Phase Two-Week Eight

I haven't crossed out the dates on the calendar since Ron came home, but with just 11 days of home confinement left, I find myself again counting down the days. It's different, though. I used to get up each morning, look at the calendar, count how many days it was until I would see Ron again, then count the weeks and months until his release. Now I just think about the day that we don't get a 3am wake up call. Ron is very understanding about accountability and takes it all in stride. They could call him in the middle of the night and tell him he has to come take a drug test in the morning. I find that a bit harassing, but he understands how the system work.

My mother is coming to visit on Wednesday, and David is coming on Friday. Since Ron can't travel out of the Southern District, these visits are looked forward to with great anticipation. We both look forward to the day we can go to Los Angeles, and hopefully Colorado, to see our children and grandchildren. That will be part of Phase Three, which begins October 7.

Overall I think we have made a good adjustment to Ron's return. After October 7 things will change a little. He will no longer be accountable on an hour by hour basis, no one will be calling to see what he's doing, and he will be working more. Hopefully he will be umpiring on the weekends. No more having to be home at 8pm.

Ron's counselor at the halfway house has been very helpful. She has a huge case load, yet she has been there for him and helped him get through this process as painlessly as possible. Although it took some time, she finally got him excused from the Lifestyles class. She has been great.

Ron continues to think about his friends at Taft and wonders what they are doing. A day rarely goes by that he doesn't tell a story about one of the men he met there. I keep thinking of what Ron was told by so many people who have been incarcerated, and that was that after you're home, you'll forget everything and everyone. I see Ron, how he talks about the men that are still there and wonder how men do that. How do you walk away from 19 months of day in, day out living together, and never think of these people again? He can't do it, and I don't think he'd want to do it.

I went to LA about 2 weeks ago when Phil and his family came to town. I was just there for the day, but it was the first time in 6 weeks I had made the drive up there. I felt funny driving there, knowing that that would be the furthest point of my trip. I would not be going on to Taft. It felt strange, but I am so happy my intense driving days are behind me. I used to listen to a book on tape every week, now it's one book in three weeks. I miss seeing my mom every week. That was a treat, one of the best things that came from Ron's 19 months away. I got to spend time with my mom. Not quite the way I wanted it, but I have to look at the good side of things. Seeing my mom every week, my kids more often than I do now, and having a closer connection with my immediate family was a great bonus. It really helped me through those many months.

Now we're back to our ordinary lives, with a little less travel. We are both grateful to be together again, and for the time being, the family will have to come to us. I hope that will change soon.