Fortieth Visit to Taft

One of the happiest days for any prisoner is visitation day. Friday was an especially happy day for Ron. Our friends Laurie and George came all the way from San Diego to visit. That is very special and above and beyond what one would expect. In fact, Ron has told me he has no expectations about people coming to visit. It does, however, bring him great joy, and will be something he will be talking about for weeks to come. To know that someone cares enough to take an entire day out of their life to drive up and see him, well, it means alot.

Everyone who knows Ron has tried to support him, and me, in their own way. Hardly a week goes by that I don't get a call from one of his softball team mates, card cronies or old friends. "Is there anything I can do to help?" is what they all want to know. I have been so fortunate to have so many people there to lean on. My own friends call often just to chat, to have lunch, to just be there for me. Whether I want magazines or recipes, my friends deliver. Many friends send him cards and letters (most of which he doesn't answer, but are much appreciated) which keep his spirits high. He's had friends visit from Santa Barbara, Phoenix and next week our New York friends will visit. He has had a visitor every week since he's been there, and this says a lot for our friends and family.

The prison system puts the highest priority on visitation. Work, classes or medical appointments are missed when a prisoner has a visitor. The BOP (Bureau of Prisons) realizes the importance of keeping inmates connected with their loved ones. Ron is fortunate to have so many loved ones, as I found out today.

You look around the visiting room and see inmates laughing, eating and playing games with their visitors. It's a happy place as I've said before, but what I sometimes lose track of, is that there were only about 30 inmates who had visitors on Friday. Saturday and Sunday are also visiting days, so perhaps there are 100+ inmates who have a visitor on any given week. That means over 400 men have NO visitors. In fact, there are men that have been incarcerated years without a single visitor. How sad. The men that don't have visitors usually don't get mail either. For whatever reason, they have become isolated from the outside world and it seems that adjustment to society will be extremely difficult for these men.

I asked Ron how other prisoners react when they know their friend or bunkie has a visitor. He said they are openly delighted, but inside some of them are crying. Some of the men have such diffiult family situations that they have not seen their children in years. But as I stated last week, one of the essentials of happiness is HOPE. Everyone in prison is always hoping for a better tomorrow. The best we on the outside can do is support them. For each of us that means something different. For some it means calling and supporting me, for others it means sending Ron books, cards and letters, and for some it means visiting. This is Ron's 41st week at Taft. Only 31 weeks to go, and I plan to be there every step of the way.

I think of the prison experience and how outsiders handle it as similar to having a very sick friend. Everyone deals with it differently. Some will visit the friend regularly, some will take him to appointments, some will call, others will bring food. It's the same for those with a friend or loved one in prison. We all do something, what we can in our own way.

A special HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my son David today. He and Brian, the two sons that live in Los Angeles, have been visiting Ron regularly, write letters to him and talk to him. Phil (who lives in Colorado) and Ron have stayed connected during this time too, by letter and phone. I am appreciative of everyone one who has been there for us. It means so much.