FifithVisit to Taft

Friday was another wonderful day with Ron at Taft. Our son Brian, and one of Ron's friends, was also there for part of the morning. Time flies when you're having fun, and Brian, who had planned to stay about an hour, was there three hours before he even realized it. With only 300 minutes of phone time per month, most phone calls are very short, so when we're together, there's a lot of talking to do.

There's a lot of emotion to deal with, too. Here's what I mean. Many wives put on a happy face when they come to visit their husband or son, but are crying inside. A common sight in the women's bathroom at Taft is wives sobbing. Why? I'm not exactly sure, but I think it's because they realize that for the time being they must make a life without a man, they may have to work, budget, and sacrifice, possibly something they never did before. The women who seem to have the hardest time are those with young children. How do they explain to a small child why daddy doesn't live at home and they only get to visit occasionally? That must be very hard.

Ron often talks about two powerful emotions, depression and fear. I will give you his take on both. Before he entered Taft, he had seven years of investigation by the Federal Government. He never knew what might happen on a given day. He would often wake up depressed. He could have been one of those people that stayed in bed all day and felt sorry for himself. Not Ron. He would give himself 10 minutes a day to feel bad, then he would go on with his day and you would never know the pressing problems he had. He says that early morning depression he used to have is now gone. He feels it's because he knows his future. He knows what he's doing today, tomorrow and next year. He no longer has to worry about Feds knocking on his door or subpoenas, depositions or trials.

Fear. Ron was never a fearful man, but when you know that the government wants, you also know that they will get you. This fear of the unknown is powerful and debilitating. Many people just curl up and surrender, but not Ron. Once he knew what was in store for him, the fear was gone. It was the unknown that scared him. There is no fear at Taft, not only because you know what's in your future, but because Taft is a safe environment. You feel secure there, there are no fights and no stealing. The inmates are not in competition with each other as they might be in general society, they're all trying to help each other get through their time there. They're like a team.

Because of the lack of depression and fear, Ron is very peaceful. His friend who came to see him today commented how at peace he seemed, and he is right. He has accepted his situation, and faces everyday with a smile. I try to do the same. Next week I plan to write about how the first seven weeks of Ron's incarceration have been for me. Stay tuned.