been thinking more about his future. When he thinks about business, he gets excited. That has always been what makes him tick. Planning what he will do, talking to others about his ideas and talking to me about the future bring him alive. It's great to see.

Last week I talked a little about loneliness. I can only speak for myself, and although I lead a busy, full life, there are still moments. It can't be helped. At night just before falling asleep, I feel lonely. Some Sunday afternoons when I don't plan anything to do I feel lonely. Holidays can be lonely, but so far I have tried to keep busy. For Ron loneliness is a little different, as he has much more down time. Afternoons on his bunk are lonely, weekends when there's nothing to do are also lonely. His loneliness is different because he's in a new environment with new people. There's an issue of who he can trust. He's got to be a really good judge of character. I am in a comfortable place with people I know I can trust. I can open up to people and know it won't hurt me.

I guess this is all part of the roller coaster ride we're on. It's funny that I use that analogy, because I hate roller coasters and always have. But I've always used the roller coaster analogy when referring to life in general. It seems to fit so perfectly. The best part of the a real roller coaster ride to me is the climb up a steep hill, and in real life that's where we are right now. I'm going to enjoy the ride, and hope it's a very steep hill.