I Can't Do What I Used To Do

I just returned from spending four wonderful, but exhausting days with my son Phil, his wife Deborah, and their two children, Lennon, age 4 1/2 and Elsa age 2. Did I ever do what they did when I was their age? I guess so! There's a reason child rearing is for the young. When I was in my 30's I had three children, two dogs, a large house (yes, I had a housekeeper), a husband, and a full time job. I also took my kids for play dates, baseball practice, piano lessons, doctor appointments, marketing, did the cooking, helped with homework, and occasionally saw my husband. It was a grueling time, but also very rewarding.

As the children left the house and I worked less and less, my activities were more centered around my self. Reading, cooking, walking, gym exercise and yoga, golf, part time travel agent and mystery shopper, Brandeis classes, bridge and boogie boarding have replaced my full time job and child rearing duties. Still, I have found in the last 15 years my body can't do what it could do in my mid 50's.I started to analyze how much less I do now than I did just 15 years ago.

Today a typical day looks something like this. Get up at 6:45, take Pepper for a quick 15 minute walk, then head to the gym for a one hour spin class, group strength class or barre class. Come home, clean the house, maybe write a blog, and do some paper work. Often I will take Pepper to the dog park for some exercise. Lunch time may find me at a mystery shop location or possibly out for lunch with my book club friends after discussing a good book. Each day I usually have a book club, a Brandeis class, an outing with my Newcomer friends, or a long walk with a friend. If the weather is right, I might be at the beach boogie boarding or walking. Late afternoon is "nap" time. I don't often actually nap, but I do lie down and rest every afternoon from 4-5. I will usually relax, read a book (try to read an hour a day), and watch a little political TV. (Chris Matthews or Chris Hayes). Then, make dinner and either go out to play bridge for the evening, read or veg out and watch The Voice or Amazing Race. Don't say anything about my choice of shows! By 10pm I've had it. I get in bed and doze through whatever Ron chooses to watch, rarely getting to the end of the show. It sounds like a pretty full day as I write it down, but compared to what I used to do, it's not.

I've found one of the most important things about aging is to recognize your limitations. I can no longer do step classes at the Y or high intensity zumba classes. I need to spin, which is non impact, do yoga or walk. I can no longer go all day and night. I need to have a rest in between. I can no longer eat late dinners. I just don't feel good when I do. I can no longer stay up late at night. I fade around 10pm. I found out that I can't lift the grandchildren the way I'd like to, or run after them the way I could a few years ago. I need to accept that I'm aging, I'm changing. I can either fight it or accept it, and modify what I do to make sure I stay safe. I hope to be around for awhile, and I will just keep modifying what I do and how I do it, because I have no intention of becoming a couch potato that sits home and does nothing. That's just not me.