Thirty Fourth Visit to Taft

I usually write my Monday blogs after my visit to Taft on Friday. This week, however, is Labor Day. The warden has decided to make the holiday a free visiting day, which means that none of Ron's 20 points will be used if I visit on Monday. So, I'm planning to visit on Sunday (a 6 point day) and Monday (free), a real treat. This will be the first time I have seen Ron on consecutive days in almost 9 months. Last week Carole and I drove to Taft together and decided we would visit on both days. She introduced me to a friend of hers who has a son at Taft. Her friend lives in Bakersfield, so we will visit Sunday, stay overnight in Bakersfield, and visit again Monday. I can't wait. I am writing this blog before my visit, as I may not be able to write on Sunday night.

Last week I wrote about Ron being at the bottom of the U. What this means is that his focus is on the future. He is working hard to develop a business that he can be successful at after release. As I've said before, Ron has been successful at every endeavor he has attempted, and there's no reason for me to think this will be any different.

We talk about loneliness alot when we're together, and how we get through the difficult times. Ron talks often about lying on his bunk and thinking about the day he is released. I'm sure he's played it over in his head hundreds of times. He thinks about walking out the prison doors, into our car and heading home. I can't imagine what that will feel like for him, but I hope he can hang on to that feeling and remember it. Some men walk out of prison and leave everything behind: clothes, experiences, friends and lessons learned. Ron has no intention of doing that. He feels it's important to remember the experience and the lessons learned in order to make one a better human being going forward. There's a lot of alone time in prison. There's only so many books you can read, sudokus you can do, conversations you can have. Then you're on your own, with your own thoughts and fears. These lonely times are filled by rereading old letters, looking at family pictures and thinking about the future.

I, on the other hand, fill my lonely times by writing. I never wrote a word before Ron left for Taft, but since he has been incarcerated I have found writing about the experience extremely cathartic. When I'm not writing, I may be lying on my bed thinking about the future. I count the weeks until his return and focus on our life after Taft. My other method of dealing with loneliness is to keep very busy. I have a wide variety of interests, and by keeping myself occupied I keep away the loneliness. There's only so much you can do, it creeps in late at night when the lights are out and you're all alone.

We're both becomming better at dealing with our separation. Ron no longer feels the saddness that used to come over him on Friday afternoon when he knew I would be leaving the visiting room. We both look forward to our visits with great excitement and when it's over, we are comfortable going back to our own lives for the next 6 days. I think that means we're both at peace. (this blog will actually be posted on September 13, the week after Labor Day. I'm writing so much that I more articles than I know what to do with.)

The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is offering a complimentary 12 ounce drink on September 14, from 4-7pm. Take an afternoon break and go get a classic pumpkin or cinnamon french toast latte or ice blended. It's free at all Coffee Bean locations, except those in Ralphs or airports. They invented the ice blended in 1963 and still do it better than anyone else. Enjoy.