Forty Eighth Visit to Taft

Holiday time is traditionally a difficult time for those of us who are alone. It's a family time, and if you don't have a family around, it can be very lonely. This will be my first year without Ron in 41 years. Luckily the holidays have never been a big deal to us. Hanukkah is already over, and we usually spend Christmas day at the movies or having a nice dinner with our family. This year will be different. My new extended family, people I've met through the prison experience, have stepped in.

I was invited to spend Christmas Eve with Linda and Rod, my friends who live in Bakersfield. Christmas day is a free visiting day, so Carole and I will drive to Taft on Friday, visit our husbands, then go to Bakersfield and spend the evening with Linda and Rod. The next day is Christmas, and we will go back to Taft and visit. I am really looking forward to another back to back visit. Linda and Rod are new friends, but already I feel like I've known them forever. We have such a great time together. I am so grateful for their friendship.

Friday Ron told me that we have about 172 days left. Piece of cake. I could not have said that six months ago, nor could he. Today he told me that after he was there 5 months he couldn't imagine how he was going to make it. He said the days dragged, he was miserable and he couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. He never told me this at the time, in fact he told me quite the opposite. There was only one period over the summer that I could read "depression" on his face. I'm not sure how he got over the hump, but he did. I think it was talking to people like Michael and David and Richard that got him through the dark periods and helped him focus on the future.

Ron told me Friday that a good part of each day is spent thinking about me, and how things will be when we're back together again. I do the same thing. Each inmate has his own way of dealing with incarceration. For someone like Ron, who will be there 17 months, the job is so much easier than for many men who have years, and in many cases decades to serve. The key for Ron is keeping his eye on the ball, for the goal line is in sight.

The old timers at Taft feel like Taft is their home. Many have not known any other home for many years. They feel inmates like Ron are just visitors, there for a short time and then they're gone. We were talking about television today, and Ron said that he NEVER gets to select the programs because he is a short termer (a renter). The long termers have seniority, and if they want to watch wrestling, that's what every one watches. That's just the way it is. The shows that those in charge choose are usually sports, reality or animal shows. Most of the time its National Geographic (how many times can you watch whales mate, says Ron), The Kardashians, or the Secret Lives of Beverly Hills Wives. Very stimulating stuff. But, you play by the rules and those in charge of the remote are the long termers. I think Ron will be happy to get home and take possession of his own remote. That's what every man really wants. Their own remote!