Seventh Visit to Taft

I drove cautiously to Taft on Friday morning. If you remember, I left my driver's license with the guard last week as always, but forgot to pick it up at the end of my visit. So flying to Colorado was a bit of ordeal, but worked out ok, then I just had to be careful not to speed on my way to Taft. I made it, and had a fantastic visit as always. This week David was there for about two hours (our son). He always brightens up the room and makes things lively, so Ron really enjoyed that.

I said I would write about "getting real" this week. I'll try to explain. While the events of this saga are unfolding, you are busy dealing with the day to day changes, talking to lawyers, visiting lawyers, taking depositions, going to court, talking with prosecutors, and paying lawyers. This doesn't leave a lot of time to deal with the emotions you are, or should, be feeling. You're just so busy. So, when it all comes to a head and the judge tells you you'll be incarcerated for 24 months, you're numb. But reality quickly sets in and you are relieved. Yes, it sounds odd, but it is a relief to know what is going to happen. I have always felt that fear of the unknown is the most difficult thing to deal with.

Even when you finally know when and where you are going, reality has not truly set it. Ron said that for the first few weeks he was at Taft, he would lie on his bed in the afternoon, doze off, and think that when he woke up this would all be just a dream. After you do that a number of times, you realize this is for real. It is not a dream.

At Taft the inmates call it a "Come to Jesus meeting" with yourself. It does not have any religious implications. By this they mean that you have a talk with yourself and come to terms with the fact that this is where you are, this is where you will be for X number of months or years, and you better deal with it. After you have this meeting with yourself you are ready to move on to the next level, which is making the best possible life for yourself while you are there. He pointed out a man in the visitors room who has been there for many years and still has not come to terms with his situation. He's still playing the victim. This is so sad because he cannot move forward until he accepts where he it. Ron has done all of this and has moved on. He is positive and productive everyday.

Ron made a few interesting comments Friday about the whole experience. He feels that his time in Taft will add years to his life and is giving him great perspective on his life up to this time, and time to think about the future. The diet (he doesn't eat much junk anymore, just the bland food they offer), exercise and excellent health care is definitely a good thing. Plus, there is no stress at Taft. Everything is taken care of for you. Not so bad.

He also spoke about the fact that everything changes after incarceration. He will never take anything or anyone for granted again. Respect is the name of the game at Taft. I will write more about this topic next week. For now, all I can say is this is the end of the second month already. Time is moving quickly. Today is our 40th anniversary. Happy Anniversary, Ron.