Phase Two-Week Six

I threw out my jelly bean jar this morning. It was sitting empty in the kitchen, and everytime I walked by it, I was reminded of Ron's almost 19 months at Taft. Not that there's anything wrong with thinking about that time, but this was just a constant reminder that I wanted to get rid of.

Ron thinks about Taft alot. Everytime he's in traffic, or otherwise annoyed with a slight inconvenience, he thinks about the past 18 months and smiles. He is SO happy now and he gets angry with himself for allowing a little traffic or a line at the bank to upset him. Life is wonderful, for both of us, but he, more than me, appreciates the little day to day things. A trip to Costco is one of his favorite things to do these days. Not that he wants to buy everything, but just that he wants to look, to see what's available, to know what he missed.

Today we met for breakfast with our old horse trainer Alfredo, and his wife Angela. Ron had not seen them in several years, and it was such a warm and welcoming get together. We reminisced about our years together, and talked about the changes in our lives. They have 4 grandchildren now, we have 3. Two of their children are married, two of ours are married. We were like family for many years, and it was great to see that even though circumstances have changed and our lives are completely different, we still have such a strong connection.

Ron thinks he may be excused from the rest of the Lifestyles classes that he's been taking at the halfway house every week, but we're still waiting for final approval on that. In the meantime, life is getting back to normal, although things really won't seem normal until after October 7. Until then, Ron has to be in most nights by 6pm, a few weekend nights at 8 or 9pm. He has to call in twice a day, and they call us at least once each night, usually waking us up. He can only drive HIS car right now. After October 7 Ron will be on probation, with different rules, many less rules, and pretty much complete freedom to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants to, as long as he stays in the Southern District of California.

Ron tells me that he thinks about a few of his friends from Taft everyday. They are not allowed to have contact with each other, and that is very hard for him. It must be awful to have such close friends, then, in an instant, they're gone forever. There are some circumstances where felons can get permission to talk to each other after being released, but that will probably not happen in Ron's case.

We are still on our honeymoon. We are spending a lot of time together, and I know that will change in time. As Ron starts to get busy working, we will do less together during the day. Right now he has a little work, and very soon he will be umpiring pony league baseball several times a week. I love being with him, but I love my separate activities too. Things will soon balance out.

Here's what I'm having a hard time with. While Ron was away I got used to eating small, thrown together dinners most nights. I'd have a sweet potato and a cup or soup or a great salad. I rarely ate meat or fish or chicken. Now Ron comes home, and what does he want? He wants to go out almost everynight, which I don't want to do, or if we're home, he wants a steak, hamburger, hot dog, or some other meat item that I really don't want. We're basically on two different eating plans. How this will play out I'm not really sure. Right now we're doing things Ron's way for the most part, but that's only temporary. I told him when he came home that we would share responsibility for the household duties, and after his initial eating frenzy dies down, we will compromise on where and what we eat. Shared responsibility and compromise. Two things that keep a marriage together.