My Personal Journal

A week ago I dropped Ron off at Taft, so I figured one week later I'd have a lot to tell you. Unfortunately, he has not called or written yet, which I guarantee is no fault of his own. They have their procedures, you know. So I'll give you a little background on what I think is happening in Taft, and how I have been holding up.







Our attorney told us that once you are in the system, be prepared for anything, and go with the flow. There's nothing you can do about their procedural snaffoos. Ron went there with all his ducks in a row. He had his medical records, his medications, his legal papers, and his money. The reason for bringing all this is to expedite processing. I can only imagine how long things would take if he hadn't brought all these documents with him! Money is critical. If you don't bring money, you can't buy a phone card. You also can't buy any of the items that you might need from their store (you have to buy their stuff, after all they're in business to make money). This would include paper and stamps, radio, coat, etc. Ron would have had to wait until I sent by Western Union a money order, and who knows how long that would take to process? So he went with the money, which they put into his account, but apparently he hasn't been completely processed yet. My only other thought is that they don't give newcomers privileges right away. This is a possibility. I do know one thing. They are definitely not interested in making the situation easier for anyone involved.







In the meantime, I know he is there and probably surrounded by a new group of friends by now. He's a pretty friendly guy, and I can imagine him watching the football game today, screaming at the quarterback, with his new group. I hope he's not cold, I hope he's not lonely.

I am relying on my friends for support, and getting more than I ever could have imagined. For the most part, people really are wonderful and want to help. I have found that those who may seem like they're not supportive probably just don't know what to say, so they say nothing. Keeping busy helps, but at the end of the day I'm alone with my thoughts. That's something no one can help me with.







Crying. I expected to do a lot of that in the first few weeks, but so far that is not the case. I am busy during the day, tired at night, and time is going quickly. Sometimes during the day I will reach for the phone as I so often did, to call Ron and see how his day is going. I miss that. I know I will have my moments. As I have said before, I look forward to this challenge. Once I hear from Ron, once I get to go see him, we will work into a routine.



I almost forgot to tell you about my cleaning obsession. I am not a good housekeeper, never have been, never will be. But something has happened this week. I'm on a cleaning spree like you wouldn't believe. I started in the kitchen, throwing out unneeded food in the cupboards, refrigerator and freezer. Then I moved to the bedroom, and am in the process of going through every drawer and closet and throwing away clothes that I don't wear or don't fit. Enough with the clutter. I find all this very therapeutic.





It's so quiet in the house and that is a new sound for me. Usually Ron would have a ball game on or I would be watching the news. I have hardly turned the TV on since he left (except I am watching the Golden Globes right now) and have really enjoyed the quiet. And more than once I have looked for Barney. Old habits are hard to break. Change is hard, but it also leads to personal growth. I'm hoping to grow alot in the coming months. Next week I hope to give you my account of Ron's first impressions, how he is managing, and how it felt to finally talk to him.





.