Twenty First Visit To Taft

Ron and I had a wonderful visit Friday. Our son David also drove up to spend time with his Dad, which always makes for lively conversation and lots of fun. We were all excited about the birth of twin boys on Thursday in Los Angeles. The father is Brian, Ron's oldest child, and the mother is his wife Beth. They have waited a long time for this blessed event, and everyone was very emotional.

Luckily I was able to bring a grainy picture of the twins for him to see Fiday. He will hang the pictures in his locker and get a big smile on his face every morning when he looks at them.

Even our son David was emotional about the birth of his nephews, and told us that he started thinking about how Ron couldn't be at the birth and that David's Grandpa (who passed away about 1 1/2 years ago and he was very close to) would never get to know them either. It made him very sad.

Special events are particularly hard for someone who is incarcerated. I could tell when Ron called me and I said, "Congratulations, Grandpa", that he was choked up. Unfortunately he was not there for the birth, will not be there for the briss, and will not see much of them during their first year. Fortunately, Brian and Beth plan to bring the boys to Taft as soon as they can handle a two hour car trip. That will be very special. A few months ago one of Ron's friends had a visit from his family, including a six month old grandaughter. He was so emotional when they arrived. The tears were streaming down his face. Tears of joy.

Special events are particularly hard for men that are incarcerated. They know they are missing parties, births, funerals, birthdays and graduations. It makes them feel even more isolated. Taft Camp does offer furloughs to some inmates for these events, but it is usually required that an escort accompany the inmate. Most men don't want that. However, Ron has applied for some extra phone minutes for June and July and will most likely receive them. Good thing, because we love to talk and our 300 minutes every month goes very quickly. On the positive side, births, deaths, graduations and the like bring families closer together. The birth of the twins has brought our three boys closer than they've been in years. Texting, calling, and sending photos, they're in constant contact with each other. It's great to see.

Two of Ron's good friends recently missed special events in the lives of their families. One man missed the college graduation of his daughter, another was unable to attend the funeral of his 90 year old father. The inability to attend these events makes the inmate feel especially lonely. I will talk more about loneliness next week but for now I'll just say that happy or sad events make both of us feel lonelier, as we are unable to celebrate these events together. More next week about this.

I have always said to Ron that our life together has been a roller coaster. We started at the bottom, with nothing, rode it all the way to the top with lots of ups and downs along the way, took the big plunge down, and are now creeping back up, slowly but surely. I know there will be bumps along the road, but we're on the way up and our future looks bright.